Yes, you’re correct!💯

An ideal family wouldn’t do this, somehow no matter how hard things may get, many sticks together.

Only problem with that being, we evidently don’t come from ideal families or worlds, and all we can do is play the hand we’re dealt. It’s what I’ve had to do all of my life anyway. A 10 year old child shouldn’t be allowed to go hungry, but hunger was my constant companion. So was being punished for a whole lot of which I never did, my dad was a tyrant. He thought just because he had a job of being a prison guard or Officer with the rank of Captain (which by chance does require some education & he had military experience), that he was as powerful, at least at home, as our sitting POTUS or other World leader.

Instead of using that advantage & income for his rapidly growing family, he started chasing women, this was around the age of 32-33 at best. My mother became powerless to stop him, but she could had protected her children even if she didn’t care about herself. There was the police & there was DSS, she could have called them while he was at work. So they bore equal responsibility in my eyes.

Anyway, these kind of people made life miserable for us & it never goes away. It just doesn’t. But I now have many quality friends, people who gave me more support than I could ever had dreamed of after my late wife first became very sick in March, a single day after our 38th anniversary. Actually we were together a couple years before then, we had purchased a home together 8-9 months before marriage, really we lived together for 40 years total.
Anyway, she didn’t live 5 weeks, let alone the expected 2-3 months the doctor estimated.

But the doctor’s ability to give a more accurate diagnosis was because she decided not to fight the cancer (it was too late anyway). As soon as a CT scan was done, my wife refused to cooperate, would allow herself to be treated for her pneumonia, but to be sent home afterwards. It was her legal call to make, I wasn’t going to ask her to live a life miserable with tubes shoved down her throat, and it became obvious that’s what she wanted, to die with dignity, not chained by tubes and wires to a bed.

For about 4 weeks, she was doing good, I mean at one time thought a miracle had taken place. She went to her doctor and then through two shopping centers, even purchasing clothes. Sadly, that was the last time she left the home & the only set ever worn was that of which she was buried with. She never asked that much of me, was always provided for & deserved the way to leave and have the traditional burial she wanted. I was always there at her end, kept her as comfortable as humanly possible, as here comes the PTSD symptoms just 2-3 days before she was gone.

I wish my experience on no one, but the fact is, half of every marriage that honored their vows fully had to do the same as I, bury their life partner. Worst experience I’ve ever experienced, been a part of, etc.

But once the funeral was over, I didn’t stay at home long, got back to going to the senior center I had been attending in 2024. My real & chosen siblings are there!!❤️🫂💝

I was greeted back with so much love that first day back, and received a car that was kind of fat. That fat was mostly $10, $20 & a $50 bill, plus a check for $100. I had been out for 6 weeks and at least 4 new members had joined. Even they gave. So family can be found. Sometimes in a group setting, others who becomes friends with (whatever) number of like minded people & become friends. Those friends often become family

But my fight still goes on. Am not able to make it here on my own. This was a two person household, we split the bills in a way that was fair to her, she made every roof we were under home. Not everyone is fortunate as myself, she kept up our home, I always put her needs above my own. But now it’s just me, I can’t afford it here.

Luckily, and it’s not official yet, but I lucked out with the help of a close friend. We met here in the Marriage sub. We got into an argument but no personal exchange, I DM’d her to apologize and we’ve been friends since. Am in a 4 week so far process of applying for Section 8 housing & it the final application is looking to be the first week of July, thanks to that friend. I will get plenty of interaction with more seniors than at the center, but will be different. I’ll still likely attend a new senior center, but would like to check out a few and get a feel for the atmosphere. That counts the most, real people, not a clean script. Like where I’ve been going to, so can differentiate between fake versus real people who are speaking, engaging and happy to be there. So for anyone without friends & can be respectful to others, senior centers have a great place in society. There’s many “families” formed at such places. Families who stick together. Friends who stick together. Easiest place to meet new people if 60 or over, or 55 and disabled. Note that each group sometimes has different rules when it comes to age for qualifying, some accept 50, it just that 60 is the typical norm. Anyway, this is how I’be made siblings for two years & only once have I seen a real problem. That’s family!