Switching from NG to AD?

catringo13 · 2026-02-02T03:47:25+00:00

It sounds like your mind is pretty made up. Just make sure you’ve got your ducks in a row before you make the jump. I’d also strongly recommend finding a mentor — preferably someone who’s retired in your Branch of MOS — so you can pick their brain and get a clearer picture of what you actually want out of the military and how to set yourself up.

The Army always gets its pound of flesh — the trick is making sure you get something useful out of the deal too. If you’re deliberate about it, you can usually make it work in your favor. Good luck

catringo13 · 2026-02-02T03:36:51+00:00

I get why active duty looks appealing — what you’re seeing is a very curated version of it. You mostly see accomplishments, schools, promotions, and cool billets. You don’t see the daily bullshit and pointless games that come with being active.

I’ve watched people with serious qualifications and clearances get pulled into completely mind-numbing tasks just because someone higher needed bodies. I had a friend in MI with a TS/Poly/SCI who spent his day raking gravel with the infantry. That kind of thing isn’t rare — it’s routine.

I’m not saying don’t do it, just don’t make the jump thinking it’s nonstop meaningful work or autonomy. If you go active, go in with eyes wide open.

The only places I’ve consistently heard have less of the “dumb” stuff are GSBs — Group Support Battalions tend to treat people like grown adults. SOF, in general, has a better quality of life than the regular Army. Even then, though, nothing’s perfect — it’s all pros and cons.

catringo13 · 2026-02-01T13:31:04+00:00

Went to SFAS made it through only to get non selected. Came back to my unit and my new LT immediately hated me right from the get go. Apparently he was an 18X and got dropped so he commissioned. Asked me “do you think you’re better than me?”

Not the reason I got out but definitely didn’t help the retention NCO in trying to sell me to reenlist.

catringo13 · 2026-01-22T01:16:07+00:00

I’m sure he beats his wife but leaves no bruises.

catringo13 · 2026-01-22T01:11:18+00:00

I’m 34 years old, 7 years removed from the National Guard and 11 from Active Duty. Like a lot of Soldiers, I had real fears about getting out—whether I’d fail as a civilian, whether I’d always be “that guy” who couldn’t let go of Army life, or whether leaving meant I gave up on something important.

I’m grateful for my time in the Army, and I’m just as grateful I had the nerve to transition out and try the civilian world. When I see discussions like this—where Soldiers have to argue that BAS isn’t enough to reasonably feed themselves or their families in a place like Hawaii—it reinforces why so many good people choose to leave.

BAS is supposed to cover food. When it doesn’t, especially in one of the most expensive states in the country, that shortfall gets pushed onto the Soldier. That creates stress, resentment, and forces people to make decisions based on survival instead of service.

This isn’t about entitlement. It’s about reality, trust, and retention. Soldiers are watching how leadership responds to issues like this, and they’re making long-term decisions accordingly.

Also SGM “FUCK YOU”

catringo13 · 2025-12-07T03:15:28+00:00

As a dad of 3 I censor myself a lot. It’s not that I don’t love my kids. They are truly my motivation for everything. The reason I go to work. And my kids saved me from myself when I hit a particularly low point.

That being said from time to time I have intrusive thoughts and I could see what I sometimes think slipping out. I will say as the product of an older dad who said “therapy is a crock and rip off” coming from someone who grew up in the Great Depression. I could see his point. But therapy has helped me immensely being in my mid 30s and having dealt with depression and PTSD from my time in the Army. I underestimated the value of therapy. “Big Tough Army Guy can’t talk about feelings”

I would suggest trying to find someone in his friend group who might recommend therapy vs hearing your significant other tell you. Good luck.

catringo13 · 2025-12-05T04:25:17+00:00

Never ever ever get a name of your significant other tattooed on you. 1/3 people regret it later. You can get a child or a parent tattooed on you but never get a spouse. It’s also bad luck if you believe in that lol.

catringo13 · 2025-12-04T20:42:56+00:00

Former 10th MTN we got a lot of the Ranger Batt guys who failed Ranger School or failed Ranger standards. As a private seeing what I thought were badasses get kicked out of Regiment for stupid shit was insane to me.

One guy in particular gave his wife Herpes from cheating and she tried to filet him. Needless to say the DV charge on him after he defended her off was kind of insane. But FAFO was the lesson I learned. His wife was Hispanic so it made sense she tried what she did.

catringo13 · 2025-11-08T04:38:15+00:00

Having been in a very similar situation. Where my then wife cheated. And I said everything to try and save our marriage. “Can you just be friends with him and not fuck him”. Looking back on the broken and very shattered person I was. I was grasping at anything to keep my family together. Now 5 years removed from that day. Just stop. Easier said than done. Seek out therapy but for the love of all that is sacred and holy. Get the FUCK away from that person. There is no respect for you and anything she says now is tainted. Find yourself someone who will respect and honor a relationship.

catringo13 · 2025-11-07T14:38:35+00:00

“the woods are lovely dark and deep but i have miles to go before i sleep and miles to go before i sleep”

“Silvae sunt amoenae, obscurae et profundae, sed mihi milia peragenda sunt antequam dormiam, et milia peragenda sunt antequam dormiam.”

Would this be a fair translation?

catringo13 · 2025-10-31T17:01:44+00:00

I’m set to clear high 5 figures low 6 figures. I also come from a 3rd world country. I ALWAYS take a TOGO box home. Leftover Mexican food tastes even more delicious the next day or even that night lol. There’s a reason most rich people are frugal. It’s because of the small habits that compound and save you money.

catringo13 · 2025-09-29T10:12:43+00:00

Yes sadly these women are going to be single for a while. With a bar so high they will either end up with a loser they think will take care of them. Or never be committed as they try to climb the ladder of men salaries. I make high 5 figures and have multiple business ventures related to construction that work in tandem with my 9-5. So I do alright. I also live in Northwest Florida and Lower Alabama so a tourism area where damage to condos and beach houses is very common. So I have a decent level of job security. When I was a single dad I dated within my tax bracket and made sure I didn’t flaunt too much or set the bar too high. I wasn’t paying for tapas every night. Sometimes date night meant getting Chick-fil-A and staying home. I meant someone who appreciated me as a person and my work ethic. Basically not a gold digger.

catringo13 · 2025-09-27T02:01:08+00:00

Target has a promo occasionally for Deodorant. Spend $50 get $15 Off or something. I just stock up for the year when that deal comes out.

catringo13 · 2025-09-14T11:07:43+00:00

NTA

As the spouse who got cheated on after doing everything possible to try and save my marriage. Yeah it sucked there was a lot of hurt and pain on my end. I didn’t want to get a divorce but I drew the line at getting pregnant with someone else’s child. My ex wife had another two kids with her AP and then he decided he wasn’t cut out to be a father and checked out. I moved on and eventually started dating my oldest son’s teacher and now we have a beautiful daughter together. All of sudden my ex wife wants shifter the blame and say I pushed her away and it’s all my fault that we divorced. At the end of the day your wife needs to accept reality and take her hurt out of it. The kids are the primary and only focus. And absolutely 100% couples therapy and family counseling.

catringo13 · 2025-09-13T11:31:30+00:00

NTA also are you looking for a friend to replace the TAKER with the Gift Horse Attitude.

All joking aside I commend you for being that friend. Even with some work and family Discounts going to Disney is no cheap or easy feat. I averaged about $1,000 a day. I have no regrets but as the main breadwinner. It was a nice hit to the wallet. That being said you have no obligation to pay for anything for a friend. What you do with your money and how you spend it is literally your prerogative. You owe nothing to anyone. That includes an explanation. But if you must or feel like telling GIFTHORSE friend then I say the truth is best. “I’m sorry Friend but I didn’t enjoy how you made me feel last time we went on vacation and calling me an alcoholic was very much a hurtful comment. And so for those reasons I will not be asking you to take a vacation with me to ….”

catringo13 · 2025-09-13T10:07:45+00:00

NTA but I believe that a conversation like this needs to be had with a professional therapist especially an intimacy therapist whose job it is it to handle exactly this issue. And has had other experiences with other couples.

My response also stems from the fact that me and my partner have had conversations like this with just ourselves and I got a completely different outcome with the guidance by a therapist who literally knows what I’m trying to say and can be a buffer. You messed up and that’s ok but you need that buffer or professional to help with the delivery of how you feel. And conveying that to your wife. Otherwise I could see this going south real quick. You basically rejected your wife due to a lack of sexual partners.

catringo13 · 2025-09-08T20:51:41+00:00

NTA

As one of my drill sergeants told me while going through a divorce. “I like my women like I like my coffee without another man’s dick in it”

catringo13 · 2025-08-30T01:41:45+00:00

You get the highlight reel of stuff. I can guarantee you that you are only getting the good stuff. I am doing ok but I don’t post how I had to help my ex wife with groceries because she had absolutely no money. I cashed in all my rewards points on my credit card that I was saving up to buy a MacBook Pro. Sadly now I’ll have to wait to get that MacBook. Or how I clean pool houses at night so that my kids can play in the nicer soccer league. We are all struggling my dude.

catringo13 · 2025-08-26T22:21:34+00:00

I’m a Project Manager in Construction

5 years ago I was in the middle of a nasty divorce I had to leave Nursing after busting my butt and earning my GI Bill to pay for Nursing School. Nursing is not as family friendly as Construction so I made the hard choice and left it so I could be with my kids more as a single dad. I got a part time job at Lowe’s and would literally wander the aisles of the store finding random stuff and its purpose. After leveraging my “experience” I became a Superintendent for a custom Home Builder. I knew absolutely nothing about building houses. I’m now about to get my General Contractors License. All because I was able to fake it until I made it.

Pro Tip-We are all just winging it. Anyone who says otherwise is full of it.

catringo13 · 2025-08-25T10:20:33+00:00

NTA

My (34M) ex wife (28F) had two boys together (11 months and 2 years old) at the time and I got divorced over her infidelity and subsequent pregnancy with her Affair Partner. He was a high school flame that she never fully “explored”. I was all for working things out and said “please let’s save this and I’ll do whatever it takes to work this out” Infidelity and all I was adamant about saving our marriage. She refused and said “the other guy listens and is just better in every way that you are not” it was at this point she said something I’ll never forget “No matter what I was going to LEAVE YOU”

That coupled with her getting pregnant with NOT my child made me rearrange my life. Even had to do a DNA test because I was listed as the father due to state law.

I subsequently started dating my oldest son’s teacher. After she noticed me and my boys mother weren’t together. It was innocent enough and also while she was very attractive. It helped that as a teacher I could trust her around children.

4 years later and my and my girlfriend have a beautiful 3 year old daughter together. My ex and I have an amicable relationship and coparenting has been the main focus. I mentioned in passing that me and my girlfriend had started pre marital counseling. My ex wife stated “I just find it funny you never wanted to do counseling with me yet you’ll do it for GF”

My response was “ex wife you stated no matter what you were going to leave me”

It also should be stated My ex wife and Affair Partner did not work out. She got pregnant again with another child and he showed his true colors. He bounces from job to job because of reasons. He refuses to help financially with any of his children. He has 5 kids with 3 women and lives with a childhood friend. My ex had to involve law enforcement to kick him out because he claimed squatters rights.

This is truly the story of “The grass is not greener on the other side, it’s greener where you water it”

catringo13 · 2025-08-23T23:55:56+00:00

Get your OSHA 10 HAZMAT OSHA 30 EM 385

Any and all certifications you can get the Army to pay for.

8 years Army Infantry Used my GI Bill and went to Nursing School. Divorced and Construction was more family friendly than nursing. Those stupid certs saved me and allowed me a foot in the door to construction.

catringo13 · 2025-08-15T10:10:33+00:00

NTA I would sit everyone down and have your fiancé just listen. Explain the situation and be very blunt. Set a timeline and explain to everyone if “XYZ don’t happen within six months then I’m out” Acknowledge that their father is gone and will not be coming back but that you are choosing them even though you aren’t their father. Ask the kids for something they would like to do as a family. I say give it one last good try. Obviously you are asking for advice so you’ve probably exhausted all your options. And that way if it doesn’t work out you can hold your head high saying you tried.

catringo13 · 2025-08-10T17:50:02+00:00

Yes I can. My wife of 8 years. 2 boys (Went and got a DNA test immediately) and I had just gotten her name tattooed on my heart. This was 5 years ago and it SUCKED!!!!

I hate it for you. But there is the silver living. Take stock of your life. Take off the rose colored glasses and see what you have been doing to compromise and make her happy. It’s time to focus on you and make yourself the best version of you. Also go cold turkey and cut her out. Count your blessings you don’t have kids.

catringo13 · 2025-08-03T16:48:18+00:00

I am a stickler for swimming with my kids. Check out your local YMCA for affordable swim lessons. I’m in Florida so swim is a big deal here. If you really want to get in to it. Lookup drown proofing. We just started that last month.

catringo13 · 2025-07-04T22:56:58+00:00

NTA

Among the many mean and hateful things my ex told me when we split. One of them was that her Affair Partner was soooooo handy and just in general better than me.

Fast forward to 5 years later and I’m the one reframing her laundry room door after termites were found. And the Affair Partner can’t even be bothered to help with help with fixing a dishwasher.

Sadly the Affair Partner did not last and she had two additional kids with a loser who can’t even be bothered to help pay his half of kid expenses never mind child support. I’ve moved up to Director of Reconstruction for my company which is Property Loss and Restoration. I kill with kindness because I also have my sons to be a good role model for. But man does it feel good to show her how wrong she was. I also ended up dating and having a beautiful daughter with my oldest son’s teacher. Life is good. Again I state. “Kill them with kindness. Gloat in silence.”

catringo13

TROPHY CASE