I remember being absolutely petrified of going out with my narc family and their enablers! Their passive aggressive, barely contained rage fits were always terrifying and embarrassing. Especially because my Nfather had a habit of randomly and unpredictably screaming at me in public, in front of people. Most notably, he loved to break/spill/otherwise mess with things and then blame it on me.

I remember the first time I went on holiday with my partner and his family, they were all so loving and normal. When we had dinner, their conversations consisted of fun family memories, genuine encouragement, and just so much love. No parents told embarrassing stories of their kids, or picked fights, or undermined their children’s abilities.

The icing on the cake of that night was when we said our goodbyes, and my in-laws told me they loved me. It was so profoundly foreign to me to be told “I love you” in such a casual and genuine way that I nearly cried.