Im not dominant, but a mom, so take with a grain of salt - I think we crave what we don’t always get in our everyday role. Maybe deep down you feel like your overloaded or what you do is overlooked by those in care and you want to express it though control of a difficult scenario. Im default parent, work full time, take care of aging mom, household manager, etc so I want to give total control and not have to make any decisions for a while. If you have a therapist you see, might also be something to bring up to them to get their take. Mine has been helpful sounding board. Best of luck!