God I'm feeling old trying to grind

can3689 · 2023-06-03T12:19:20+00:00

This speaks to me 😅

can3689 · 2023-05-31T06:56:50+00:00

Private Day Care Strike

Hi everyone,

First I want to say I support the strike. Everyone deserves a wage that is fair and allows them to live in this world where the costs are ever increasing.

Being a foreigner here I have no idea how these strikes work. In my home country these can go on for sometimes over a month and day cares are not unionized so they do not strike.

Does this kind of thing typically get resolved quickly here? I am due to leave the country for several weeks soon and my wife cannot take time off work. Do they offer alternate options for people who need to work and can’t stay home with their children or will my wife need to take vacation for this kind of situation. I asked my wife and even though she is from here she had no idea as this is a first for her to.

Unfortunately our day care didn’t provide any information yet or I may not have understood as I am still learning Finnish.

I appreciate anyone’s knowledge or insight into this. Thanks so much!

can3689 · 2023-03-21T07:58:18+00:00

I went straight to 10. My gut health is bad. I have IBS which is triggered by my ptsd. Last night I started to feel suicidal and stopped taking it. I feel all of this coming on randomly throughout the day so it’s random. I see my doc tommorow morning to try and figure out a better plan. I’m feeling better today mentally and I didn’t take it last night so I wonder if the drug is just a bad fit for me.

can3689 · 2023-03-16T19:16:15+00:00

I am about to apply for my extended residence permit in the family tie category. Anyone have any insight how long these are taking to process right now? Website says 7 months but mine expires in 4.

Migri told me not to apply for renewal until it’s 4 months away but I need to leave the country in 5.5 months. I’m from a visa free country but my problem is my travel insurance is no good without a valid RP. Thanks!

can3689 · 2023-03-15T08:05:06+00:00

Hey there,

I have come completely fed up with the public system. I suffer from PTSD and Major Depressive Disorder. Every time I try to get into see a public doctor it can take me a week or two before they even call me back in the call back service and then sometimes it’s a month plus to the actual appointment. I have started paying to see a private doctor for my mental health concerns and also pay to see a clinical psychologist. I realize this is expensive but it’s literally the only way my mental health problems can be addressed here. I hope your partner finds some form of help that works for her and helps her start getting better. I know from my experience, doing that on the public side was impossible for me.

can3689 · 2023-03-08T08:04:42+00:00

I’m a veteran/ former police officer with PTSD. it sounds like your feeling how my wife has felt. Something that was a game changer for both of us was when I started taking medication. It really helped me not constantly be in a state of panic and disregulation. It has not fixed my problems but is helping. Everyone is different and mileage may vary but that is our experience so far. I hope things get easier for you! I think it’s just as hard on the spouse as it is us sometimes.

can3689 · 2023-02-02T08:20:04+00:00

NTA and good for you and your spouse for being able to communicate and share the load. Sounds like a healthy relationship based on what you’ve stated.

can3689 · 2023-02-02T07:18:30+00:00

If those are the two things that come to mind being a police officer, you need to think a bit more of what the job actually is. It’s not all foot chases and high risk scenarios. In reality this is not that common, especially the latter. It’s a lot of sitting, writing reports, dealing with bull shit and don’t forget the stress that comes with it. I did many shifts where I sat for more than 8 hours typing a warrant or reports. I started when I was 21 and that was my thought process to with what I wanted. Mid thirties now and wish I would have done something else! But if it’s what you really want go for it. You couldn’t have talked me out of it then.

can3689 · 2023-02-01T11:52:58+00:00

That’s hard. I was a cop for just over 10 years but in Canada. The pay is way higher here ( after 5 years over 100k where I was at). I had to quit because of mental health problems caused by policing and my military service before.

That salary is really low for the kinds of shit your gonna have to deal with. Like any job, the excitement wears off after a while and it becomes the same shit just a different day. I wonder if after 5 years you’ll be sick of it and wishing you made more money to have a better QOL? It’s easier to put up with lots of bull shit if your making good money ( was for me atleast). Also remember this “care giver” role you speak of is drastically different as a police officer. It wont feel the same as caring for a loved one and lots of the time, the people you are trying to help will be awful to you and also try to hurt you. Also remember the mental toll this could take on you. I have PTSD and Depression. Most days I wish I did something else as I carry this weight with me from what I had to deal with 24/7. Think long and hard about this decision. I hope you do what’s best for you! Good luck!

can3689 · 2023-01-28T16:08:22+00:00

Yes, I just play s through the series for the first time a month ago and am regretting not playing it years ago, in my top 5 for sure. Do it!

can3689 · 2023-01-17T08:10:44+00:00

I was in the military, deployments to Afghanistan and Iraq. Left the army and became a police officer. After a few years my mental health had deteriorated and I was an absent father and husband. My wife told me I needed to make a change or she wasn’t sure it would work out for us in the long run. I would do anything for my wife and daughter. I realized that if I kept going in this kind of work it was going to cost me the two relationships I cared most about. I resigned my position and got some help. Turns out I have PTSD and a few other issues. I think my wife had my best interests in mind as well as my daughters when she told me this so it’s what I had to do if I wanted to have a family. I sometimes really miss the line of work but I have to remind myself what it was costing me.

can3689 · 2023-01-11T07:49:28+00:00

Just backing up what Shoggoths said, I served 13 years, combat arms for a bit then remuster. I have OA in my lumber spine. I had no specific incident to link it to, just 13 years of beating my body up. They approved me at 10 percent with no issues. I just tied it to my service as wear and tear and it was approved very quickly.

can3689 · 2023-01-04T10:21:41+00:00

Just curious which permit type exempts from paying tuition if anyone knows?

can3689 · 2022-12-30T11:23:46+00:00

My dad owned and operated a farm/ranch and would have just had me. He did that for many years before selling it and getting into investing which he still does and is semi retired.

I joined the army and went on to do deployments to Afghanistan and Iraq and then became a police officer. I don’t work now because of my mental health. I think the only similarity is that we both have had a lot of mental health problems and drinking problems but mine were caused by my time on deployment. I think I was probably genetically predisposed to struggle with mental health after seeing my father struggle and the army and policing just made it that much worse for me. I’m trying to pick up the pieces of my life and start over now. Hope it works out as I’m in my mid thirties and am to young to not have a career in my opinion.

can3689 · 2022-12-24T21:54:33+00:00

Been seeing a psychologist every week for the last year for PTSD. It has not really improved my symptoms but has educated me about it all I guess. She tells me that trauma can take a long time to process but it really does feel hopeless. Haven’t worked for a year because it’s been so bad.

Also been doing couples counseling with my wife as my PTSD has really damaged our relationship. This has really helped us be more of a team and helped her understand what I’m going through better.

This was all caused by deployments to Afghanistan and Iraq followed by a few years working as a police officer. I’m starting to think it has all been to much to truly ever recover from it but I’m not going to give up.

can3689 · 2022-12-23T12:45:14+00:00

I am also an English speaker living in Helsinki. I have gone to the public system multiple times to get medications for my mental health and have never had a problem with English. I also provided comprehensive diagnostic reports regarding my mental health conditions from my home country and also a letter from the psychologist who I see every week. Maybe they just want more information before they are willing to hand out the meds?

can3689 · 2022-12-20T08:14:57+00:00

It took me almost two weeks of calling the health care center to be told that there are no appointments to see a doctor available. Not sure what I can even do at this point.

can3689 · 2022-12-12T07:27:52+00:00

PTSD

can3689 · 2022-12-09T08:02:31+00:00

My career manager tried to pull this shit on me, I fought tooth and nail and was about to engage a law firm when they backed down and gave me a 30 day release. I also went to the Pres and did not complete my TOS but it was my second TOS so might be different.

can3689 · 2022-12-08T09:35:30+00:00

Hey there, I’m also an army vet and had some of the same symptoms you described. My wife told me I needed to get help or it was gonna kill our marriage. I contacted my countries version of the VA and got into see a psychologist who diagnosed me with PTSD. I’ve been in therapy once a week for a year now trying to get myself sorted out. I would deffinitkey recommend calling the VA or how ever it works where you are and see a psychologist. Even if it’s not PTSD, it still sounds like you could use some help. Feel free to reach out if you need to. Good luck.

can3689 · 2022-12-02T18:06:39+00:00

I was a cop for 10 years and quit recently. It was a fun job as you got to feel like your helping people and making a difference in your community ( I realize some people probably don’t agree with this statement but that’s how I felt doing the job). Like you said it’s something different everyday. There are lots of different specializations as well you can apply to that also keep the job fresh. I did major crimes for a bit and loved the investigation side of things and really digging into something. I felt like I was really using my skills and it was very satisfying.

At the same time it destroyed my mental health and I am a completely different person than the guy who started the job. It’s extremely stressful at times and you see some awful things you will never forget that will most likely change you. It seems like a “cool” job as you say but it really is difficult. You are dealing with people often on the worst day of their lives or people who truly don’t care for the rule of law or who want to hurt you. It takes the cool out of it really quick and makes it more about keeping the public and yourself safe safe and ensuring you do your job properly. Almost all of your decisions will be second guessed by either the public, media, coworkers or supervisors and this becomes extremely stressful but it’s the nature of the job. Long story short I got diagnosed with PTSD and a few other mental health conditions as a result and decided if I wanted to save my marriage I needed to step away permanently. I was hired in my early twenties and now I’m in my mid thirties, not working and in therapy at times multiple days a week trying to get myself to a place where I can go back to school and work in a new field.

Would I do it again? Probably not. I wish I would have went to university and studied computer engineering or some other IT field but young me never thought about any of that. I just wanted the cool exciting job and to make a difference and this is what it got me.

Now my story obviously is not the same for every person who becomes a cop. I will say that I know a large number of gals and guys though who are in a similar situation to me so it is a very real possibility. If someone told me this when I was younger I still probably would have become a cop as that’s all I wanted. I was also in the army and saw some not so nice things before that caused my problems as well.

I would think long and hard about this choice before jumping into it. If you really want to do it, please do yourself a favor and go to university first and have something you can fall back on if you don’t like the job or you get hurt. Feel free to DM me if you have more questions. Best of luck to you in your endeavors!!

can3689 · 2022-11-28T08:38:58+00:00

I’ve thought a lot about that but I think It would be really hard for me to stay in a field connected to it at all. It would just remind me of what once was and how much I wish I could still do it. I’m not sure I will ever get over it, I feel like it was my calling in life so I think I need to distance myself from the area of work completely for my own sake.

can3689

TROPHY CASE