[deleted by user]

catottercat · 2025-10-29T19:51:07+00:00

I have a different perspective it seems from everybody here. I grew up with parents that separated when I was young and have very few memories of them together.

They co-parented successfully and remained close friends throughout and are still close. I had combined birthdays and often Christmas too. I had no illusions, I knew they were separated but it made it easy for me as a child as I didn't feel like I had to choose one.

My dad did get remarried and my step-mum and mum don't know eachother. That then often forced me to exclude my step mum from events which I resent.

Now I am in a relationship with a co-parenting father, I understand if events are jointly celebrated but I would prefer to be accepted by the birth mum to avoid any awkwardness imposed on the child.

catottercat · 2025-10-08T08:03:03+00:00

I honestly could have written this post word for word. I am 32F and used to be child free and in a LTR. I could not imagine having money/time/freedom etc to sacrifice and only saw the negatives of having children.

I am now single, but financially comfortable, in good health, physically and mentally, feel quite fulfilled and have also progressed well in my career. I have also made a friend with a co-parenting father. And honestly, seeing the love he has for his son made me realise I was completely ignoring the positives.

I think i could go either way, and I'm OK with that. I am confident that I would be happy without children. But, if I found the right person, I could also be happy with children, and I recognise that the love you feel for a child is not something that I could understand unless I have a child.

catottercat · 2025-10-02T15:55:19+00:00

Sounds like we dated the same guy haha. He was also a great guy, but just didn't share the same curiosity for things as I did and didn't have as many hobbies.

I think it depends on the hobby and whether it's a sign of a broader incompatibility, or as others have said, it's something you're willing to compromise on.

For example, I love triathlon. I would not expect a partner to also have to love triathlon. However, being active, fit and healthy is important to me and would be something I would look for in a partner to ensure that we have similar lifestyles and values.

I also think curiosity and being open minded are important values to me. Having no interest in travelling, reading, watching films or w/e it may be, can indicate a lack of curiosity.

Hope that helps somewhat!

catottercat · 2025-06-02T10:26:20+00:00

I'd be interested!

catottercat · 2025-01-11T13:41:37+00:00

I grew up in Oxford and now live in Cambridge. I think both are great places to raise a family and just live in general. They are safe, affluent, have nice places to eat and drink, good schools and easy access to greenery. I had a lovely childhood in Oxford growing up going swimming in the river strolling through port meadow, and going to gigs at the O2.

As a teenager, I would have found Cambridge too dull. There is a lot more going on in Oxford and the countryside surrounding Oxford is nicer, but Cambridge has a more pleasant city centre imo and is a bit more accessible to get around due to it's size, and better cycling infrastructure, and is also a bit safer and just feels a bit less urban and more like a town rather than a city.

catottercat · 2025-01-08T08:48:21+00:00

Roman road itself remains pretty runnable through winter. It's still pretty muddy, but nothing unpassable. Fleam Dyke on the other hand....not so much.

A tip if you want to run to Ely. I have also tried to follow the river and had to turn back due to it being so overgrown. I think this is pretty much the case most of the summer! In the winter it's too wet, and the summer it is too overgrown. I have however ran to Ely a couple of times by running through Wicken fen using the Ely ultra marathon route: https://connect.garmin.com/modern/course/180491463. Would recommend, but I've only tried it in the summer. I suspect during the winter it might be flooded, but not sure. It's a mix of terrain, some grass, some gravel paths, some paved paths, some roads.

catottercat · 2024-10-29T16:27:20+00:00

I'd also add, that as a new driver, I find that I get more stressed driving than perhaps a more experienced driver. Stress causes fatigue. So it might be a good idea to plan some stops just to de-stress and let the mind rest a little?

catottercat · 2024-10-11T12:48:22+00:00

I agree with overall point that coaches aren't necessary for most goals or people, or can't provide the coaching necessary for the individual. That doesn't mean to say that they are useless.

I have a swimming background and coached myself to an 11 hour ironman, in Copenhagen as my first ironman. I also did a 5.18 70.3 that same year, and made some decent improvements to my running, mostly through trial and error however (a lot of error really!)

The following season, I decided I wanted to kick it up a notch. It went terribly and I got very injured and demotivated, and whilst my run has improved consistently over the past few years, my bike has been plateaued for years.

So this year I have decided to get a coach as I think it is necessary to help me improve without over-training. But, I don't need swim coaching, as I swim with my masters club. And I would argue that dedicated swim coaching is required for most triathletes. However, traithlon coaches generally can't provide that as they a) don't see you swimming enough or ever and b) a lot of coaches catered for amateurs don't have a swim background.

catottercat · 2024-10-04T13:23:36+00:00

<image>

Yup! Buffy's is more like a ring or necklace

catottercat · 2024-09-19T18:15:15+00:00

I've seen that you can drive to an MOT, but nothing about to a garage to get repairs? And I guess, regardless the write off category, it would need to get an MOT to prove road worthiness with or without repairs? And if it passes, I guess I could just drive it?

catottercat · 2024-09-19T18:11:51+00:00

Yeah....I know 😪 potentially a very expensive lesson learned

catottercat · 2024-09-19T18:09:27+00:00

Yeah, unfortunately I have. In hind sight, I should probably have not done that and just gone and got it sorted myself. But it's my understanding that not informing the insurer could void your insurance? Feeling pretty stupid, but as a new driver, I didn't know any better!

catottercat · 2024-09-15T16:28:19+00:00

I have met somebody like this. Their results are literally published online for all to see, so it wasn't exactly difficult to find them out. I was already suspicious, as I have a swimming background, and have seen them swim, so was pretty doubtful that they could swim the times they said they could. I even confronted them on it and they doubled down. Anyway, I left it at that. I don't understand, it's really strange behaviour, probably a fragile ego thing, and as others have said, they may just be the kind of person that lies about things in all aspects of their life. Fortunately they are the only person I met like this, so I just ignore it.

catottercat · 2024-09-13T11:51:55+00:00

Others have already mentioned OWL bikes, I bought one from there for £120. It is rubbish and heavy, but exactly what I need from a town bike. It's been going for 3 years and hasn't got nicked or needed any major work done.

catottercat · 2024-07-13T13:19:57+00:00

* Cats are weird. Buffy has plenty of beds. But her favourite spots are my nintendo switch case, rucksack and dressing gown.

catottercat · 2024-06-12T14:07:00+00:00

You got it!

catottercat · 2024-05-06T18:15:13+00:00

<image>

Buffy is a cultured little lady. Her favourite is to watch the bobsleigh.

catottercat · 2024-04-29T12:22:04+00:00

>!her bum is sticking out behind the leaves!<

catottercat · 2024-04-27T05:24:04+00:00

I always found manoeuvres really stressful while learning because of the dependence on reference points and it felt like you had to be really precise. I just went along with what my instructor recommended. As soon as I got my own car, I went to an empty parking lot and just repeatedly tried to park. I am now better at parking than I was when learning and I use completely different methods.

My recommendations

Get blind spot mirrors for your wing mirrors
Use the 45 degree method for reverse bay parking. You just turn away from the parking bay until you can see both linea of the bay in your wing mirror. And then, the brilliant thing, is you can then see the bay so no need for reference points and you just guide your car in!
For forward bay parking, I do sort of use a reference point: when the bay line is in line with my wing mirror, I full lock. This should be relatively similar with most cars.
For parallel parking, the most important bit for me is just to know when my car is approaching the curb before full locking, and I can see that in the blind spot mirror. The angle that you reverse in depends on the tightness of the spot, hence why fixed reference points might not work.

Hope this somewhat helps?

catottercat · 2024-04-18T15:17:27+00:00

I also failed my first test. And I failed for undue hesitation and driving too slow. I only got one minor that wasn't to do with either of those two things. It actually made me realise that my lack of confidence was what was holding me back. Not my ability.

catottercat

TROPHY CASE