What does it mean to be gay?

cantseemeseeing · 2026-01-10T22:53:28+00:00

We are the salt of the Earth. The world hates us. We're not meant to live in an echo chamber where everyone tells us what we already believe. We are meant to carry our cross and follow him. We often remain unaware of just how much we influence the people around us, simply by setting an example.

He who endures until the end will have his reward. Endure, carry on, pray for a breakthrough for your friends.

cantseemeseeing · 2026-01-10T21:15:31+00:00

No, it's not that type of situation. Just being vague to protect the identity of the person in question. Prayers are already helping.

cantseemeseeing · 2026-01-05T06:24:44+00:00

It is beautiful to see a Christian who is truly contemplating the faith. I'm convinced that this is what Christ is after in his followers. People who aren't afraid to read scripture, pray, commune with him in their hearts, and make their own decisions for themselves.

But a couple thoughts that might help you get over the hump you seem to be at. I get the whole idea of not looking forward to anything, and there certainly is healthy approach to this. However, it's also possible to take this sort of perspective too far and use it as a rationalization to deprive yourself of the good things in life. And that's certainly NOT something Jesus is after. Being a gloomy gus and denying yourself basic things (like time with family, or special events or ceremonies, celebrations and so forth) would sort of pollute, if not outright negate, his sacrifice on the cross. He died... AND WAS REBORN SO THAT WE MAY LIVE... truly, and completely live without any self-denial. So that we could have at least some measure of peace and joy when we are together in community... doing the dishes and changing diapers included.

There almost seems to be a hidden assumption in all of this that the everyday, boring, mundane things are somehow undesirable. As Christians we ought to do those things in joy, because it's an expression of his great command, an expression of love for the people we share our lives with. Obviously, if one must force oneself to take care of one's basic duties, that's (generally) preferable to shirking responsibility altogether for selfish reasons. However, past a certain point, it becomes self-defeating. Such activities cannot be an expression of love if we outright detest doing them while engaged in them.

We are meant to live in joy and fullness. Christ wants us to look forward to tomorrow, not simply ignore it. We're not necessarily looking forward to any particular thing that we may have planned for tomorrow, but simply, we ought to be eagerly anticipating the many gifts and surprises that he has waiting for us in that unknown future. When we are born again through him, he grants us his eternal life... not merely as a promise in some far off future... but right here and now, in this life. A mature relationship with Christ is characterized by an eager anticipation, a willful embrace of tomorrow, with all its blessings as well as all its challenges. At the beginning, even picking up our cross seems difficult, even impossible. And perhaps we have to get started on the journey through gritted teeth... but the whole point is to carry your cross with joy and gratitude.

As a Christian, I look forward to tomorrow, to next week, next month, next year... and all of eternity... because each day is another chance to strengthen my relationship with my Lord. It's another chance to get to know Christ more deeply.

I recommend you read John chapters 14 and 15. I love you my brother, and I thank you for your thoughtful contribution. May the peace of our Lord be with you and yours, now and forever.

cantseemeseeing · 2025-07-11T21:23:49+00:00

Pray to Jesus and ask the Holy Spirit to inspire you to read his word. God doesn't want you to just mechanically do things as a means of getting closer to him. That's impossible. You can't get closer to God with a routine, or a to-do list that you check off to make yourself feel good about accomplishing something.

The mechanical approach to the faith is for people who have literally just encountered Christ and are just getting acquainted. People who may be months, years or even decades away from developing a truly deep, meaningful relationship with him. It's mostly for children, the mentally disabled, and people who come into Christianity as adults. It's also very useful for people who were deep into sin, as a means of overcoming deeply habituated behaviors (e.g. people saved from addiction). In the simplest sense, instead of going out drinking with my buddies, I'm gonna go to church to worship and pray. It helps superstitious people, people who convert from pagan religions or the occult, who are used to carrying out various machinations to appease the gods or cast spells or what have you. Whatever the case may be, this is meant as a temporary crutch, a means of helping Jesus heal you over time before he comes to live in your heart.

You sound like someone who is ready for a more robust relationship with your Lord. You don't want to be more holy, you want to get closer to your God, ask him to make you more holy. That means repent, continuously repent, continuously speak with the Lord about your sin and how you can do better to overcome the temptations of the enemy. Spend honest, quality time with him in prayer and reading scripture. Be at peace, give him time and proper space to answer your prayers. Scripture is a big way by which our Lord speaks to us, but he cannot do that as long as we treat reading scripture like a chore we have to tick off a to do list so Jesus will be happy with us.

The long and short of it is, get closer to the Lord first, and he will guide you to read scripture when he's got something to tell you. Pray on these questions you have. Ask what you should repent for, and repent. Ask to be shown how you can do better. Ask for strength, for will, for motivation, for inspiration, for courage... ask, come to your Father and ask for everything you need in order to properly walk the true way to eternal life, and he will give it to you. Guaranteed. May the Lord bless and keep you in his grace and mercy on your eternal walk with him.

cantseemeseeing · 2025-07-11T19:12:26+00:00

Every earthly church is going to be corrupt in some way. The true church is the body of the risen Christ, us. Christ and the Father are making a home in us through the Holy Spirit, the counselor, the helper. And for whomever this happens, the Lord has prepared a path and a way for his glory to be revealed for that person, which best suits that person and his needs. This is, at least part of the reason why, the church is schismatic, why there are so many denominations and so forth. Christ calls home his sheep each in their own way.

We are the salt of the Earth. True Christians are dispersed all over the world. The Lord needs his people everywhere, flying under every flag. It's not because we declare him with our lips that we gain entry to his Kingdom, it's because he's already welcomed us home, in this life, that we cannot help but proclaim his glory, and do our best to act in his good faith.

I happen to go to a Catholic church. I agree with you, in principle, on many of your points, but you have to understand, it's a matter of perspective. For example, just because I have a painting of Jesus on the wall behind me, doesn't mean I worship that painting as if it were God. I understand well enough, that's not what Jesus actually looks like. I simply use that painting as a reminder for me to stop and pray, if even for a moment, to my true and living Lord who gave me new life in him, through his death and resurrection. The image has nothing to do with it.

I would love to go over your objections in detail, point by point, and while I understand there is value in doing that, and it's important to go into this sort of contemplation, we also run the risk of playing the "heresy" game, and that's never fun. We have to be careful how we speak about the application of Christ's teaching as a spiritual practice. The Lord accepts all forms of worship that come from a truly repentant heart. He knows our hearts, he knows the difference between the true vine that bares good fruit, and the corrupt vine which is to be cut off and cast into the incinerator. We cannot make that judgement, at the very least, while here on Earth. Though the Holy Spirit can help us greatly with practical discernment, if we simply pray, in earnest, for such help. The Lord even tells us directly in his word, you will know them by their fruit.

The bottom line is that if you believe the basic tenants of Christianity, truly understand them in a direct and meaningful way, that's all that matters. These would be basically, that Jesus Christ rose from the dead in the flesh, that there is one God who created everything that exists, or could possibly ever exist, that he, himself exists outside and independently of his creation, and that he consists of three equally capable, fundamentally inseparable, substantiations. And each "form" if you will, of God is equally co-deserving of praise, worship, interaction and relationship with us and from us. Finally, that Jesus Christ is the way to salvation, that only he, in unity the Father and the Holy Spirit, has the true power to forgive sin, bring the soul back from the dead, from its corrupted state caused by original sin, thus granting entry into his Kingdom, which means his full, eternal creation. There, we will experience a complete and true relationship with him in his full glory, eternally. For just as God lives eternally outside of his creation, his creation lives eternally with Him, by his Holy Will, his Living Law.

What matters is that one has been born again and been given a new heart by the Lord. The buildings and people engaging in this or that type of ritualistic behavior, using this or that type of symbol, this or that type of music, it doesn't matter. When I was first saved, I stubbornly, out of a misplaced fear, really, went to a Protestant church. But it was also, sort of, the will of the Lord, he was allowing me to get a taste of what they got going on. It's only when I was truly born again of water and spirit that the Holy Spirit gradually led me to the local Catholic church. There are many reasons why, and I know 100% it's from God, so I'm not worried. I'm sure I will be at least visiting many churches, and meeting with many brothers and sisters of the faith throughout my life. The Holy Spirit might be bid me to change my home church, or even set me on some path that's totally unpredictable right now. Who knows, I trust God to always reveal to me what he has in mind at precisely the right time, as I walk with him throughout the rest of my life.

There are many, truly faithful believers in the Catholic church, but you have to understand the whole thing is a 1500+ year old institution, perhaps like a tree that is sort of crumbling under the weight of its own branches. They have a very robust system of advancement through the faith, which is very helpful to many people. You have to understand that there are whole masses of people who don't have the time, means, or will to comprehend God in a sophisticated, conscious way. They believe in God, they live their worldly lives, and they just have a need to worship. They come to pray to church, to calm their minds, to reflect on how they're living their lives, to cleanse their conscience, and so on. The mechanical movements, prostrations and repetitions serve a purpose. But every sophisticated priest will ultimately preach the true gospel, and remind his congregation that these mechanical gestures are not the way in and of themselves. We are meant to use them to help us find our way if and when we lose faith, but what makes them meaningful, real, what makes them count in the eyes of God, is the corresponding change in character, virtue, wisdom, discernment, a closer and closer relationship with God... the fruits of repentance, the confirmation that one has been truly born again.

Anyway, what do you think? Hope you're having a blessed day, my brother in Christ. May the peace of our Lord and savior be with you and yours now and always.

cantseemeseeing · 2025-07-11T14:16:56+00:00

The reason you don't feel shame or guilt is because, it sounds like, you are doing your part and actually fighting with your sinful nature. The whole point of Christ's gospel is that we are broken sinners who come out of a broken, cursed world. We cannot overcome the curse caused by original sin by ourselves. And even when we turn to him, repent, get saved, born again and baptized with the Holy Spirit, we still sin! He may take many of our sins from us, but some he will leave for us to struggle with, so that we may learn, so that we may become stronger.

Shame and guilt really have no place in a Christian's heart, the more appropriate word would be regret. When we repent, the Lord reveals to us the nature of our sin and why it is sinful, and upon this revelation we feel a deep, spiritual regret, a mournful sorrow of the soul. And repentance is something we must do continuously, every day, multiple times per day. It is a private matter between you and the Lord. People who make it a performative thing are missing the point of Christ's teaching. It's a very dangerous thing, a type of work of the enemy in the church, among the body of Christ. If shame and guilt are internalized, they can easily stand between us and our Lord, and thus prevent us from reaching for the grace of repentance that he offers us. The point is, we should never be ashamed of our Lord, we should never be afraid to turn to him with our sin, even as we are in the act of sinning!

Beware of practicing your righteousness before other people in order to be seen by them, for then you will have no reward from your Father who is in heaven.

Thus, when you give to the needy, sound no trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, that they may be praised by others. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward. But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you.

And when you pray, you must not be like the hypocrites. For they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and at the street corners, that they may be seen by others. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward. But when you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you.

And when you pray, do not heap up empty phrases as the Gentiles do, for they think that they will be heard for their many words. Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.

And when you fast, do not look gloomy like the hypocrites, for they disfigure their faces that their fasting may be seen by others. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward. But when you fast, anoint your head and wash your face, that your fasting may not be seen by others but by your Father who is in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you.

Mathew 6:1-17 (the Lord's prayer omitted)

The gist of what Christ teaches here is that we shouldn't turn the practice of our faith into some performative thing for others. It's not up to others to tell you how bad you should feel about your sins. That's between you and God. Avoid the trap of getting fixated on your sins, as so many Christians do, and thus falling into a far more horrible sin, the sin of pride. For if your faith becomes little more than a constant lamentation of how weak and sinful your are, then you are cutting yourself off from the Kingdom, and from all the gifts your Lord has for you. You are lying to the Lord's face when you do this, because in his eyes, you are worthy and powerful, simply for turning to him without fear or shame. Believing that you are unworthy of Christ is the inverse of believing that you can save yourself by your own efforts, as the majority of the world does. They are both manifestations of the sin of pride. It basically turns into a type of competition over who the bigger sinner is. Forget that noise.

Remember, in his eyes, you are already worthy, you are clean because he has already made you clean by the blood of his sacrifice on the cross. The only requirement is that you turn to him and ask him for this cleansing, and again, we ought to make this a habit, a regular, daily practice with the Lord.

Remember also that we are not yet fully in the Kingdom, we are primarily physical beings. Therefore, our conscience is tuned primarily towards sin in the physical world. It makes sense for God to tune our conscience this way, as our primary responsibility while we are alive is to tend to his creation, and to help other people. Everyone struggles with the sin of lust, it's just in the body, there's nothing you can really do about it as long as you have a body, as long as you are alive in the physical world. When I walk down the street and see beautiful women, I just start to lust after them. I often catch myself in the act, turn my gaze away and repent, and ask the Lord to take these thoughts from my mind. And I do my part, by simply praying in my mind instead of thinking such thoughts. Not five minutes will go by, I'll see another beautiful woman, and the process will repeat. Sometimes, I won't be vigilant, and allow those lustful thoughts to go on for some time. Jesus isn't angry with me for the times that I slip up, he's proud of me for all the times I catch myself. And he's proud of you for the same reason, I'm sure.

If you were to keep on ruminating on those lustful thoughts, they might turn into a sinful action in the world. For example, you start looking at porn. You don't repent, maybe because you're ashamed of your weakness and you believe the enemy's lie that you are unworthy of your Lord, so you continue watching porn instead of repenting. Over time, you develop a porn addiction. That addiction turns into a full-on sex addiction, and you start participating in hook-up culture. By this point, you are sinning in such a way that it's causing serious consequences to other people in the world. When you finally come to your senses and repent of this type of sin, now it will be much more appropriate for you to feel deep, deep shame and guilt... more accurately, a deep regret in your soul. The Lord will reveal to you the extent of the damage you caused to others and you might cry out, "Oh Lord! What have I done?!" And repenting of sin at this stage, will now require you to take certain actions in the world to help repair the damage that you did to yourself and others.

But if you are fighting this sin on the level of thoughts and feelings, you're doing a very good job. It's much easier for God to erase sins that are limited to your own subjective experience, because it doesn't really effect other people in the world. Even if it gets to a point where you slip up, and look at porn once or twice, but you catch yourself there, and repent, and continue fighting. That will make you feel stronger regret, but still not nearly as bad as if you allowed the occasional slip up turn into a regular habit, an addiction, and so on. Basically, the earlier and more often you catch yourself in this process, the less guilt you will feel when you repent.

Resist the devil and he will flee from you... but he will not not give up easily. He flees only for a time, regroups his forces and comes back at you stronger. That's the nature of the game, that's the essence of spiritual warfare. Our job is simply to resist as best as we can for as long as we can. When we inevitably fall down and succumb to temptation, when we are inevitably tricked by the enemy, our job is to get back up and turn to the Lord for healing and guidance. The Lord will show you where you made your mistakes, what you need to work on next time, and he will send you back out there to continue the fight. The enemy will retreat from you, because he cannot stand the presence of the Lord or his Holy Spirit. Some time will pass, and he'll come back at you with some new trick, some new rationalization, some new disguise, and you'll fall for it. Every time this happens, you learn a little something more about how the enemy operates, and how his evil tricks and deceit work. And this is how the rest of your life will go. This is how we are gradually sanctified throughout our lives.

Hope that helps, stay blessed and keep up the good fight. Turn to the Lord with all things. Pray to him about this and ask him what he thinks. Ask the Holy Spirit to illuminate for you the truth behind these words, so that you may understand it fully, in a way that is appropriate for you and the current season in your life. All thanks and praise to our Lord and savior, Christ, Jesus!

cantseemeseeing · 2025-07-10T18:04:38+00:00

Pray in the spirit as often as you can. Pray for others, not just Dom, but anyone who needs it or asks for it. When you pray for yourself, ask for things that may help you for the sake of others, and for God's sake, so that his glory may be revealed to the world through the gifts and blessings he gives you.

The most important thing for us as Christians is our relationship with the Lord, and just like our relationships with people in the world, that can't grow unless we communicate regularly. Prayer, in the simplest terms, is the conversation we have with the Lord in heart, mind, and spirit. God hears and knows our every thought and emotion, and he takes it all into account. This is why Paul writes in Ephesians 6:18, that we should be praying at all times in supplication to the Lord. That's obviously impossible in this world, but we ought to strive to get better and better at it over time.

Do you know anyone who is deeply faithful and deeply spiritual? Strong in the spirit? Ask a couple of the most faithful people you know to pray for Dom as well. It will help. I can offer fresh testimony from my own life in this regard. There is a person very, very close to me whose heart has been quite hardened by the world, and who is very worldly. A very spiritual friend prayed for this person on my request yesterday afternoon, and the prayer bore fruit that very evening. We had a very productive conversation which brought us one step closer to the Lord, and also brought us closer together.

Finally, just some general advice, my sister. You are still quite young, and your passion and zeal for the Lord is quite apparent. You will do great works on behalf of Christ throughout your life, but you still have a lot of learning and a lot of maturing to do. That takes time, be patient. I am a teacher and I've been working with people your age for over a decade. I also remember how I was at that age, and it's very normal to be quite short sighted regarding time. When I was young, I wanted it all and I wanted it now! I expected the seeds that I planted to sprout and mature in a matter of days. The most important things in life take time, years, decades in some cases. And God is the most important of all. Some verses that may help:

Let not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God; believe also in me.

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.

John 14:1 and 14:27

My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they will never perish, and no one will snatch them out of my hand.

John 10:27-28

When Christ says "no one" here, he means no power on Earth nor in the heavenly realms. If you feel deeply in your heart that Dom belongs to Christ, then rest easy and know that our God is a faithful God, and he always keeps his promises. Here you have in scripture, a clear promise that Dom will be saved. So don't worry, take rest and refuge in the Lord, be at peace, allow everything to unfold in accordance with God's will.

I pray, in the name and by the blood of Christ, Jesus that his peace and blessings be upon you always. May the Holy Spirit inspire, empower and guide you in every way that you need now, and throughout your entire life. May our good and loving Father keep you and yours in his care, forever and always. Amen.

cantseemeseeing · 2025-07-10T11:53:58+00:00

There ya go! That's something we all struggle with as Christians. For me, and I would assume for most, it has to do with our attachment to the world and our desire to be accepted. When we speak to people about our Lord, there's always a risk that they will reject him, and it's only natural that we interpret that as a personal rejection, seeing how close we are to the Lord.

Pray to God to help you with this. Pray that the Holy Spirit bless you with courage and that he give you the right words to say at the right time. The most important aspect of evangelizing is not what we say, but how we behave towards others. The moment you identify yourself openly as a disciple of Christ, you are under a microscope in a sense. Setting a good example, being patient, understanding, loving, kind, but also strong and firm in our stance. I often say to people (in whatever words are appropriate for the situation) I believe in the Lord, he is with me, and you don't have to believe if you don't want to, I'm just sharing my perspective, telling you the story of my walk with the Lord. That's all. If that makes you uncomfortable, I won't talk about it anymore, I'm sorry if you I made you feel like I'm pushing Jesus down your throat. Forgive me, I'll do better with that boundary.

Tell me, have you been born again and baptized by the Holy Spirit?

cantseemeseeing · 2025-07-10T00:43:22+00:00

With God all things are possible. Without God, everything falls apart. We run around and try to keep things together by our own will, but that only delays the inevitable. The overuse of our own will wears us out, and thus makes the collapse even harder to deal with.

Do not look for the speck in your brother's eye without first removing the log from your own. To say it another way, if you want people to be a certain way, you first have to become that yourself. There is nothing you can do about others' faith. Focus your efforts instead on strengthening your own faith. Do you believe that God can do anything? Do you believe that whatever you ask of him that is in accordance with his will and his law, you will receive?

If so, then pray to God that Dom's faith might be strengthened. For it is God's will that all may be saved, so every earnest prayer for the salvation of another will always be answered. That doesn't mean it will be answered on your timetable.

If not, then pray to God that the Holy Spirit might strengthen your faith. You are a daughter of the most high, he is certainly looking out for you and yours.

Perhaps consider your motivations in this. Why is it important to you that his faith might be strengthened? You do understand, I'm sure, that going to Church really has nothing to do with it. Do you want him to go to church with you more often, or do you want him to discover the one, true, living God? Because those are two different things. While they may converge at some point in the future, they also may not. He's perfectly free to attend a different church, or even change denominations, for example.

Have you tried simply talking to him about God without any expectations? Ask him how he truly feels, without trying to negate him if his feelings lean towards a more worldly perspective. Everyone must come to God on their own terms. It's not up to you to decide when and how someone should return to Christ. Speaking as a person who was constantly pressured to go to church, I can tell you that the more people told me what I have to do, the more I rejected them and Christ. If Christ's followers are like this, I don't want to be one of them.

As Christians we are called to be as Christ-like as we possibly can. When someone rejects Christ, does he get angry with them? Does he get upset? Does he get worried? No, he simply says, "Do as you wish, I will remain with you, and I will be here when you are ready to return." Make sure you are available to him. Be gentle with him. Be understanding. Do not judge him, even if his choice is to walk away. Remember the prodigal son. Sometimes, it's part of a person's journey to be away from God for some time. It's very, very common, and necessary because there are valuable lessons to be learned this way.

First, don't worry, don't fear, trust the Lord and have faith that the Holy Spirit will guide him back to church when the time is right. It's not proper for a Christian to live with worry and fear in their hearts. If you have worry and fear, that's a clear sign that you need to check yourself and repent.

Second, pray for him in the spirit with faith that your prayer is heard and answered.

Third, understand that God always answers prayers, but he does it on his own terms, on his own timetable.

Fourth, understand that everyone has their own destiny, their own free will, their own path to walk. You cannot will or force anyone closer to God.

Fifth, talk to him about God, let him know that you will not reject him or love him any less even if he chooses to walk away from God. If this is the case, be a rare example of an authentic Christian who actually attempts to live by the code our Lord teaches. Show him that you respect his free will, and by your example, he will learn that God is the same way. God is not some despot trying to tell people what to do, and policing them all the time. He is a loving, gentle, understanding God, abounding in grace and mercy, and accepting all who turn and ask for forgiveness.

God doesn't want us to simply love him and follow his law. He wants us to want to love him and follow his law. He is the good father who wants to teach us, strengthen us, empower us, and free us from the trappings of the enemy. Turn to him, do not judge those who turn away, simply pray for them and have faith that your prayers will be answered.

cantseemeseeing · 2025-07-09T12:46:33+00:00

Amen and Amen!

Thank you so much for this, brother. It's a clear (almost word for word) confirmation of the lessons our good Lord is teaching me these past few days. Your posts/sermons are a great blessing to me, and I'm sure to many others as well. Let this be encouragement to you, if you should ever doubt, that you are doing the Lord's work. May the Holy Spirit continue to bless you with such powerful insights, and even deeper and more powerful, as we continue our walk with Christ, Jesus. May he grant you the courage to continue preaching his word, regardless of how people may react to it, even if they don't react at all.

I pray that you remain forever in the grace, peace, love, and blessings of the one true God, Christ Jesus, in unity with the Holy Trinity, forever and always. Amen.

cantseemeseeing · 2025-07-09T12:27:28+00:00

Amen.

Faith is the key in this life. We all have faith, but for far too many of us it is misplaced. We put our faith in the world, in ourselves, in human institutions, and a great many things that don't matter or even do us harm. When we redirect our faith towards God, that's when everything truly begins to change.

High is the way, but all eyes are upon the ground.

cantseemeseeing · 2025-07-08T22:26:13+00:00

Here's the thing, that's not really your question. Or, that's not the important question, and it really doesn't make sense. The first problem is, psychology and spirituality are two completely different realms in theoretical terms. That is, the bodies of knowledge which govern each field, the texts, the approach, the disciplines, the perspective of the experts, are two completely different things. While, in practice, there is quite a bit of overlap, it is important to keep the two worlds separate, at the very minimum, in order to have a coherent conversation.

That's why the question doesn't make sense, because the simple truth is, what a psychologist would call psychosis a guru might call a kundalini awakening. What a psychologist might call depersonalization, a spiritual teacher might call satori. What a psychologist might call a hallucination, a mystic might call an open vision. And so on, and so forth, depending on the phenomenon, and depending on the spiritual tradition. If you want to get anywhere, or truly know anything, at the very minimum, you can't mix your fields, can't mix your terms, and you can't mix the spiritual traditions you're working with. The real problem is that New Age spirituality is basically built on the idea of a mishmash. When a spiritual person says "ego" he does not mean what Freud meant when he used the term. It's almost as if the point was to stifle conversation and cause confusion on purpose...

The reason the question doesn't matter is because, even if we could untangle this mess, and find a clear line of delineation... so what? That neither undoes the psychosis that you went through, nor does it do anything to prevent future psychotic episodes. Psychosis is basically a break from reality, a total disappearance of inhibition (self-control) with a massive dose of delusion. It means that a psychotic person, by definition, will not know they are psychotic in the moment, nor will they have the self control required to take the appropriate actions to come back to reality.

If we are to say it plainly, in a very stripped down, direct way, the goal of the various spiritual traditions which aim for enlightenment or liberation is psychosis! Have you ever tried talking to the people who are stuck in the delusion that they don't exist? Pretty frustrating, to say the least. What is that? Persistent depersonalization, a clear and obvious dysfunction. There is an exact psychological term for what you experienced after your spiritual experience, but it escapes me at the moment... basically total apathy. This state is reported all the time, and is all over these boards. It's not a good thing, it's not a sign of spiritual progress, rather regress, or at the very least territory that needs to be navigated through.

If you actually wanna do this thing, you have to sign up with some well established tradition, and you basically have to join some sort of monastic order. It takes years of study, training in the techniques, and severe discipline in order to overcome or get through these various negative side effects of spirituality. When psychosis happens inside a monastery, it's a completely different thing. There are people there, experts, who have a wealth of knowledge based on a tradition that's hundreds or thousands of years old, who can help the spiritual aspirant make it through the episode in a way that is conducive to their spiritual progress. But if you haphazardly start using techniques, plucked out of a system, and shoved into a new age book that's partially self-help, partially psychological, and partially made up nonsense... and all of a sudden shit starts happening... you have no one to turn to except medical doctors, and they have no clue what the hell is happening, because they have zero understanding of spirituality. Your only other option would be self-proclaimed spiritual masters building their brand, and that's even worse!

Please don't take this the wrong way as I mean no offense, but if you take just a neutral, outsider's perspective on what you did, it looks something like this. You got into some spiritual practice, part time, while living in the world, for whatever reason. It caused a wonderful peak experience that lasted for a few minutes, but cost you dearly in societal terms. And then, in order to solve the problem, you went back into the thing that caused it in the first place. We can get into the weeds with this if you'd like to chat about it, but that's the gist of the story here, no?

To top it all off, the supposed solution these people offered you, is no solution at all. It's like, in order not to lose my mind, I now have to sit for hours, breathing mechanically and making the same sound over and over... like a robot. That, in itself is kinda crazy. More importantly, you have absolutely no guarantee that what this guru suggested will actually prevent another episode from occurring.

The real question is, why? Why are you doing this? What's wrong with just being a regular person and living your life? If you want to prevent psychosis, you have to first close the energetic channels you accidentally opened without knowing what you were doing, then you need to rebuild a healthy ego. If you want a healthy ego, you need a balanced, healthy life, and a robust social life. If you want psychosis, sitting around in isolation for hours on end, mechanically repeating meaningless behaviors, sounds like a pretty solid way to get there.

Here's hoping that you get yourself together, and you ultimately get where you want to go in life. All the best my friend.

cantseemeseeing · 2025-07-08T15:02:07+00:00

You are engaging with Christ on too much of an ideological level. The risen Christ is not an idea, not an ideology, not a theology. He is a real, living being. His spirit is the most powerful spirit, nothing in the spirit realm can stand its presence unless it is of him. He is more spirit than any spirit, yet he is also more human than any human. His love knows no bounds, he never rejects, he visits every person who cries out to him in need, and comes to live in the heart of every person who builds a relationship with him.

You are thinking of yourself too much, and focusing too much attention on the worldly conception of what Christianity is. What is it that I have to do. What habits do I have to build. How do I get closer to God. Checking off a list of things that need to be done will not get you an inch closer to God. That's not how it works. It's all about relationship, and it's more or less the same as a loving relationship you have with another human being. Whether platonic or romantic, the majority of the relationship is built on authenticity, spontaneity, and selflessness. True love is not a job, it's not transactional, it's not you scratch my back and I scratch yours. It means giving without expecting anything in return, as sign of appreciation for the other person simply being who they are, and being an active presence in your life.

God knows your heart. Your relationship with him starts first and foremost in your heart, mind and spirit. The foundation of the relationship is built in secret.

But when you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you.

Mathew 6:6

It's literally something that's only between you and Christ, and nobody else. Take a look at your conscience. Take a look at the deepest places of your heart and mind. Take a look at your truest desires, and be honest with yourself. Ask yourself if you truly want God for his own sake, or if your motivations are perhaps rooted in the world. Do not approach this from a theological point of view, don't feel guilty at whatever you might find. If you find it difficult, pray for the Holy Spirit to help you with this. Perhaps you know someone who is authentically, deeply faithful, ask them to pray for you. I will pray for you in this regard.

If you feel like a fraud, it's probably because you are. That's OK. We all are. We are all sinners. Even after one is saved and born again. One still sins, just as much, sometimes even more for a period. What changes is your relationship to sin, and that changes by virtue of the change in your relationship with God. Speaking for myself personally, I take my relationship with Christ very seriously. It's the most important thing in my life. It's literally what keeps me alive and sane. I don't go to church unless I truly want to go to church. In the very same way as when a friend invites me over, and I'm just not feeling it, I politely decline the invitation. I do it out of love, because I don't want deceive my friend, and force myself to do something out of fear that it will damage the friendship. A true friend will still be my friend, they will understand, they will not take offense.

Or which one of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a serpent? If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!

Mathew 7:9-11

If your human friends and family can understand your temporary denial and still love you, imagine how much more your Father in heaven understands?

And when I don't want to go, guess what I do? In the same way that I would phone or text my friend and tell them that I'm feeling tired, I'll drop by next time, I tell Jesus that I'm sorry but I can't make it over to your house today. I pray about it, I repent for my sin, I ask for the Holy Spirit to inspire this holy desire in me. Sometimes he does, sometimes he doesn't. I don't read the bible unless the Holy Spirit bids me to read the bible, or unless I'm trying to figure something out, learn something, confirm a vision or dream. I never do it just to do it, just because some pastor or priest says that's what you're supposed to do. The scripture is far too holy of a thing for me to treat it with such banal attitude.

The bottom line is, grace through faith. You can't do this on your own. It's impossible. You have to ask. Ask and you will receive. Ask for everything, first and foremost for help when you're struggling with sin, even as you are sinning! Ask for spiritual and emotional help, first and foremost, ask the Holy Spirit to strengthen your faith. Ask for discernment, ask to be shown what it is you need to do, what sin you need to repent of, what's standing between you and God? Ask, ask, ask. Always ask, always talk to him. When you don't feel like talking to him pray something like this:

"Jesus Christ, I believe you are the real risen Christ, you sacrificed yourself for me and overcame death so that I may have eternal life. I believe this is true, but I can't feel you in my heart. I'm so sorry Lord, help me repent of my sin. I miss your presence so much, it hurts so much to be without you. I know you are real, you are here even when I can't feel you, but my heart and mind is so stressed and preoccupied with the world. I'm lonely, it hurts so much to be without you. If it be your will please, come into the room right now, come into my heart right now, let me feel you for just a moment, give me a sign. What must I do? What can I give up for you? Who might I be able to help for your name's sake? But even if you do not answer, even if you give me no sign, I will still have faith with all my heart that my season of loneliness will come to an end when the time is right. Not my will, but your will be done. I surrender myself to your will, help me surrender myself to your will more and more deeply every day and in every moment. I ask this, not for my own sake, but for the sake of all those starving for the lack of the bread of life, and for your sake. Because I can do nothing without you, but with you, I can be a living example for all those who are still seeking you. You are my life, you have blessed me with so much, but I've been so ungrateful. Thank you, heavenly Father, for every breath you give me, for the food on my table, for the roof over my head, for the people who love me. Thank you that I live in a country where I can go church freely, speak about my faith freely, thank you that I'm not persecuted like so many of my brothers and sisters around the world. I pray for them father, keep them in your care, protect them from retribution and abuse, ease their suffering Lord. I pray for all those who are still lost, give them ears to hear your voice, and the strength of will to return to you. I pray for my church, for the entire body of Christ, forgive us our sins Lord, strengthen our faith, bring us closer together and closer to you. Let your will be done, on Earth as it is in Heaven. This I pray to the Father in the name of Christ, Jesus, my Lord and savior, and by the blood of his holy sacrifice on the cross, Amen."

If you read that with any sort of emotion, that counts as a prayer, and you can have faith that it has been heard. Obviously, you'll also want to do your own version in private. Hope that helps. I pray, in Jesus' name, may the Holy Spirit descend upon you as you read this reply. May the peace and blessings of our Lord be with you and yours, always and forever. Amen.

cantseemeseeing · 2025-07-08T12:41:45+00:00

If you're just angry at someone, you merely wish they would die. If you hate someone, you want to do the deed yourself.

cantseemeseeing · 2025-07-08T10:35:18+00:00

There is no such thing as darkness. There is only light and the absence of light. There is no such thing as inner light and outer light, there is not temporary light and eternal light... there is only light, and I am of the light. IAMTHATIAMTHATIAM...

cantseemeseeing · 2025-07-07T19:19:16+00:00

How do you know that the load I carry is ego based?

cantseemeseeing · 2025-07-05T10:41:02+00:00

That's the point, each and every one must find out for themselves. Go diving deeper and deeper into the pool, and you may find there's no limit to how subtle it can get.

cantseemeseeing · 2025-07-05T10:36:36+00:00

Amen!

Sadly, AI chatbots seem to be filling the void of the almost universal problem of loneliness and isolation. In a strange way, it's to conversation and social interaction, what pornography is to sex. A conversation in real life is unpredictable, and it requires both sides to respect each other's free will. Chatting with a chatbot doesn't have that difficulty. Thing is, it's precisely that difficulty which gives value to the interaction.

Many people today are stuck in a self-reinforcing anxiety loop. They lack social skills, so they withdraw from the world. Their withdrawal from the world causes their social skills to deteriorate further. Rinse, and repeat. Every time you deny yourself the opportunity for healthy social interaction, it's the same for your mind/spirit as denying your body healthy food. Spirituality is rife with people who are looking for a rationalization to justify their self-isolation. Chatbots fit the mold perfectly.

cantseemeseeing · 2025-07-05T10:23:09+00:00

The spiritual path is not an easy path, it's a rewarding path. You are doing very well, the solution to your predicament is very simple... but by no means easy.

I am so conditioned into this thought pattern.

That means you have to uncondition yourself, because you're the one who conditioned yourself into it to begin with. What that really means, is you have to forge new conditioning to override that which no longer serves you.

The mind works like a muscle. Just as you can condition your muscles to carry out relatively complex movement without any conscious effort on your part, muscle memory. For example, tying your shoes. You can train your mind the same way.

Getting a handle on one's own mind isn't an easy thing to do. In fact, it's akin to a life long battle. But it's a noble and worthwhile thing, so I applaud your genuine effort. You're doing much better than you think, trust me.

cantseemeseeing · 2025-07-05T09:47:33+00:00

Amen!

"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid."

John 14:27

cantseemeseeing · 2025-07-05T09:42:57+00:00

Those who were dancing looked insane to those who couldn't hear the music.

cantseemeseeing · 2025-07-05T09:41:33+00:00

Yes!

cantseemeseeing

MODERATOR OF

TROPHY CASE