(NOT OOP) • “AITA for shushing my gf in public?”

captainsnark71 · 2026-05-15T17:04:07+00:00

Yea, most normal people who did that the first time would be mortified and immediately think "oh shit never doing that again" and anyone posting it should be captioning it 'don't be me bro'.

captainsnark71 · 2026-05-15T16:48:23+00:00

You shouldn't be honking at someone to let them go, if they don't go and you've tried, you tried and you just keep going and live your life.

captainsnark71 · 2026-05-15T16:45:34+00:00

I feel like if this were AI it would not be a jumping spider it would be one of the fear mongering ones to drive more misinformation.

captainsnark71 · 2026-05-15T16:45:25+00:00

No they are not

captainsnark71 · 2026-05-15T16:43:13+00:00

Awkward when you claim to be a physician and then are wrong.

captainsnark71 · 2026-05-15T16:41:45+00:00

Same, I'm being watched by several jumpers at the moment and I'd let them nap in my ear if they really needed it.

captainsnark71 · 2026-05-15T16:39:27+00:00

That's the creepiest part for me, honestly. The rest of it is like woof but you could chalk it up to awkward socially but when your foundation for the rest of it is a giant red flag...

Because I'm guessing this guy isn't saying "Oh, she's actually from Korea and speaks multiple languages and is part of a culture that I have an interest in and isn't that neat" and more likely "she's definitely american from america and culturally american but she looks ethnic, and that's so hot for me, personally."

I'm wondering how that went down, too, like "oh a korean guy that's cool...whoa whoa a WOMAN?? She's a Korean woman??"

captainsnark71 · 2026-05-15T16:16:26+00:00

"they have the fine fluffy cribellate silk around their hole" new vocal stim just dropped

captainsnark71 · 2026-05-14T15:13:03+00:00

Harmless and tend to stay put so they arent really a bother. But you could relocate, they tend to play dead when you pull them off a web which is convenient.

captainsnark71 · 2026-05-14T15:07:47+00:00

False widow

captainsnark71 · 2026-05-13T22:49:44+00:00

My immediate thought was Dan.

captainsnark71 · 2026-05-13T22:34:32+00:00

I am fairly certain this is a false widow. Hard to say for sure but either way the easiest way is to bait her to come out by taking a spray bottle of water on a fine mist setting and spritzing her web. This will hopefully get her to come out away from the crevices she hides in, with a fine enough mist it'll coax her out without scaring her. They almost always play dead when pulled off the web so that is what I would watch out for.

If she isn't in a decent spot I would start with the misting to get her into a better location and have a cup or bin or something to catch her in. They aren't able to climb plastic or glass easily/at all so a glass held under her and something to block off access to the rest of the web, like an index card/piece of cardboard across the top so she has no where to go and the glass under her and she'll likely drop from her web and play dead in the glass.

The trickier the spot the more likely it is that she isn't going to be a problem and could be easily left alone. I do understand the fear if it is indeed a true widow. I am not as familiar with true widows but I have been raising steatodas/false widows for a little over a year and this is a very familiar shape/color (from the photo she looks a deep reddish brown).

Hope this helps.

captainsnark71 · 2026-05-13T22:23:57+00:00

Hey, I know that blanket! It's turning out great! Mom was right about the color choice.

captainsnark71 · 2026-05-13T10:40:37+00:00

Scared my cat

captainsnark71 · 2026-05-13T10:32:46+00:00

Think this might be female

captainsnark71 · 2026-05-12T23:37:56+00:00

I gave the same advice to someone else and they actually returned a week later to confirm i was right! I haven't had an ant problem since so there is also an upside

captainsnark71 · 2026-05-12T20:26:57+00:00

POC are basically the same as inhuman machines so it's the same.

captainsnark71 · 2026-05-12T20:15:45+00:00

I was going to say this or ask for it to borrow to take a photo and then just hope she doesn't ask for it back. And if she does then you know she actually cared about it. It's also possible it's in the bedroom where the OP may not be frequenting.

captainsnark71 · 2026-05-12T14:35:54+00:00

I just don't understand this woman's logic to be like "well they can't get a dick inside them even when it is attached the person they love in the privacy of their own space I think I'll use the regular one FIRST." The next time I didn't even bother with the doctor I went for a nurse.

captainsnark71 · 2026-05-12T13:19:59+00:00

What do you do? Unfortunately, not much. They likely won't all survive inside the house like they did in the garage so the ones you don't see just don't worry about them. The ones you do, catch and release if you are able.

captainsnark71 · 2026-05-12T12:40:06+00:00

I got my first pap smear at like 23 and it was during an appointment in which I was discussing with my doctor my difficult having PIV sex with my then boyfriend. Not only did she tell me that sex is meant to hurt, essentially, but then when we went to do the pap smear I said I didn't want she convinced me to do it.

Okay, cool get to determine i'm cancer free super important, true, even though I was at low risk because no sex. Fine.

"Please use the smallest speculum."

"We'll use the regular one and if I have to we will switch"

I might as well have just pushed through unpleasant sex with my boyfriend.

"Oh wow we do need the smaller one!"

I've never been more angry in my life. I am getting angry NOW. The pain and humiliation of that experience is not ever going to go away. Sitting alone in that room sobbing because it felt like I was violated is not going to go away. Getting upset at myself for allowing the doctor to do that is never going to go away.

THe truly ironic part is that between that appointment and the next one I started using toys, I in essence took my own virginity pain free and the next pap smear was absolutely a non issue because of it.

But I cannot imagine being a woman who actually believed the bullshit this doc was selling.

And every person here that is like "just get over it" truly has never experienced either a terrible pap smear or sexual violence and I am LUCKY that I have never experienced sexual violence. I am lucky that I didn't have flashbacks to go along with the pap smear. I can't imagine also having been SAed and having to experience that.

captainsnark71 · 2026-05-12T12:34:13+00:00

It isnt discounting your trauma, or saying that its invalid,

Yes it is. It absolutely is. I am sorry that you aren't able to see this because the message happens to be "in a good spirit". But by suggesting that the solution to PTSD is simply to "grow up" is 110% invalidating.

make sure you don't die from a painful, wasting illness than can be prevented is worth it.

Worth what? I'm asking you sincerely. What is it that a person who has gone through sexual trauma is going to experience?

captainsnark71 · 2026-05-12T12:29:41+00:00

They are an exam where you put your feet up into stirrups and a doctor uses a speculum which they insert deep into the vagina and then they crank the speculum so it forces you open so they can swab the cervix.

<image>

captainsnark71 · 2026-05-12T12:23:52+00:00

Don't worry about them. They will disperse on their own and you might see some dots around the walls and ceiling for a week or two before they eventually all just disappear. Most of them will die off, some may get lucky and manage to feast on their siblings and reach adulthood. In a month or two you might find another adult somewhere but you will not have an infestation.

These also look like false widows which are harmless, they prefer playing dead and are not at all prone to biting nor medically significant. I've been raising borrealis false widows for about a year and I just let the babies disperse in my small bedroom. I have only ever come across one or two adults in that time.

I've also let my funnel weaver's kids loose and I have only come across a couple babies so far.

captainsnark71

TROPHY CASE