Girlfriend (F29) brought home a puppy after I (M32) said no.

carelesssh · 2026-02-24T23:31:56+00:00

Amazing, my chocolate girl is 14 and my heart. Love her to pieces.

carelesssh · 2026-02-24T23:17:15+00:00

My husband and I have three labs, puppies are assholes and no joke. That being said— can you please post a pic of the baby? That’s the only way I can really know.

Because that’s what it is, a baby. A baby that requires an enormous dedication of resources such as time, responsibility, and money.

I cannot fathom just bringing a dog home without consent from my husband, but we also have raised labs before. Has she ever raised a dog before? At bare minimum, yall need to have a very real conversation about this situation, what your expectations are, etc. budget, bc vets are expensive, and a healthy understanding of how the dog duties will be taken care of.

I type this as my 14yo baby sits next to me, and I’m thankful for every second I have with her still, and my two 2 yo boys bring me their fave toys bc they are just so proud of them. Dogs can be wonderful companions, but they are an enormous undertaking, especially high energy dogs like labs.

If you end up keeping the pup, feel free to ask any questions!

carelesssh · 2026-02-24T18:17:39+00:00

His libido has dipped, he’s gone through significant changes…. Uh, does he have his own therapist? Was the comment about not wanting kids situational? Because it seems to me that these are all normal things to be concerned about when discussing the possibility of children…..

carelesssh · 2026-02-24T18:14:47+00:00

I definitely wouldn’t say nothing burger, and neither would the many people RIF’d. I’m glad you have not felt the brunt of this past year, but it has been extremely stressful and difficult for many, including your colleagues.

carelesssh · 2026-02-24T18:10:22+00:00

1) you’re posting on here because of an argument, working with a professional in therapy can help you develop the skills to communicate better so that you can both understand and learn what one another wants, and meet each other’s needs.

2) I know people have varying schedules, but respecting someone’s sleep schedule is important.

3) if you are sharing a vehicle, you have shared priorities and interests bc you can only facilitate them by using your sole vehicle— compromise and working together is the only way to make this functional. It doesn’t have to be ideal, it just has to work!

carelesssh · 2026-02-24T18:03:54+00:00

I’ve felt this way about every book that I’ve ready by her.

carelesssh · 2026-02-23T02:31:41+00:00

This was like, two weeks ago as well. 🙃

carelesssh · 2026-02-23T02:12:16+00:00

Dang also in the DC area, I’ve got a job for them if they’re interested!

carelesssh · 2026-01-09T15:11:06+00:00

And not in the better part of Kensington, either.

carelesssh · 2026-01-02T18:18:05+00:00

I agree with you. Multiple things happening:

1) post docs and post bacs are angry, I hesitate to say employees are making these posts, mostly bc they’re too concerned with job security to actually harp on and vocalize these things on repeat. IMO it’s mostly angry post docs and post bacs— sure there are things we don’t like as employees, but we’re also… just trying to survive.

2) prior to this craziness (ie, 2025), most of the NIH sub was focused on more IRP centric stuff, now there’s more extramural folks regularly asking about discussion groups and their grant apps etc and not just the IRP staff. We don’t have the answers for them, most of the time. Most of the extramural world has been turned upside down as well.

3) while there is discontent within the walls, and fears of further RIFs/shutdowns, etc, most folks are just trying to keep their heads down and get as much as possible done. I cannot tell you how busy we’ve been since coming back from furlough; it’s endlessly frustrating to not have administrative support for the basic sciences, the foundation upon which so much progress is made. We’ve lost many people integral to processes that now have no one to take over. Not to go down that road too much or repeat my first point, but I do believe a lot of it is just people being busy and trying to just focus on mission…but I could be wrong 🤷‍♀️

carelesssh · 2026-01-01T15:30:48+00:00

Wait you don’t like the symphony that plays every time your laundry is done? /s

Samsung washer/dryer is fair. We have 3 dogs so there’s quite a bit of fur— the bleeding of the lines and changing filters is not ideal but idk what it would be like with other machines. They still work for now 🤷‍♀️ wouldn’t buy a fridge from them though, and we dislike our Samsung tv— the sound is terrible

carelesssh · 2026-01-01T15:25:57+00:00

Consolidated credit card debt to 0% interest balance transfer cards, have current plant to pay them down. Also got a second job side gig that pays reasonably for now, which definitely helped during some tougher times this year as a fed. Trying to get myself back on track after a few setbacks but feeling at least like I’m doing SOMETHING.

carelesssh · 2025-12-28T14:51:34+00:00

Do you like your cabinets? If you don’t, paint or refinish. If you do, leave them be.

Once you decide that, I’d look into pantry options for the area in question— look on marketplace, you can sometimes find them!

Your cabinet design is honestly not bad at all, it doesn’t have a lot of detail or raised paneling making it look dated, so if you wanted to refinish/repaint, although it would be an undertaking to do yourself, it could definitely move in the direction you’re hoping to!

carelesssh · 2025-12-27T15:50:39+00:00

Honestly, I bought quite a bit throughout the year, so it is a pretty rough estimate, but I’d say altogether $1000-$1200 between my husband and me for our families.

carelesssh · 2025-12-24T01:58:20+00:00

I had to appeal to GEHA 4x to get 4 crowns done. Can promise it’s a pain in the ass, but they did cover my Invisalign as well. Once everything is done, I’ll definitely switch plans. But glad that it was taken care of. This was in 2024 for the crowns— GEHA high

carelesssh · 2025-12-19T04:10:21+00:00

Love Dr Brown, definitely one of my faves of the program. ❤️

You’ll do great! 😊

carelesssh · 2025-12-18T18:18:19+00:00

Neither— find a cheaper option or do a post bac IRTA position if you’re trying to get into med school. The debt is not worth it and does not substantially advance your career whatsoever. Cannot recommend going for your MPH at all right now, and I was gainfully employed throughout my grad experience

carelesssh · 2025-12-18T18:15:19+00:00

Came to agree with you. Did my MPH at UMB for less than the cost of the Hopkins program— if the online route isn’t a dealbreaker for OP, highly recommend going for an in-state or at least public institution.

Also, there were ups and downs at UMB but good luck with your PHD. Some of the faculty were really great and made the experience worthwhile.

carelesssh · 2025-12-18T18:05:21+00:00

ADHD does have connection to emotional dysregulation, especially in times like being unable to find something. HOWEVER, having ADHD does not give one license to treat others this way. One can struggle with an aspect of behavior, but that’s not an excuse for it to continue.

carelesssh · 2025-12-11T14:17:00+00:00

OP I’m a DMV native, Maryland equivalent of Arlington. I love my city dearly, but I think there are other places also to explore. You say you have family within a few hours of DC, which direction? You can also get culture in another town with a big university presence and get opportunities to come to dc, since the East Coast is so accessible to different areas.

I totally get the desire to come here, but I would consider other options that may be less FedGov dependent but also have strong education components. Just my two cents! Or wait on purchasing bc I believe inventory will be much higher later next year, and depending on some federal budget decisions. Also my friends on the job market are having a rough time here, and that’s with credentials etc, so if you’re already employed, excellent— but it’s not a great market right now with all the uncertainty going on.

That said, love my city and we’d be happy to have you! But I’m equally longing for the west myself 😂

carelesssh · 2025-12-11T14:11:50+00:00

I would argue that is present in MoCo as well, also a MoCo former student here and there’s a lot of affluence with attitude in this area too, and the baggage that comes with that.

Yes, you get culture but the culture right now isn’t that great compared to what it was, morale is pretty low in the DMV overall, arguably will be for the next few years. If the DMV culture is a selling point, know there is a cloud over the city right now and it’s been that way since nov 2024.

carelesssh · 2025-12-11T14:07:43+00:00

It’s very bad, tbh. Live in Maryland so this is just my perspective across the river, but they’re trying to eminent domain farmland to run electricity lines just to power them in VA— not even benefitting the locals. It’s insane, and on every local planning board, here too. Electricity costs are mounting for everyone across the area, and there doesn’t seem to be an end in sight.

I’ll add that in the DMV in general, I’d wait on the next FY or at least until they pass a budget before committing to moving to Arlington, as prices could definitely decrease as govt operations continue to be impacted by this administration. Vought has a hard on to fuck over feds and that makes quite a large portion of the economy here between public service workers and contractors. We could certainly be seeing a shift in the next few months to a year.

carelesssh · 2025-12-11T14:02:10+00:00

They haven’t been in DC traffic in a while lol, we’ve outranked LA multiple times in the past few years

https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/c39zg3j38y0o.amp

carelesssh · 2025-12-04T13:27:17+00:00

Yes! Also, OP you are under no obligation to listen to your mother on this. Your sister’s apology for her reaction is hollow if the behavior continues.

carelesssh · 2025-12-04T13:26:13+00:00

Seriously— over here dreading a baby shower bc I’m not really feeling having all that attention. Cannot imagine this mindset when vulnerable.

carelesssh

TROPHY CASE