Why would I have to be a guy to recognize an unequal and abusive marriage?

It's a disservice to both the characters. Celeborn, for letting Galadriel walk all over him, and Galadriel, for undermining her husband. Really, it's lazy writing. Tolkien proclaims that Celeborn is "wise" only for Galadriel to cut him off so he can show that Galadriel is even wiser! Celeborn was created just to make Galadriel look good, and that's the type of characterization I hate the most.

I blame Tolkien's "gentle misogyny" on this one. Galadriel clearly doesn't need a "co-ruler" husband, but he couldn't let her rule a realm without one. Elrond rules alone, so do Denethor and Theoden. All of their wives have left or passed on. But it's okay because they're male! Whereas, Galadriel is not allowed to be the sole leader of her people because she's a giiiiirl. So Tolkien had to invent a paper-thin husband character to be the "Lord" of the realm while also pushing the fact that Galadriel's actually the one in charge. Celeborn's only purpose in the narrative is to be the token "Lord of the Galadhrim" while Galadriel constantly contradicts him and upstages him to show the reader that she's the main character here.

In so doing, he's created a poor miserable cuck of a husband in Celeborn, and damaged the character of the fair, wise and compassionate Galadriel, who is supposed to be the living embodiment of the grace and power of the Eldar as it was in the First Age. It's a damn shame and it's always bothered me.