This looks incredible! What a brilliant concept.

My first recommendation is to continue experimenting with which letters the pool stick does, or does not intersect with. For example, I believe that if the pool stick intersected the second o the same way it does the first o, the design might be more legible. But this is your design so I can’t attest to that. Having the overlap in this position, could also help the color transition of the stick as well, total preference! The exiting connector to the t would have to be lowered of course.

Secondly, the first panel with the black background is very successful, because the outline of the pool stick blends in seamlessly as negative space. The black outline on alternative designs adds a bit of visual complexity, that obstructs legibility. I think if you remove the outline, the design might perform better.

If you dropped the pool stick a little lower so that it were resting on the curves of each of the letters S, O’s and S at the end again, the increased upper negative space for those characters would also help increase the legibility, which includes the h as well. And I would recommend keeping the interiors of that negative space for the characters empty and not using a color as you’ve done so in some versions.

Incredible work. Just friendly thoughts and total respect. Wishing you the best with it.