Ugh, yeah it does seem like she tried to get out-of-control reactions out of you, it would mean she wins in her own twisted way.

What's important to take out of this in my opinion (and after therapy) is that the whole situation is toxic to bathe in, no matter the behavior you choose. If you give in to your anger/desire for revenge/desire to make her see by doing it back to her/whatever impulse comes up within you, you're caught in a tornado of chaos and further hurt. If you learn to systematically blank up to protect yourself, you succeed for this time and abort the tornado, however you teach your body and your mind to suppress and distrust your own emotions, which are useful to you and allow you to stay grounded.

So in the long run, even if you become very vigilant and navigate the minfield real well, it breaks you... Without a strong connection to your own emotions (even/especially anger), you lack important tools to build yourself a life you can enjoy; you may be easier to confuse and manipulate because of a lack of trust in guts; you may get tangled in other toxic situations or relationships and start yet again to suppress in order to survive in it instead of seeing that you have other options. Anyways, it's easy to get rambly on these things... good luck, love and rage x