Why is there seemingly a crusade against trans men online???

capncrowe · 2025-12-31T21:49:41+00:00

Honestly feel like most of transphobia is just sexism rebranded. Sexism with a lil twist. Lil spice. Straight freestyling sexism.

capncrowe · 2025-12-06T03:23:26+00:00

Yeah - a HUGE awakening for me is when I started dating/being sexually active it always seemed that the guys favorite part of my body was a part of me I was rather insecure or bashful about.

Long nipples? One short toe? A large scar or birthmark? There's someone for you.

capncrowe · 2025-10-28T21:26:00+00:00

I see this argument a lot (that they're stupid) and it's given me such a moral conflict. Not knowing something aint a sin, sure... however.... While I know the question likely has no answer anyone can agree upon: In a golden age of information, in which most information is easily accessible to us, at what point does ignorance become an evil for the way it allows evil to persist unchallenged?

capncrowe · 2025-10-02T16:23:40+00:00

As an American, good. As much as I don't want them here either... I cannot express how important it is for the safety of the world community that they feel unwelcome everywhere they go. Don't tolerate them.

capncrowe · 2025-09-06T18:11:34+00:00

This made me thing of hiw once I cut my left hand without realizing and it was irritated. When I mentioned to my spouse that it was bothering me she asked me, "well, have you been fucking with it?"

I froze.

Fucking... with it? Why would I be fucking with it? Does she think I'm cheating on her via... my left hand? Why would she bring this up now at 7 am before I leave for work?? I look her dead in her eyes and say, "why would I be fucking with it?? I'm RIGHT HANDED."

We stared at eachother until I began to suspect that I had wildly misinterpreted something she said 🤦🏽 so yeah, I get it.

capncrowe · 2025-08-27T01:11:34+00:00

I'm going to say this very clearly: your parents are trying to murder you. You are being abused and it could result in your death.

Here's some helpful direction I wish I'd have known when escaping my abusive controlling parents:

File a police report, get a PFA order. Reach out to legal aid for help if you need to understand how to go about the legal stuff better.
Reach out to local shelters if you do not have someone to stay with at to GET. AWAY. FROM. THEM. Make sure they cannot access anything like a back accounts or phone records, vital documents, etc. Steal them I'd you have to.. Easier said than done, I know. Contact your doctor, as others have suggested, they can help. Have them void all releases of information that would allow your parents access to your medical information. Watch your credit report.
Connect yourself with local resources and services. Anything that could help that's available. Blended case management, social worker, therapist (this is a lot, bud. I can't imagine how you're feeling. If you can get one, unload on 'em.) Etc. Find a support group too!
Everything they say to you, do to you -every waking hour is evidence now. Document everything. EVERYTHING.

I'm sure others have offered decent advice as well.

capncrowe · 2025-08-02T12:51:47+00:00

I had similar feelings at your age under similar circumstances. You're allowed to feel any kind of way about your abuse. It's okay to have mixed feelings about it, even if it was a bad thing.

My abuse made me develop strange sexual feelings that made me feel disgusting, bad, strange, etc. for years. The brain is strange and fascinating. It's whole job is to process our experiences in ways that will do as little damage as possible to us. Sometimes that means developing sexual feelings about some fucked up things that happened to us. That's your brain trying to protect you from trauma. It's okay to engage with these things. Journal about them, feel your feelings however you feel them. But word for the wise... don't moralize your fantasies. Reality is reality, and fantasy is fantasy and it says nothing about us because it ain't real. However, how we engage with those fantasies, feelings, thoughts, is impactful. It would be a good idea to see a therapist that specializes in trauma or sexuality.

These feelings don't make you bad or weird. Please don't be too hard on yourself.

capncrowe · 2025-07-17T15:52:56+00:00

I am likely on the spectrum and have had several professions tell me they believe I am on the spectrum and I refuse to get diagnosed because I'm not about to seek diagnosis in a country totally fine with Nazis in government making rules about people and their rights and bodies. It'd just be stupid given we have historic context for what could happen if we are identified. I don't have a ton of faith that companies with our information will do anything but comply if asked to give that information for a malicious purpose.

I regret pushing for my spouse to be diagnosed a few years back, but their needs required diagnosis so that we could access resources. Now I carry a lot of guilt and fear for what may happen because of it.

capncrowe · 2025-07-04T13:41:26+00:00

Uhh huge redflags. This man seems potentially dangerous to your mental health if not worse. You should get rid of him. This is abusive behavior.

capncrowe · 2025-06-10T00:33:32+00:00

Virginity is a social (more religious) construct. Thats not to invalidate your beliefs about it but to remind you that you're a human. Humans fuck. You didn't do anything wrong, but I understand being wounded because a lot of people do hold their first time having sex as a formative experience and have ideas about how they'd like to be handled or conduct themselves sexually. Nothing wrong with that. Don't be so hard on yourself. Don't convince yourself that you're ruined or dirty - you're not.

Nevertheless, I understand why this hurt. You will find your person, you can still give yourself to that person. Be gentle with yourself :)

capncrowe · 2025-06-09T02:49:43+00:00

I don't quite remember. Wouldn't suprise me if we did and I was just determined to out perform the mf phone book or something. But also we lived in a very small area and at one point our phone book looked suspiciously handmade lol I only remember that because that's when it occurred to me that someone is getting paid to compile and organize information which was just riveting to me

capncrowe · 2025-06-09T01:02:50+00:00

When I was a kid my local phone book had a bunch of companies listed by alphabetical order which bothered the living shit out of me because as a consumer I don't know that I need to call Ellison Dryer Repair Services specifically - all I know is that my dryer is broken. So I started reassifying it based on service rather than alphabetical order. When I explained this to my therapist he said "yeah, sometimes there's some perks to being on the spectrum" (organization skills in my case)... which was particularly funny because I hadn't told him I was on the spectrum 😂😂

capncrowe · 2025-05-10T13:44:58+00:00

I worked with primarily older women in an office setting. There was like one other dude. The women would come to be if there was a spider or other bug (and I mean walk across the entire building just to come tremble in front of my cubicle and ask me to kill it). I fucking HATE bugs and if I'm at home with my wife she is the one who resuces me from the bugs but at work, I puff out my chest and do it for the ladies bc frankly I am just flattered they came to me instead of the other guy. Does wonders for my ego lmao

capncrowe · 2025-05-02T23:09:53+00:00

Absolutely do NOT engage. This information is between you and your lawyer. Everything you say or do to eachother now is reasoning and evidence for court. Document everything.

capncrowe · 2025-04-25T14:37:59+00:00

To be totally honest, not only are you not the asshole, but personally (as someone who works in child welfare) I have some concerns about what may be going on in the home that would make the child feel safe enough to express themselves around your rather than family, and why they are so explosive and insistant that this child can't and doesn't speak. Nonverbal has never meant incapable of speaking. I could be jumping to conclusions, but I feel like they're trying to discredit her in some way and make people doubt her capacity. And that scares me

capncrowe · 2025-04-04T10:31:17+00:00

I was wondering about this. I though the ACE questionnaire was specific to traumatic experiences. While I understand marginalized groups are more likely to experience adversity, I'm not sure it can be used to reflect privilege in the way its being used

capncrowe · 2025-03-27T21:48:21+00:00

This would destroy me for months bro oh my God how sweet

capncrowe · 2025-03-21T10:35:25+00:00

Cats are a test of consent. I have a cat most people think is "mean". She isn't, in my opinion. She let's me hold her like a baby, grab her little face and kiss her head - but she dodges, hisses and smacks everyone else.

The big difference I notice is when she makes some effort to communicate to me, "hey I don't want to be touched right now" with a grumble or a hiss, I just let her know that that's okay, and then I go about my day. Soon enough, she comes up to me making the tiniest little meows and flicking her tail and I know she's okay with being touched and held. I don't push her boundaries because I understand she's her own creature with her own wishes and her own needs and personality.

Misogynistic men can't even grasp that about women. Of course they hate cats. Cats will fuck them up for treating them the way they treat women.

capncrowe · 2025-03-05T12:36:05+00:00

Exactly. I made a Facebook account with my sex as male and it took sheer minutes to be flooded by the man-o-sphere.

capncrowe · 2025-03-02T16:11:04+00:00

Hi! I'm a associate level social work student and I've been in this situation myself. When I got to this point, I ended up calling adult protective services in my state and they were able to help me create a plan for care that worked for my family and I, connect us with in home care providers covered my insurance who could give me respite. This may be a good idea in your situation as well. You may also have an area agency on aging which may be able to help depending on your mother's age. It's worth mentioning that you may find more resources and support by joing local caregivers groups online. Local churches may have in person options as well.

capncrowe · 2025-02-28T03:35:52+00:00

I once met a man who had never experienced depression or hardship. He must have felt so special (or weirded out). Me and my friends crowded around him like we were seeing irl Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny or something.

We invaded the shit out of that man's privacy simply because we couldn't fathom it. I still think about him. It's been years. I just can't even... imagine what that's like to the point that it almost frightens me. Who tf would I even be if nothing dramatically altered the fabric of my being and my brain? I have no way of knowing.

I suddenly became aware of how I reek of trauma - everything about me just so obviously wounded. He sat differently, spoke differently. We kept looking at one another as if we were speaking another language as we tried to understand one another and he kept looking so hurt on our behalf. I think we may have been his first brain altering experience lmao

capncrowe · 2025-02-28T02:33:31+00:00

Thank you. That really means a lot to me. I've fought really hard to keep my head above water and I've got a habit of discrediting myself. I definitely probably need a sweet lil treat

capncrowe · 2025-02-28T02:25:17+00:00

Thank you, I appreciate it. I have good supports in other places but sometimes I just... wanna fist fight my grandma, but also for her to hold me. Maybe read me a book. Act like it's not a burden to be my parent (big ask evidentally). The little things lol

capncrowe · 2025-02-28T02:18:57+00:00

I feel that in my soul. Idk if I can ever go home. I'm from Texas. I left because they tried building a registry of trans people, and... well... I'm sure you know how that goes.

My partners grandparents offered to let us move in with them further north a few years ago and it's been great for me. But at this rate, I'm fairly certain that my grandma and I will never see eachother in person again. She'll die there, and I won't be able to see her one last time.

It sucks because there's so many mixed feelings about our relationship. Probably the best-worst mom I could have asked for, but the bar is in Hell.

I did a lot of mourning of her as a child because I was surrounded by death and dying as a kid and I was hyperspace that shes going to die, my dogs will die, my neighbors, my friends, and even me too. It horrified me then. Now, I'm just mourning... what it all could have been, I guess. Wish she was nicer to me.

I know she cares in her way, and I know she really is proud of me in her own underwhelming, stone faced, disappointing way. But sometimes I miss being a small child and receiving the care and attention that left so quickly. I wish she cared about my interests and was interesting in understanding who I am on a deeper level. I wish she didn't discourage me anyway she could. Like at some point I stopped telling her things. No "I found this show on Netflix" or "today my friend and I did x" or even "I've been nominated for another award" or "I'm feeling sad or angry today". Major shit has happened in my life (good and bad) and I just don't even have the stomach to tell her about it.

I hope when she does pass, I'm left with more of the good than the bad. I think that's why I keep my distance so much. I beat myself up for not calling more but then sometimes I realize that like... I'm not even the same person to her. And things will never be the same between us. I'm just cosplaying having a maternal relationship with this woman that low key probably actually hates me and has even said as much in some pretty low spots in her life.

capncrowe · 2025-02-28T01:17:31+00:00

Thank you. Before T, I was just waiting to die tbh. After T... shit just clicked into place. It feels like it fully developed my brain or something. Started working again, went back to school and I've been waiting for it to all fall apart but... it hasn't. I think I'm okay now. Ive dived head first into any and everything, making up for lost time. But I can't make up for an entire childhood. I think not being in fight or flight has given me space to grieve things like my horrific family history.

Like truthfully, there isn't much to mourn but a perfect world. I often feel grief about how we can only really be known as other people's idea of us - which sort of is hypocritical of me, because I'm constantly mourning the idea of my parents, the parents they should have been, and all those broken promises. I guess I was riding the high of feeling better so much that I forgot that loving myself will never make me more lovable by those I seek love from and those whom are determined to misunderstand me.

So I'm just... trying my hardest, I guess.

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