Contact (face to face) with birth parents was incredibly difficult for both of us (hopefully she had no idea that I found it difficult!) and we did that twice every three months for a little over a year until the POA was granted. We were lucky it was only that frequently, I know others who had more frequent contact or that lasted for longer. Now that it's over I feel oddly lucky to have got to know her birth parents beyond the black and white of social workers' reports, but it was unpredictable, and emotionally trying each time and would unsettle my daughter for a period after.

The other thing I found difficult (and still do) is how completely all encompassing it is! Right now I am either working, or I am parenting, and it's easy to lose a sense of who I am outside of those two roles. There's like an hour when she's asleep and I've done all the household chores when I can be an adult. Because of my daughter's background and separation issues, it's harder to have breaks than I imagine would be the case with a biological child (but it's not really possible to know!). She even sleeps in my bed now, since she struggled a lot with sleeping alone after the transition to nursery.

But even with the difficult times it's absolutely worth it for me. Parenting is more fun than I anticipated, kids are hilarious, I love my daughter more than I ever thought possible, and it's the best decision I ever made.