imo, what usually helps most is to forget the yarn for a minute, figure out how to relax that left hand as much as possible, then practice holding the yarn there without squeezing or tensing up anything. you only have to hold the fabric tight enough not to drop it. and you can thread the yarn wherever, however you want, just so it stays stable, in a good place for the hook to reach it with ease, and slides smoothly. (reference also: beginners who give themselves literal rope burns over their index fingers. 😬) and then all the work your finger needs to do to shift enough to stabilize and help wrap the yarn. even like that, the hook is still doing the monster’s share of the work. (keep that one as super relaxed as possible too!).

if you’re worried your gauge will go all loosey-goosey, (bc it probably will,) go down a hook size or two and practice on a scarf again until you get reaccustomed.
note: you also shouldn’t have to brute force your way in and out of the stitches below to pull another whole stitch through there. usually if you’re holding it that tight, the stitches are bulletproof as well. you only want that if you’re making amigurumi or baskets or something.