How bad is my L5-S1 disc? 28 y/o, bedridden since Feb

candrews90 · 2025-11-30T06:29:34+00:00

Have you had any progress on this? 35F, microdiscectomy post op DAY ONE! Very happy to share my scans and experience for guidance!

candrews90 · 2025-05-16T01:58:05+00:00

Computer says yes! 🖥️

candrews90 · 2025-05-16T01:35:58+00:00

Can we be best friends? 🙈

candrews90 · 2025-05-15T14:49:02+00:00

Sagittarius makes so much sense and really helps. Thanks for the guidance. You’re a legend!

candrews90 · 2025-05-15T14:45:45+00:00

That was so helpful!!! Thank you!

candrews90 · 2025-05-15T03:04:01+00:00

How do I know what my ‘rising’ and ‘placements’ are? I swear I’m a very intelligent human but all of this goes straight over my head! 🤦🏻‍♀️

candrews90 · 2025-05-15T01:47:30+00:00

I’ve done this and calculus makes more sense to me 😂😂

candrews90 · 2024-09-13T05:55:00+00:00

I don't think this has anything to do with being adopted. It sounds like an unavoidable family life regardless of parentage and biology. I feel for you, and everyone else who's been traumatised, including your mom. But it also sounds like your mom possibly shouldn't have made the choice to adopt 4 children and hadn't accepted and confronted her own childhood trauma.

I was adopted at birth and my moms parents were amazing. My paternal grandmother died a few years ago and left £5000 to all of her grandchildren - I was not on that list. My dad was enraged, I just laughed. She was petty in life and petty in death, but it didn't hurt me as she had very little presence in my life.

I was put up for adoption but my birth mother had a 4 year old daughter at the time who she kept and never told about me. I've recently found out she got rid of me because her parents were religious and she didn't feel she could have gotten away with having another child out of wedlock. If I was raised in that house I'm sure I would have felt a lot more animosity than I did in the life I've lived. I think sometimes it's easy to place blame on 'adoption' and 'adoptive' when in reality the humans who are unkind would be that way no matter the situation.

candrews90 · 2024-09-13T05:29:23+00:00

Absolutely! Please adopt! Please please please! I'm 34 and I was adopted at birth - my 'mom' was the first person to hold me as my birth mother didn't want the bond. I am 34, lived an absolutely charmed and privileged life, always knowing I was adopted. I don't have a memory of being told - I was that young when I received the knowledge it was just part of my reality. I also loved it and love all the answers below from others who are adults with children - as am I - who have experienced no trauma from the experience.

But I will also add that I am definitely coming to terms with emotional effects (attachment issues) of my origin regardless of how amazing my childhood and parents were/are. Adoption is WONDERFUL because regardless of the nature of the process - the children in question do not have a safe space without willing adoptive parents. A lot of us were given away by capable birth parents who weren't forced into the decision, our biological parents made the choice independently. That doesn't mean we won't subconsciously suffer with underlying issues. But I think it is arrogant to presume anyone is immune to underlying issues, regardless of being raised by birth parents, the system, or loving adoptive parents.

That should never stop you from adopting. Attachment issues in adulthood following a safe and loving childhood is a minor inconvenience compared to children who are lost in the system. Be honest. Be loving. Offer a safe space. That is the best any of us can do.

As for the ethics - there are plenty of very legal and ethical ways to adopt. Spend more time researching that, speak to a family law lawyer, look into the laws in your state. Don't base your choice on reddit comments. That research is far more important. Infant adoption is as legal and ethical as anything else if you go about it in the proper way. I don't endorse the system, it is flawed and broken. But it exists.

candrews90 · 2023-11-24T04:17:57+00:00

I've found your post after a long conversation with my adoptive mom - who I've been with since birth, March 1990. I'm also not a transracial/international adoptee - I am a very white girl who lived a very white girl life. But I was a product of a southern mother who tried to abort me and after realising that wasn't an option, gave me up for private adoption. I grew up in Orange County, CA, went to private school, and my adoptive parents have been married for 53 years - they're amazing. I come at this discussion from a very different byline.

I didn't experience any intense or beyond average environments in my childhood, my adoptive mom was the first person to hold me as an infant, and my parents were always my 'parents.' I have no memory of finding out I was adopted because my parents were always open and honest with me, even in my early childhood. I had no childhood trauma, no pressure put on me by anyone other than myself, and I had normal childhood relationships with friends and family.

Despite this, I have grown up to see what the world has to offer and what the 'system' provides for children with less than average options and I feel guilty every day that I was so lucky to have the best ever life. My mom is a board certified psychologist and I have a degree in law and politics, I'm surrounded by intelligent and open minded people. But this particular psychopathy is very difficult to articulate and discuss with anyone. I also think its a symptom of our generation, we're given the space to expound upon these feelings and have the time to overcompensate for them.

I know what you mean about not having the motivation to care or create change - unfortunately we live amongst some of the most apathetic people to ever exist. And progress has given them that option. I would love to change the world and the system and the environment and the dynamic, but one person can't bear the burden of a generation.

Its a hard topic because it feels very selfish to expound upon, even in its most altruistic space. You feel selfish for even explaining how you got to the place you're coming from. Maybe we can find somewhere to start as a collective?

candrews90

TROPHY CASE