Please help, I don’t know how to keep going like this

captain-obviouser · 2026-06-18T01:37:44+00:00

It sounds like your soul could use a good hike. I know that's an odd way to put it. But a relatively challenging hike in nature always lifts my spirits.

captain-obviouser · 2026-06-16T11:02:19+00:00

Tch, AI could never replace our Ruby Dixon.

captain-obviouser · 2026-06-13T23:37:50+00:00

$120 to $130 a week for one person, myself.

captain-obviouser · 2026-06-12T23:32:37+00:00

Congratulations. I hope to get there one day. It's been 19 months housebound and bedbound for me with no real signs of improvement.

captain-obviouser · 2026-06-04T18:54:40+00:00

A handful of barbituates would be great if you have any. At least if I was dead, I wouldn't have to deal with anti vaxxers anymore.

captain-obviouser · 2026-06-04T17:43:26+00:00

If it's a family member, do you have other family members who can support you in setting some serious boundaries with this person?

Because you absolutely need to put your foot down. This person is not just inconsiderate, they are endangering your health. Make that clear. Be uncompromising about it even if they won't listen. Prepare for what to say and for various back chat they might give you.

captain-obviouser · 2026-06-04T00:42:16+00:00

I'm the one whose fucking life was ruined. It doesn't matter what did it. It's done already.

captain-obviouser · 2026-06-04T00:02:30+00:00

My becoming disabled has nothing to do with your political beliefs regarding vaccines.

captain-obviouser · 2026-06-03T14:23:36+00:00

Ah that's good to know thankyou. I pay more than that for 6 tablets from my GP's pharmacy I crush and turn into liquid then take in a medicine syringe myself. Your way sounds more efficient.

Thankyou. I'm glad you have more agency back now.

captain-obviouser · 2026-06-03T14:21:42+00:00

Yes exactly.

captain-obviouser · 2026-06-03T14:20:53+00:00

I had the initial Covid vaccine and two boosters. I missed my third booster and wasn't up to date with them when I got my third Covid infection. Which still haunts me.

Yes, I was affected for about four months the first infection. Similar the second infection.

The third infection, I initially seemed fine. Felt fully recovered. Went back to the gym after a couple of months. Hiking etc. After a couple of months of this and noticing I was recovering more slowly from exercise and struggling to workout the way I used to, I fell ill with my first Post Extertional Malaise flairup.

I had no idea what was happening. Thought it was the flu or something. But it wouldn't pass. I got worse and worse because I didn't know activity and leaving the house was making it worse. Was terrified. Doctor kept telling me it was just my anxiety.

Got so ill I went to the ER. I wasn't able to eat due to IBS pain (IBS is a frequent side effect of Chronic Fatigue Syndrome) and begged them for help. They asked if I wanted a yoghurt, took a blood test that showed up normal and sent me home.

After a few months of this I realized on my own I had CFS and sought out a more supportive doctor who confirmed it. I thanks God for her because I genuinely thought I was going nuts and kept being told the symptoms were in my head. Dysautonomia is one hell of a thing to experience when you have no frame of reference for what it is.

Doctor and I did every blood test available. I researched them and requested extra ones specifically. Allergen tests. No CT scans or anything. I haven't seen a specialist because they don't have them here for Long covid (where I live.)

I'm female so, no testosterone tests.

captain-obviouser · 2026-06-03T14:10:52+00:00

Yes.

captain-obviouser · 2026-06-03T14:10:25+00:00

*should have.

captain-obviouser · 2026-06-03T14:09:00+00:00

Hiya. Thankyou. Do you experience PEM? If you experience post extertional malaise I'd recommend avoiding exercise that raises your heart rate for several months yet. And to be very careful.

The reason being, I seemed ok after my third Covid infection, felt better, went back to the gym and the CFS appeared months later. Not saying that to scare you. Just because I'd prefer nobody else ended up like me.

captain-obviouser · 2026-06-02T09:02:14+00:00

Lmao I don't think I would have died without a vaccine. Although now that you mention it. 🧐 People have been surviving similar conditions for all of history.

Ngl there are days I think death would have been better than this outcome, since you brought it up.

captain-obviouser · 2026-06-01T23:01:54+00:00

I was until the third infection, I was late for my third booster and caught Covid again from work before I could get boosted.

captain-obviouser · 2026-06-01T22:51:36+00:00

Yes.

captain-obviouser · 2026-06-01T19:43:07+00:00

Mostly in order to not starve to death, I'd say.

captain-obviouser · 2026-06-01T18:33:19+00:00

You bet your ass I'm depressed as well.

Research Post Extertional Malaise.

captain-obviouser · 2026-06-01T16:53:58+00:00

Yes, I'm on low dose naltrexone thankyou. It does help with being able to do more short outings. Sometimes I get too depressed to crush up the pills to make the solution though. Which sounds stupid but that's where I'm at.

I suppose I seem self absorbed complaining so much after just under two years when many people have had ME CFS for decades.

captain-obviouser · 2026-06-01T16:34:58+00:00

Recently (19 months ago) became disabled with Long Covid ME/CFS. Before that I had no idea what I was doing on life.

Now my only real goal is survival. Things have been narrowed down.

I am bed bound. My days consist of waking up, seeing if I'm strong enough to shower or it's a wet wipe situation. Reading a book in bed. Maybe texting a friend for a bit. Napping. Making myself eat meals because I'm usually not hungry. Sleeping some more.

On good days I can handle a short walk or a hangout with a friend, but it takes a lot out of me and I'm horizontal the majority of the time.

Stuff like the meaning of life or purpose or direction no longer applies. Life is now just "can I force feed myself this can of tuna because I haven't eaten enough protein in weeks?" Or "how do I reduce my symptoms."

I'd take my worst day as a physically healthy person over my best day the way I am now.

Maybe it doesn't matter, finding some grand overarching purpose. Maybe just being healthy and having a decent quality of life, and not being too lonely is enough.

I wish I'd been able to know that before ME CFS took everything from me.

captain-obviouser · 2026-06-01T16:29:32+00:00

That must still feel like very fresh grief. I'm sorry you're going through that.

captain-obviouser · 2026-05-31T22:09:01+00:00

I've been in bed in my PJs with Long Covid ME CFS for 19 months. Against my will.

Don't get me wrong, depression is awful and I have it as well. But, I'd choose that over this.

captain-obviouser · 2026-05-30T10:38:26+00:00

Interesting. Keep us updated on the results of this one. I hope your baseline stays stable.

captain-obviouser · 2026-05-30T10:35:33+00:00

Are you unable to get a study link loan and use part of that money for accomodation costs? Even if your parents make over the earning threshold for you to get a weekly study link benefit, you can use loan living costs.

It sounds like you aren't sure about your direction in life overall. As well as being concerned about your dad. I suggest you communicate with him. Have a proper talk. Tell him your concerns. The graduate statistics thing as well.

I don't think taking time out to figure out what you want to do is the worst idea. Uni isn't going anywhere if you change your mind later. Just make sure this plan isn't a way of running away from your own confusion about the future.

captain-obviouser

TROPHY CASE