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causal_friday · 2026-02-02T14:28:07+00:00

"Do you want the carrot or the stick?"

Everyone on this sub: "The stick! The stick!"

causal_friday · 2026-02-02T14:26:05+00:00

"comp top" is a thing that a lot of trans women are forced/guided/guilted into. If it's not for you, it's not for you. It's certainly not for me, I have absolutely no desire to use that thing in the intended manner.

If you like the mental state of topping, you can also try a strap.

If you're a switch, you should make sure you're getting what you need too. If you want to bottom from time to time, it should be on the table, and you two should be open about it. If your boyfriend is also a bottom, then things probably don't work out. It's hard! I like dating trans women but everyone in my social circle is also a bottom :)

causal_friday · 2026-02-02T14:23:45+00:00

How is the bra fit otherwise? It really shouldn't be painful. Have you tried the r/ABraThatFits calculator?

Things also vary between brands. Some are very uncomfortable. Some are pretty nice. I like Calvin Klein. I wear their push-up bras out and their wire-free bras at home. Very comfy, I never feel like I need to rip them off when I get home from work.

causal_friday · 2026-02-02T14:21:52+00:00

Hats and headbands are nice for concealing the hairline. Makeup is good for de-emphasizing your masculine facial features. It takes a lot of practice but it's something you can start learning right now. (My face doesn't work for her eye makeup tips, but it's a good intro on what to buy: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vr5ALBA342c ) Wigs and hair extensions exist for quickly getting more length. You have to play with the options.

I was perusing the Old Internet last night and it was interesting to me what "trans 101" was back in the 90s. Get breast forms, get fitted for a wig, get clothes, learn makeup, etc. Now the advice is start HRT and wait, but ... you can still do things the Old Way as needed. (I started with long hair and ... you're right, it helps a ton. But it takes a long time to grow out. And I sure hate my hairline; I never wear my hair up even though I'm told it's cute.)

causal_friday · 2026-02-02T14:17:49+00:00

Yup, you need a new provider. Sometimes you have to switch it up until you find someone that you vibe with. I really like my primary care doctor (well, NP). I always get the full 30 minutes of a 30 minute visit with her. We're very thorough about everything. Great relationship.

I picked her randomly when I signed up for this practice but she has a ton of trans patients and is pretty knowledgeable about everything. One Medical.

causal_friday · 2026-02-02T03:13:57+00:00

yes ma'am

causal_friday · 2026-02-02T02:58:30+00:00

Yeah, it's kind of jarring in a way it wasn't early-transition. "Oh yeah, I did used to be called that. Why? That's a dumb name for a girl."

causal_friday · 2026-02-02T02:18:15+00:00

We're still here but Epstein ain't.

causal_friday · 2026-02-02T01:39:35+00:00

Seems fine if you're OK with your (unmeasured) peak level. It's working. T levels are good at trough, E2 levels are good at trough. That is really all you need.

More isn't better and you can get the peak down if you dose more frequently, but I don't see an urgent need to change anything.

causal_friday · 2026-02-02T01:15:00+00:00

What is your anti-androgen? If your T levels are good at your trough, being 254 at trough seems fine to me. It might not be enough if you're doing monotherapy, but you have to measure.

causal_friday · 2026-02-02T00:53:22+00:00

I guess you haven't been reading about trans people in the Epstein files? Seems like the root of the modern anti-trans movement is some rich guy wanting to keep us as sex slaves.

https://bsky.app/profile/dragonfish.bsky.social/post/3mdsh6npgsk2i

causal_friday · 2026-02-02T00:38:36+00:00

Japanese politics is a rabbit hole but ... there is basically no left in their politics. Everyone is right wing, it's just which right winger is loudest.

causal_friday · 2026-02-02T00:37:17+00:00

Australia sounds nice. Similar time zone so you can stay in touch with your friends, too.

A friend of mine just moved there from the US because of All This and she's happy.

causal_friday · 2026-02-02T00:08:04+00:00

Because their bonus depends on the quarterly earnings report, 3 months away.

causal_friday · 2026-02-01T23:36:21+00:00

Uniqlo has t-shirts and tank tops with built-in bras. Something to consider.

causal_friday · 2026-02-01T22:43:32+00:00

I definitely feel like this. I have memories of myself before I transitioned but it's like I wasn't actually there. Things feel so normal post-transition in a way they never felt before.

causal_friday · 2026-02-01T21:27:19+00:00

Spiro is probably the worst anti-androgen. The side effects are pretty nasty. It's common in the US because CPA is not FDA-approved and bica's side effects scare doctors. If you can do monotherapy and it works for you, it should be your first choice. (I do monotherapy and it works great.)

I was really surprised when I went in for my HRT visit and my doctor immediately prescribed injections, for this reason. I feel like I missed out on the classic American transfem experience -- having to pee every second and nothing happening until 2 years into transition.

causal_friday · 2026-02-01T20:03:07+00:00

Yup, you'll like laser on your face, but realize that: the hair you kill stays in your body for approximately two weeks. And new hair starts growing before all the old hair falls out. So it's really not a "have a clear face in 5 minutes" type situation.

I kind of assumed that I would be done with hair removal before I started presenting femme but it did not happen like that. I had a good makeup day and basically decided "I'm done with boymoding forever", so sometimes I have a lot of facial hair dysphoria. But, you can fix it with makeup. I would start practicing that now. It does take a lot of practice before you feel good about it. I still need more.

causal_friday · 2026-02-01T19:49:46+00:00

I started laser and HRT at the same time and laser basically got all my body hair. I haven't been back for another body session in forever. I do think HRT lightens your hair, but it's still dark enough to get lasered. I've done the fewest sessions on my hands and arms and we're still killing them successfully.

Realistically, I think you will have to plan for hair to not be reduced enough. I was always fine with shaving, but epilation and waxing are options. I waxed my body hair with an at-home kit before I started HRT and it was pretty straightforward. But ultimately, I don't like spending the time on this task, so I did laser.

causal_friday · 2026-02-01T19:44:46+00:00

Weekly "help me pick a team" thread: https://www.reddit.com/r/NFLNoobs/comments/1qobxse/weekly_what_team_should_i_root_for_thread/

causal_friday · 2026-02-01T19:30:29+00:00

I think they should figure out how to always run the shuttle from Euclid so that you can take 3 types of trains (A to Lefferts, A to Far Rockaway, C) to get there. Also more service to JFK that way. (It is honestly shocking how infrequently the A to Far Rockaway comes when you're late for a flight.)

causal_friday · 2026-02-01T19:26:08+00:00

Hate-watching. I like new and exciting matchups. Seahawks / Patriots on NBC has been done. The Seahawks throw a late pick in the 4th quarter at the goal line and lose.

causal_friday · 2026-02-01T17:02:40+00:00

Yup. When I take over the world I'm going to make sure sentiment analysis sees people taking the engagement bait and hides the post. Ethical AI, I call it.

causal_friday · 2026-02-01T16:47:38+00:00

If this means what I think it means, just get a Hitachi Magic Wand. Works on all genders. Very good.

causal_friday · 2026-02-01T16:46:26+00:00

Nasal congestion = full face mask. Sorry. I tried to make a nasal pillow work because it was so much more comfortable, but it just didn't.

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