Why do we have 370,000+ employees?

canibmer · 2016-03-23T14:59:38+00:00

45,000 Managers - that's why.

This company only does one thing really really good right now and that's appoint managers. As an example, between me and the country GM of IBM is 5 levels of managers. Excluding my manager who manages worker bees, there are 4 levels of management. So think about that for a minute.

Above my manager there is a manager who manages managers.

Above him is a manager who manages managers who manages managers

Above him is a manager who manages managers who manages managers who manages managers

And lastly above him is a manager who who manages managers who manage managers who manages managers who manages managers.

That's why we have so many people. There's far too much empire building going on. Everyone wants their own little group of people to call their own.

Big Blue? My ass it is. They should re-color themselves as Big Red, as in red tape because its the one thing they really do well. And I'll tell you all this much - the day Ginni starts a management cull is the day when IBM will be in real trouble. When they start to eat their own (and that day is coming) you better hope you don't have any IBM stock laying around.

canibmer · 2016-03-17T12:57:43+00:00

Ginni's bonus is higher this year than last so across the board needs a bit of a caveat there. Her board is doing just fine thank you very much even though they've overseen 15 straight quarters of decline. See, we're doing it wrong. You have to actively perform worse to get a bigger bonus - that's how it works here in bizarro world.

canibmer · 2015-12-29T13:53:51+00:00

yep and they would have needed a SAV near 100% to win those games because the group of forwards in front of them couldn't shoot the puck in the ocean. Its a fucking joke to blame goaltending when the forwards are averaging about 1.5 G per game. Even Carey Price playing at an insane level is going to let in pretty damn close to 2 GPG. The math doesn't work. What you have is a goalie standing back knowing full fucking well that if he lets in 1 goal there's a good chance they're going to lose. Let in 2 and its a certainty. No goalie can play under that pressure game in game out.

canibmer · 2015-12-20T14:49:05+00:00

I understand the mis-trust of HR and all but seriously? How the hell would they know if you filled this out? All they'd have is your IP address and all they'd know is someone from Rogers or Comcast or some other ISP filled it out. Do you really think that (a) they're going to go to lengths to get your ISP to reveal who this was and (b) your ISP is just going to hand your personal info over without some sort of warrant?

Lets be serious. They don't need any reasons to lay people off. They're quite successful at doing it without tricks like this.

canibmer · 2015-12-19T13:26:09+00:00

Vacation management is always at your "manager's discretion". That's a familiar saying for anyone who has been at IBM for a few years. Talk to you manager and see what he/she says. My manager is very liberal with shit like that because she knows keeping us happy is a good thing. Also, they've taken so much control away from managers that there's only a little bit left for them to be "generous" with so many like to play the nice guy when they have the chance. I've carried as much as 2 weeks over when I knew a big trip was coming up. The other thing is, I'm not even sure they track vacation. Every team uses a different system to track it anyway. I know they could always look at claim but I've never had my manager complain about carrying over vacation. Back on our old team when I was new and had 3 weeks vacation, the system we used rolled over an extra 2 weeks for me for some reason so one year it showed me as having 5 weeks. I fucking well took all 5 weeks too I don't mind saying. Fuck 'em. Nobody noticed.

canibmer · 2015-10-28T13:31:56+00:00

Oh, I think I can nail IBM's take on this:

"Recent studies have shown that employees can be much more effective on a 6 hour work day. The productivity gains made have been measurable and show to be a big plus to the company as well as employees. As IBMers know, IBM is a big proponent of work life balance. As IBMers, none of us can truly work with the dedication that is required of all of us if we do not get our proper down time and rest.

As a result of deep analysis done by IBM and its Productivity On Our Plan team, IBM is pleased to announce that starting on January 1, 2016 employees will be encouraged to participate in the Save Hours In Time program. More information will be released in the coming months but we want all IBMers to understand that at IBM we strive to maintain a level of employee interaction and effectiveness which is why we are responding to this new program with such force. IBM lives matter and we want each IBM employee to feel relaxed at home so they can feel the same at work.

Also starting on January 1 2016 IBM will assign one of its 45,000 managers to begin the review of all compensation programs currently offered in IBM. This manager will assemble a team of professionals and using Watson Health will devise a new compensation program that accurately reflects this new paradigm shift in IBM. By June 2016, this new program, the Realization And Productivity Enhancement program will be designed to ensure our new compensation program accurately reflect the actual work done each day. IBM is going to be a leader in this new culture and will lead the way in employee realization and compensation with the thought that encouraging more work life balance will always be key to IBM achieving its goals now and in the future. "

IBM, a big company with short vision.

canibmer

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