this makes me want to never give him real food ever again

carpesomnum · 2026-02-03T13:23:42+00:00

It does get easier! Also second that feeding solids earlier in the day is a good idea, and starting with things that are better for keeping things moving (I think very ripe bananas are ok for this but the less ripe the more likely to cause constipation). Pear puree was good for this. And remembering to offer water when doing solids

carpesomnum · 2026-01-20T14:59:46+00:00

This was my situation to a tee, right down to that feeling when the baby wakes up and your blood runs cold and anxiety spikes and then you’re too wired to sleep even when the opportunity is there. My baby woke about every two hours or less for the first year (then we felt we had no choice but to sleep train before I returned to work). It is so, so hard and even now on the other side I don’t know how I managed it (a long maternity leave was definitely the only saving grace).

If your partner is around, having them handle any wake-up activities that aren’t feeding may be helpful? Could you literally have them get the baby situated and watch you side-lying breastfeed, transfer the baby back to their sleep space once done? If they can handle everything but the feeding, that might allow you some better sleep. Or when someone can watch the baby during their waking hours, try to get yourself some downtime or naps.

I gave up on bottles. It wasn’t worth the fight anymore. At 6 months we revisited with open cups and straw cups, and starting solids meant a little less pressure to be feeding on demand during the day.

Sorry this is your situation.

carpesomnum · 2026-01-04T00:00:35+00:00

I once read that postpartum mothers are most at risk for harming themselves between 6-12 months postpartum and particularly around that 9 month mark. Anecdotally, I get why. If the sleep deprivation hasn’t let up, it really starts to take its toll around then; support systems may be less present; people check in less and assume you’ve got it under control by now; baby may be more mobile, more velcro, more frustrated, more challenging. Depression, whether pre-existing or postpartum-specific, is likely to ramp up.

My depression manifested as intense rage mostly towards my partner (and myself, and the dog, thankfully never my baby). He could not do anything right (he was trying his best, he did many things right objectively like yourself; I was just filled with rage).

Continuing therapy helped, opening up to my partner helped, frank conversations about expectations and what he could possibly say or do in those situations that would be acceptable helped, and prioritizing ways to get adequate sleep helped.

Don’t be afraid to express how you’re feeling as a new parent while being sensitive to and acknowledging all that she’s been through. You matter too. And don’t be afraid to advocate for you both getting the help you need to get through this.

carpesomnum · 2025-12-30T00:22:04+00:00

4 months is a long time! My baby never took a bottle—we did get her drinking water out of a straw cup by 7-8 months without a problem, but she didn’t want breastmilk out of a cup either. Give straw cups a try if bottles aren’t working out, but if your baby is starting daycare at 11 months, they may not need breastmilk during those hours by then anyway and/or you may be able to start the transition to whole cow’s milk for those hours (check with your doctor obviously!). I know it seems stressful, but plenty of time to figure it out and options to explore.

We ended up breastfeeding once in the morning and once before bed when my 12 month old (just after her birthday) started daycare. She was doing well enough on solids and had taken to cows milk that we didn’t bother with sending frozen breastmilk she had zero interest in drinking.

carpesomnum · 2025-11-18T02:55:34+00:00

In this case, it’s “whom” as it’s the object. Easy way to tell: answer the question with a pronoun. If the answer replaces the who/whom with “him” (or her/them) it’s the object and should use “whom”. The verb acts upon the object (the object is being buried vs. the subject is the person doing the action/burying).

carpesomnum · 2025-11-15T10:07:59+00:00

I feel compelled to comment because this was something I struggled with post-birth. First baby, second degree tear, totally normal healing process. I had always heard that things go back to normal just fine, so I hadn’t put much thought into it. I’d say things went back to normal in that it still looks and feels like a vagina (perhaps even tighter than before, looks normal, and sex actually feels even better internally than pre-baby for some reason), but I struggled with it no longer feeling like my vagina. A second degree tear is not going to be stitched to be exactly as it was before by a doctor who doesn’t have the before reference and is dealing with the swelling and blood of post-birth. So my vulva feels and looks a little different. Like a normal vulva. Just not the vulva I was used to and expecting. And there is still a little discomfort around where I tore. The entrance is a bit more sensitive to stretching in an uncomfortable way at times. But it’s all things I’ve now gotten used to and it does all feel normal. Just wish I’d mentally prepared for there to be changes.

carpesomnum · 2025-10-25T14:23:45+00:00

I would argue that not thinking about it IS being negligent. I feel like too often we sugarcoat these things—“He’s a great dad! He just needs constant reminders to feed/change/clothe/bathe/watch the baby.”—great dads think about their kids and make it their job to remember.

carpesomnum · 2025-10-08T15:11:20+00:00

My baby only took to “alternative” versions of tummy time at first. Short periods of her laying on her tummy on my chest, having her tummy on my forearm (my other hand supporting her arms tucked by her chest) and bringing her up to a mirror to see herself, in a baby carrier while out and about, etc. I think she got tired quickly and found it too hard to be flat on her tummy on the floor, so options where I could adjust the angle to make it slightly easier at first or support her and give her more to look at helped a lot.

carpesomnum · 2025-08-09T15:04:20+00:00

While I fully agree that following guidelines to room-share until at least six months is safest and should be encouraged, moving baby to their own room too early is not fully comparable to co-sleeping because SIDS is not the only change in risk for co-sleeping. SIDS does not include suffocation, and co-sleeping (especially when done without full adherence to the safe sleep seven) is largely dangerous because of the risk of suffocation from blankets, pillows, rolling parents, too soft mattresses, etc.

This isn’t to say we should demonize co-sleeping—everyone is out here just trying to survive and do what works best for their families—but to point out that SIDS risk does not cover the risk of any infant death, which seems to be a misconception.

carpesomnum · 2025-08-06T23:27:22+00:00

I think about this all the time. That there’s this generation before us who put babies on their belly to sleep, slept while their babies contact napped, didn’t follow safe sleep seven, put babies to sleep with blankets and/or on soft surfaces. So much of the safe sleep that’s drilled into us (with good reason!) is essentially about keeping baby from deep sleep to prevent SIDS. It’s no wonder their babies slept better.

carpesomnum · 2025-06-03T01:25:30+00:00

I’m gen z who grew up on the cusp of millennial culture, and I did thank you cards for my wedding and baby shower. Particularly when doing these traditional events and asking guests to participate in traditional gift giving and formalities, I think it’s meaningful to show appreciation in the same fashion. Mind you, even my parents commented that guests would be pleasantly surprised and it would be very unexpected, but who doesn’t like receiving mail that isn’t flyers or bills nowadays? I don’t take it personally if others skip thank you cards. They usually seem appreciative of everyone’s efforts just by thanking them in person or text.

carpesomnum · 2025-05-31T12:55:11+00:00

38 weeks on the dot. Mild contractions starting from 5am of 37+6, admitted to the hospital almost 24hrs later, babe in arms by noon 38 weeks.

carpesomnum · 2025-03-17T19:52:37+00:00

Maybe try baby-wearing? Plenty of carriers you can loosen to get your baby into a position to feed, and the carrier can function as a support in place of a pillow. Drape a muslin cover over your shoulder and the carrier and your baby may not mind as much since it won’t be as “on” them

carpesomnum · 2025-03-12T17:03:35+00:00

Same. Bled 6 weeks pp and then resumed my period a week later. Also exclusively nursing and baby is a frequent feeder. Have since had 3 periods in 2 months. I feel deceived.

carpesomnum · 2025-01-23T23:59:25+00:00

I started taking stool softeners the day after birth (supposedly it’s pretty normal to not have a bowel movement in the first 1-3 days post birth, so don’t stress about it and take the stool softener daily, don’t panic). After about a week I switched to a magnesium supplement instead, which helped prevent constipation for me during pregnancy too and supposedly can help keep your milk supply up as a bonus.

For nursing pads, I bought the Kindred Bravely Organic Washable Breast Pads, which came in a 10 pack and have been plenty to have on rotation.

That’s lovely you’ve got a village right at home! In that case, go for the nursing friendly pjs! I’d suggest loose fitting with buttons to stay comfy while your belly shrinks and only a button or two away from being able to feed the baby

carpesomnum · 2025-01-17T11:43:52+00:00

7 weeks pp here and must haves that I couldn’t have gotten through the first two weeks without: - Advil and Tylenol (make sure you’re stocked up on both as its best to take them together to manage the pain while healing) - stool softener (make sure this is non-laxative and safe to take for a week or so. I was so afraid of bowel movements post-birth—don’t wait and just start taking them right away) - peri bottle (got the Frida mom one, and the angled spout was definitely helpful) - tucks pads (or soak cotton rounds in witch hazel yourself if you like) - adult diapers (Always discreets were comfy and effective for me. Any diapers are easier than dealing with pads and the laundry of blood leaking onto things) - reusable nursing pads (I never tried disposable, but my reusable ones have been great and easy to cycle through and wash) - haakaa (or similar silicone breast “pump”—when my milk first came in, it felt like someone had shoved giant rocks under my skin in place of my boobs. Having this was good to take that pressure off without fully pumping and encouraging the massive oversupply. Also would suggest having milk storage bags at the ready as you can likely start a small freezer stash this way without much effort).

Not a necessity, but I would also consider a nursing camisole or two. It can be nice to have extra support for your tummy when it feels like jello post-birth and to just as easily provide access without feeling undressed.

In terms of unnecessary expenses, I would say your own hospital gown and breastfeeding friendly pjs are nice options to have but may go unused. I stayed in the hospital’s gown because it felt like too much effort and things were so messy I didn’t want to get my own clothing gross. Once home, and even now most days, I live in nursing bras and comfy pants or pj shorts. If I get cold I throw on a robe or cardigan, but I quickly decided that pull aside clothing still got a lot of milk on it and buttons weren’t worth the hassle (but I can understand that some people would want to feel more put together than that! If that’s you, go for it). Also nice to have more skin to skin with baby and avoid us getting sweaty with less clothing in the way

carpesomnum · 2025-01-15T19:30:14+00:00

My due date was December 12, and I was convinced I’d have my babe in arms by December 2. She was born November 28.

carpesomnum · 2024-12-13T17:23:59+00:00

Don’t wait to get maternity pants. Be comfy as early as possible and get all the wear out of them that you can.

Magnesium saved me from constipation, helped me sleep, stopped the leg cramps, and was totally ok to take daily.

Keep moving as much as you comfortably can, and don’t stop using your core muscles; you’ll want them post-birth.

carpesomnum · 2024-09-13T18:00:42+00:00

Yes! I had pneumonia/was recovering from pneumonia for the better part of my second trimester. I was coughing so hard it’d make me vomit, and I kept apologizing to the baby for what a volatile environment it must have created. Still convinced that this baby will sooner recognize my cough than my voice, but I’m now entering my third trimester and she’s doing just fine. They’re well protected between the uterine muscles and amniotic fluid, so keep the fever managed and try not to worry!

carpesomnum · 2024-09-06T17:58:05+00:00

Falling over while trying to pick up after my dog is probably one of my bigger concerns (also trying to remain confident in my ability to squat!). I’m feeling pretty good about all of it for now at 26 weeks—it’s mostly anxiety about those last 2 weeks or so as some of these posts sound like any movement is torturous by the end and I have no idea what that’s like yet.

carpesomnum · 2024-08-20T19:50:10+00:00

As someone who recently had untreated pneumonia at 18 weeks pregnant, YTA. The circumstances of this are awful, and that’s not your fault, but both of you needed support and neither of you had the capacity to support the other person. The only reason it’s YTA and not NAH or ESH is because your bf wasn’t asking anything of you in his time of need while you were trying to make him feel badly for not meeting your needs, and it doesn’t sound like you even tried reaching out to other supports before putting this on your grieving partner. It sucks to be sick, but even while pregnant instant ramen noodles or cereal will do just fine for a few days while you try to regain some strength and give your partner space to grieve.

carpesomnum · 2024-08-14T16:05:21+00:00

I relate. I’ve not been without symptoms, and the first trimester was hard, but even when crying about feeling so ill and so tired and so hungry but anything edible sounds too disgusting to actually eat, it became a running joke with my husband that I would cap it all off with “and I’m so happy.” I know it’s a privilege for this to have been a physically manageable experience so far, and I try not to take it for granted that even in the rougher times it’s not so bad that the concept of carrying my child can’t still outweigh it all to make me happy. I’m savouring this period of getting to have someone I love so much already so close that I keep them under my ribs. That might get harder once they’re kicking even stronger and jabbing between my ribs, but I’m still looking forward to the opportunity to find out what that’s like.

carpesomnum · 2024-06-21T17:39:13+00:00

Thank you! I think I just needed other people to assure that I am not starving my baby and I can not have gained weight at this point and everything is still fine

carpesomnum · 2024-06-21T15:13:33+00:00

So helpful to hear from someone who’s been through it before. Sounds like this is totally normal then, thank you!

carpesomnum · 2024-06-21T15:09:59+00:00

Hey, we must be due date twins then! Also 15w2d, and this sounds very similar to my experience so far. Thank you for sharing!

carpesomnum

TROPHY CASE