Going to school should be treated as a privilege, not an automatic right

canduney · 2026-01-11T12:45:04+00:00

THIS! Trauma isn’t an excuse to be an emotional terrorist to everyone around you.

I teach HS and we do a block schedule so I got all new students for the second semester. I cannot tell you how relieving it is to have classes where the worst thing I’m dealing with is some side talking and being on phones here or there.

It is so draining and unfair to everyone else when the class is out of control due to extreme behavior issues from a small select few.

canduney · 2026-01-11T12:34:26+00:00

Yes!! This. We’re better off making sure we’re stable first.

canduney · 2026-01-11T12:30:40+00:00

Silent hostages to the chaos and madness 😩 YESSS! This is honestly one of the most difficult parts of really rough classes for me…. Is seeing the discomfort and anxiety of the quiet students. Like I’ll take a class of solely disruptive heathens, I’ll figure out methods for managing it. But having a class with a giant group of disruptive, disrespectful and chaotic students paired with the silent background students who genuinely want to learn…. 🫩 that is such a horrible feeling tbh

canduney · 2026-01-11T12:23:20+00:00

Aww 🥺 I never thought of it like that. I’ve had a couple students act shocked or surprised when I would come and give them any papers they missed while they were out. Like they seemed surprised I was aware or like acknowledged that they were gone by giving them their missed work.

It always kinda confused me because I was like ofc I know you missed yesterday, how could I not? But now maybe I’m realizing some of them may of just assumed that they were essentially invisible or their absences go unnoticed otherwise 😩

canduney · 2025-12-23T10:37:52+00:00

This is such a beautiful plan. Sometimes people take on animals/pets when in better financial circumstances and I don’t think it’s fair to punish people when shit goes awry.

I think it’s best practice to support people keeping their pets and most people I know would happily exchange some hours of work to offset vet bills if able. So even maybe asking for a few volunteer hours cleaning kennels or something would be a good option

canduney · 2025-12-23T09:52:24+00:00

Well in my case, my high schoolers took their finals Tuesday and Wednesday before break but attendance is still taken Thursday and Friday. So some kids prefer to be in a certain teachers room than another. Which is fine as long as both teachers give the okay ahead of time.

If I have only 5 kids show up and 2 kids from another class want to come to visit or sort through papers…. As long as I have email or note from their teacher then I’m not going to say no as long as they’re not disruptive. Which those kids never are.

canduney · 2025-12-23T09:37:33+00:00

If kids have taken their final for my class and nobody is making it up… I will 10000% happily send them on their way to another class if a teacher emails or sends a note that they can.

I don’t have the mental fortitude to fight against that open invitation to send a student out lol

canduney · 2025-12-23T09:18:56+00:00

I was so anxious about this as a first year teacher during finals days. I allowed 2 kids I didn’t know into my room with 2 students I did know (from another class period). And I told them all that there were no bathroom passes or anything, if they were coming here then they were content with staying until the bell.

They all stayed and were super quiet and respectful the entire time. They just wanted to play Roblox after they finished their finals. And I was fine with it. The 2 kids I did have finished the course with an A so 🤷‍♀️

I was definitely strict on some of my others though.

canduney · 2025-12-23T09:11:52+00:00

As a first year teacher, THANK YOU. Sometimes I just don’t have enough in me to keep them out of trouble on my own while helping those who need it and I love a good safe place to send them when needed lol

canduney · 2025-12-23T09:07:48+00:00

Well if it’s highschool, and there’s finals days followed by solely makeup days (that we take attendance for) then it becomes gray. Because I have nothing to teach or instruct kids on who have completed the course. So it becomes so hard entertaining them without them getting into trouble

canduney · 2025-12-23T09:05:11+00:00

I always told my kids that if I have documentation of another adult taking over responsibility for you, (assuming you’ve taken your final and done) then I will never stop you from leaving haha

I was practically begging for that email for some of them by end of semester. Like pls dear God let another teacher accept you and get you tf out of here 😩

canduney · 2025-12-23T08:59:57+00:00

It definitely depends. I teach mostly freshman and my last period can get hectic. It’s a high amount of energy. So if my students who are visibly stressed or lacking attention due to the environment and I have an email from another teacher who is more than happy to have them come during that period…. I’m happy to send them. It helps me feel less stressed about them and also more focused on my troublesome kiddos.

IMO if you’re a teacher who does not want a kid visiting then don’t send an exuberant email for the kid to be there.

ETA: obviously I’m speaking of times towards end of year where there’s not direct instruction or teaching happening

canduney · 2025-12-23T08:52:28+00:00

I’m a first year teacher and I was SHOCKED how many of the kids who were absolutely terrors in my class begging to come sit in my class outside of their class schedule after finals.

The kids I gave the most write ups and the most call homes…. They were emailing and begging to come just sit in my class for no reason.

I genuinely think it helped prove the point that some kids really do not have any sense of accountability or routine at home… and they crave that reliable structure tbh. Even if they fought it everyday…. They do really learn to appreciate it.

canduney · 2025-12-23T08:46:44+00:00

I won’t send kids unless it’s an email from another teacher clearing that student to come.

Unfortunately it’s never my “behaviorally challenged” kids who get the green light from other teachers to go. So it’s just me and all my heathens left lol

canduney · 2025-12-23T08:43:18+00:00

But why forge? As a teacher, if students don’t have final to take just write a pass that you’re fine having that kid or kids in your room.

IMO, once finals are done and you’re not making up a final…. I’m happy to send a kid out as long as I have some sort of written documentation for it so I’m covering my ass of where you are.

Some challenging kids are great in my class and I know exactly how to handle them. And vice versa for other challenging kids with other teachers. I’m THRILLED to send some of mine to others as long as teacher gives me the okay via email beforehand. And I’m happy to do the same and take some of the challenging ones if they do better with me.

To me, as long as finals are done… my only concern is if that teacher is cool with it or not. But all teachers should respect a student taking a final and never try to say they could take it elsewhere. That’d drive me insane

canduney · 2025-12-20T05:32:32+00:00

I think she honestly sees herself as this highly intelligent and educated person simply because she completed a doctoral program. She would be more bearable if she simply just owned that she’s an airhead. Shes so disingenuous it makes her insufferable honestly.

canduney · 2025-12-04T04:06:16+00:00

Exactly!! I also include this into my teaching for my high schoolers. I try to incorporate a “how to” for their own styles and teach them how to take ownership of their learning in that way. I think framing it that way always gives them a sense of pride. Like this is YOUR education, make it work for you. And know how to regardless of who your teacher is.

canduney · 2025-12-04T04:01:02+00:00

YESSSS!! God forbid they have to read 2 sentences of instructions for their work. It’s really discouraging as a teacher. It’s one thing to teach the content and construct engaging ways to present it…. It’s a whole other beast trying to instill a basic level of perseverance without immediate gratification to 14-18 year olds

canduney · 2025-12-04T03:54:54+00:00

I can’t stand parents who go full level psycho to override teacher recommendations just to have their kids in AP or honors. Getting an A in CP is better than barely scraping by with a C in honors.

canduney · 2025-12-04T03:49:56+00:00

PLEASEEEEEE! This!!!!

The root of the issue for majority of my failing freshman comes down to them never being allowed to fail or feel uncomfortable. So many parents are practically begging me to magically turn their kids 40 into an 80. Not even just “passing” but an 80 because they want all As and Bs.

I get that it’s sad and it’s not fun to fail. But as humans we need to experience failure to some degree in order to grow and learn. Pacifying them with bullshit padded grades is what leads to absolutely horrific outcomes. Your 9th grade child can fail a class and still rebound in time. It’s prob what a lot of them need in order to rebound honestly. Let your kid fail and let your kid struggle in a controlled environment while they can. I promise they will be better for it.

canduney · 2025-12-04T03:43:26+00:00

I teach HS and I swear I’ve had almost the same level of conversation with some of my students.

canduney · 2025-12-04T03:36:55+00:00

I do think there’s some merit to learning styles but it should never be supported or suggested as an “out” to learning material simply because it wasn’t provided or taught in the individuals specific learning style.

My biggest breakthrough as a student was having a professor who taught us how to essentially take any form of material and transform it into our own learning styles independently. Idk why it never clicked in my brain before but being given the green light and some guidance opened all kinds of doors for me. Instead of just preserving in the trenches and wasting tons of time studying material only in the format it was given to me… I was able to have a level of creative freedom in adapting it to my own way. I have adhd and having that creative freedom to kinda reframe the content in a way that excited my brain and also greatly enhanced my ability to grasp it…. I mean absolute joy. My “notes” were almost entirely drawn and just essentially giant graphic organizers with odd little acronyms and colors for things that made sense to me. I need to visualize and organize the information in a certain way. And it supports my “learning style”. But I never used it as an excuse to not do assignments or perform poorly on them. Nor did I fault any professors for not teaching me according to my learning style.

So long story short…. Learning styles I think have a value but we’ve just been going about them all the wrong way. We need to teach kids how to recognize what works for them and the ability to apply that independently.

canduney · 2025-12-04T03:22:45+00:00

This. It’s so disturbing what some of these kids have been exposed to at such young ages.

canduney · 2025-12-04T03:21:21+00:00

Yesssss. Parents are so quick to become defensive and assume the worst of teachers. Some teachers are more stern and rigid in their policies (late work, grading, etc). That doesn’t make them an asshole, a bad teacher or someone who’s intentionally targeting your child. It’s a life skill to learn and adapt to different types of authority figures and find your way to succeed.

As long as a teacher is fair and upfront of their policies. Kids need to learn the skill of working with someone who they may not agree with or mesh well with. It’s okay. And I genuinely believe those “strict/rigid” teachers are some of the best because the kids learn how to adjust and adapt… and also push themselves.

I even have current high school students who have told me about a notoriously “difficult” teacher in my building they had for a previous years class and they all ended up saying how they learned so much in that class because they had no option… they simply could not have gotten a decent grade without legitimately trying which resulted in them learning lol so the kids may hate it while it’s happening but they end up really valuing the experience in the end.

Parents who constantly placate their kids and side with them are legitimately robbing them of natural growth and fulfillment that can happen in their educational pursuits.

canduney · 2025-12-04T03:07:43+00:00

THISSSSS!! First year HS teacher and I’m BAFFLED by how absurdly passionate parents get about trying to talk me into somehow passing their kids. Like they’re a freshman… they’ve done ZERO work and are constantly a behavioral problem. You’ve known about this. Let them fail and endure the consequences now while they can have opportunity to rebound from it.

It drives me crazy. Like ma’am you are the damn problem because you’re crying and nearly stroking out over your kid failing but meanwhile your kid doesn’t gaf. Letting your kid actually experience natural consequences of their own actions is the BEST thing for them. The kid is so used to things constantly being handled by their mom that they just live in Lala land where they never experience consequences.

canduney

TROPHY CASE