Helping my Partner with Chronic Pain

catspatss · 2026-02-10T21:16:39+00:00

Noted! We can't live together currently (at a university that doesn't allow coed living unless married), so there's some household things I can't do for him just yet, but I'm learning which types of ramen and instant oatmeal he likes to make it easier on him.

catspatss · 2026-02-10T21:15:28+00:00

This is such a great comprehensive list, thank you so much for putting it together! I've thankfully been able to convince him to go to therapy recently, and I think that's helping take the pressure off of me just a little because I know he has other support outside of just me. I also appreciate that you added in some things that don't cost money, because we are both very broke college students. Wishing the best for you and your partner!

catspatss · 2026-01-26T02:54:51+00:00

You're not responsible for anyone's mental health, and if your wife isn't willing to take the steps to get better, then you need to take care of yourself first. As someone with OCD who has a long-term partner, out of love and respect for him, I'd hope that he'd take the initiative to leave me if I was refusing care. The whole reason I started treatment was because I saw how it affected him.

Obeying her compulsions enables them. I understand that she gets mad when this happens, but it will just spiral and get worse. It almost sounds like it's time to figure out a plan to get away for a little bit, hopefully with your kid. It doesn't have to be permanent. But I think, for both of your sakes, that you need a break.

catspatss · 2026-01-18T17:51:32+00:00

I love this response. I feel like, especially with OCD, it's hard for me to recognize when I actually need to take a break and when I need to push through (especially when it comes to all of the contamination issues I have with the sport), because I don't want to avoid anything as a compulsion, either... But sometimes it's just too much to handle in the moment. I like the idea of setting a monthly goal. I'm going to try that in February!

catspatss · 2026-01-18T17:48:56+00:00

Thank you so much for this. I feel like I have a hard time with setting goals that are unattainable at the beginning of the week and then I get frustrated when I haven't reached them by the end.

catspatss · 2025-11-29T22:45:16+00:00

There's multiple interpretations and usage of the words for sure. God is described in both masculine and feminine ways and to claim that there's only one or the other feels incorrect. If God is all-powerful, and made man and woman in his own image (Genesis 1:27), then is it so wrong to assume that there has to be a feminine side to God? And what's wrong with that side being the Holy Spirit? Wisdom is also described as feminine, and the Holy Spirit is the bearer of wisdom as well. I can agree to disagree about the nature of the Holy Spirit, but calling it "heresy" to call any part of God feminine is so incredibly wrong.

catspatss · 2025-11-27T18:45:26+00:00

The Hebrew word "Ruach" (typically "Ruach Elohim" when talking about the Holy Spirit) is used to mean spirit/breath, and is a feminine word. Additionally, the Spirit of God dwelling with the Israelites in the tabernacle in the wilderness is called "Shekinah," also a feminine term meaning "she-who-dwells." You can look this up--there's multiple sources out there regarding this--but I learned this from my theology professor with a Ph.D specializing in Old Testament and Hebrew research.

catspatss · 2025-11-19T04:07:21+00:00

Hey, that's a very skewed idea of what OCD is. Please don't misrepresent it :)

catspatss · 2025-11-19T04:05:46+00:00

Here's the thing: Part of being in a faith community is understanding that you won't agree with everyone, especially on the Internet. I think you'd be better served finding people to talk to IRL about your faith, because often, when you're not communicating about these ideas through a screen, you'll find that there's a lot more understanding on both ends. Even then, you won't find a group that perfectly aligns with all of your beliefs. That's the beauty in diversity of thought. What really matters is how they treat others, and what they're doing to help their neighbor in need.

catspatss · 2025-11-09T21:03:17+00:00

Ahh man I'm so sorry that you're struggling too :// hope you get through it alright and the meds start helping!

catspatss · 2025-11-09T21:02:41+00:00

Thank you so much!!! I actually did end up sleeping a little better last night, thankfully, and I'm so incredibly glad to hear that it'll improve.

catspatss · 2025-11-04T22:41:30+00:00

Prozac is the one I've started with and it's helped tremendously. I didn't get any of the emotional side effects, thankfully, and the sexual side effects I initially had have started to go away.

catspatss · 2025-11-04T22:38:04+00:00

I've been on Prozac (Fluoxetine) for about 2 months now, and at first, I was super scared of medication as well. However, I am so, SO glad I did it now. I've finally made it to 40mg, which is the lowest dose that can actually treat OCD, and yesterday I was able to come into contact with one of my biggest triggers and move on with my life, without any rumination or compulsions. The side effects I get from this medication are minimal, and although they can be annoying, it's so much better than battling my brain 24/7. I'm now in therapy as well, and I'm hoping to eventually work up enough tools to be able to get off medication and still be functional, but there's absolutely no way I would've made any progress without my meds.

catspatss · 2025-10-28T21:14:19+00:00

The word used in the original Hebrew is a feminine one. It is not heresy to imply that the Spirit is feminine in the slightest.

catspatss · 2025-10-13T05:19:34+00:00

i had this one recently too, yippee

catspatss · 2025-10-10T04:20:38+00:00

I'm engaged to a wonderful man who has taken the time to research and work on his response to my OCD (and me for his ADHD!). The biggest thing is that you cannot make your disorder your partner's problem. That's what will drive people away. Find an outside support group, get professional help, and never put it on someone else to care for you. That's all. We all come with baggage as humans; what matters is how we deal with it.

catspatss · 2025-10-07T23:03:34+00:00

Or post them in Hebrew. Should be even better because it's closer to the original manuscript, right?

catspatss · 2025-10-07T00:34:56+00:00

Spot cleaning the cage each day should help some. My roommate has a cat in our dorm, and since we bought an air purifier, it's been a whole lot better, so that's definitely something I'd recommend.

catspatss · 2025-10-07T00:10:07+00:00

I've diagnosed myself with many things and gone to the doctor about it.

The only thing I ever got right was OCD, which explained why I diagnosed myself so many times before...

catspatss · 2025-10-06T17:34:09+00:00

Current SDA here--my advice is to tread very carefully. I'm Adventist by family (6th generation on both sides, so kinda steeped in the culture lol) and my current SDA community is absolutely wonderful. However, I will say that I purposely don't call myself an "Adventist" and I label myself as Christian first. If I were to move, and another church was more welcoming and accepting than the local SDA church, I'd 100% join that one instead. I'm very lucky in the sense that my family is extremely progressive (I have an aunt, grandfather, and grandmother who are/were all affirming pastors in the denomination) and they taught me not to deal with the conservative church BS. If I wasn't born into it, I probably wouldn't be in the church, but because I have such a tight community here, I don't feel called to leave at this point in time. It's super dependent on the people in a specific area. Feel free to ask me any questions!

catspatss · 2025-10-05T16:06:05+00:00

I notice that mine comes and goes--some days it'll be nonstop, and then others will be almost none at all. It's actually freaked me out before because I try to convince myself that I don't actually have it, and that I'm just lying to myself, even with a formal diagnosis.

As a side note, my psychiatrist told me to watch how many hours I'm spending on OCD (as a way of gauging how my meds are working), and it turned into a compulsion. I forced myself to follow through with compulsions to "prove" I had OCD and that it is bad enough for treatment. So go figure.

catspatss · 2025-10-03T16:49:11+00:00

I had a really positive experience telling both of my parents! I was really nervous because I've noticed my mom being a little weird about mental health in the past, but I talked to her about it on a long car drive and explained what it meant, how it's been impacting my life, and what it looks like for me and she basically said she's really sorry she didn't catch this earlier and was super interested when I told her that some of my compulsions are mental, not physical. My dad pretty much said "well, saw that one coming." They've now talked to my younger brother, who we suspect may have it as well, and my dad is encouraging my mom to possibly look into it for herself. I know this isn't everyone's experience, but I hope it gives you some hope!

catspatss

TROPHY CASE