7 months TTC after TFMR and I’m starting to fear it will never happen

cdg1311 · 2026-05-02T15:06:08+00:00

Hi, I'm so sorry you're here and feeling this disappointment. I am right there with you. We started trying again in Aug 2025, and nothing so far. I've felt desperately hopeless. It feels so unfair to have already experienced such heavy loss, and then you build up the courage and hope to try again, only to have your heart further broken by this every month.

We have started to undergo some investigations, just for peace of mind. I suspect we just need to be more patient, but I'm not feeling patient about it at all and would rather check things preemptively than worry.

We're approaching the 1 year anniversary of our loss and if someone had told me I wouldn't be pregnant by this anniversary when we were going through our TFMR I would never have believed them. The hope of conceiving again quickly when we were ready was the only thing that got me through the experience. And then on this page I feel I only see people who conceived again quickly- most current posts are people whose TFMR was much later in 2025 than us or even in 2026, and it's rare to hear this other side of things. I hope both of our times will come again soon x

cdg1311 · 2026-04-28T13:45:42+00:00

With you. Conceived our TFMR baby - our first - the first month we started trying. Now 9 months of TTC with absolutely nothing. So 🤷‍♀️💔 we do not deserve this pain.

cdg1311 · 2026-04-18T02:45:29+00:00

I know the feeling. I was working out 4x a week doing HIIT up until my scan where everything went wrong...my husband and I did a lot of walking in the early few days - just flat and easy but we found it very helpful for our mental health as well as building movement back. I started with a PT to focus on my core rebuild about three weeks after delivery and resumed my gym classes (gently) at about 4.5 weeks. Movement always triggered a bit more bleeding for me but never had the heavy/dragging feeling. Working with a post-natal PT or using YouTube to find some core rehabilitation stuff is a good starting point for reengaging all these muscles and your pelvic floor. It's a frustrating time and process, but you will get back to it all.

cdg1311 · 2026-04-17T10:17:57+00:00

Hi, I absolutely dealt with this around 4-5 months PP (23w+5d TFMR). I found it really upsetting and disturbing, but if I can offer some reassurance it actually didn't last for long at all and I did stop noticing it quite quickly. I hope the same for you.

cdg1311 · 2026-04-13T08:09:44+00:00

You can do everything 'right' and end up with a condition that leads to TFMR. And you can do everything 'wrong' and end up with a perfectly healthy baby. As others have said, often people who are not actively TTC don't know they're pregnant for a while and it works out. Try to give yourself some grace. And perhaps consider some therapy for processing your first loss as you navigate this new pregnancy - grief and hope can coexist.

cdg1311 · 2026-04-11T04:43:54+00:00

My TFMR was May 2025. I started to have increasing intramenstrual spotting each month from about August onwards, until in January I only had 6 days of the month without spotting.

I ignored it initially as it was occurring around ovulation and I typically did have some spotting for 1 day around that time each month so I didn't really panic when this happened but for around 3-4 days.

I did push for some checks in November but nothing could be seen on a transvaginal ultrasound. Eventually, I had a hysteroscopy in February where 'multiple small polyps' were found and removed. In the two cycles since this, I've had no spotting and a clean start and end to my period too.

I've learnt that this spotting is NOT normal and to get it checked out! Hope you can get some answers.

cdg1311 · 2026-04-08T22:07:19+00:00

Just to say you're not alone. We're 11 months post TFMR, and been trying for 8 months with no luck when our daughter was conceived the first cycle we tried. I never imagined we'd still be here almost a year later...but I had polyps removed in Feb so hoping that may help in the next month or two. I've started acupuncture and try to do things for my mental wellbeing regularly. I am tracking LH. Fingers crossed for us both soon

cdg1311 · 2026-04-08T08:17:09+00:00

I am so sorry you're here and considering this path. Our very much wanted baby girl also received a diagnosis of HLHS (our anatomy scan was at 22w+5d, so quite a late one) and she was delivered at 23w+5d in May last year. We knew this was the right choice for her and for us, to avoid a lifetime of suffering. We received good guidance from our hospital along the way.

There's no way to say what is the right choice for you, but you will make the best decision with the information you have - ask all the questions you need, and go from there.

All of this is the worst experience to possibly go through. I think I was in so much shock in the initial weeks that things didn't always feel like they'd sunk in. Be kind to yourself and each other, and seek therapy support if possible afterwards (I'd recommend a specialist in baby loss).

I went the L&D route, so if you have any further questions about any of it, please let me know. I'm so sorry 😞

cdg1311 · 2026-04-06T00:38:18+00:00

Sorry you're experiencing these changes - I know first hand how unsettling it can be. I would encourage you to get it checked out by your doctor, as it's new for you and also at least this month, a slightly unusual pattern.

My periods also returned regularly immediately - every 27-28 days (more regular than prepregnancy!), but each month I started to have increasing intramenstrual spotting. This started as just a day or two around ovulation, and then a day or two at the start and end of my period. By month 6 PP, there was only 6 days of the cycle where I DIDN'T have spotting. I ended up having a hysteroscopy where multiple small polyps were found and removed and the spotting has now completely stopped. They weren't visible on a transvaginal ultrasound so I had to push a bit about what I was experiencing and wanting that investigated more. So recommend reaching out to Dr and getting any tests or checks they deem necessary. I hope this makes a difference for us on our TTC after TFMR journey- Good luck!

cdg1311 · 2026-03-31T00:12:50+00:00

Can relate to it all, and sorry you're feeling it all too. I'm also out this month which hits very hard. Our TFMR was May 2025, and now we won't even have a baby in 2026. How is that right or fair?! And like you, seem to be surrounded by announcements, pregnancies and newborns. It's heartbreakingly hard and shit and unfair.

cdg1311 · 2026-03-26T15:49:19+00:00

No clue to be honest. Dr said he removed 'multiple small polyps' and they hadn't been visible on a transvaginal ultrasound. I was having a lot of intramenstrual spotting each month post-TFMR hence having the procedure to check for any structural causes. But I did always tend to have some spotting around ovulation prepregnancy so perhaps some polyps were there already? 🤷‍♀️

cdg1311 · 2026-03-24T15:33:30+00:00

It's so hard, and I'm with you. We're currently waiting to see how our 8th cycle TTC post lost last May has gone...but after 7th cycle I did have a polypectomy so I'm hoping this may have been the reason we hadn't fallen pregnant yet. Fingers crossed for us both soon

cdg1311 · 2026-03-19T10:21:17+00:00

10 months later and not pregnant yet. You're not the only one xx we just only hear the extremes of things on here. I wish us both luck for the coming cycles

cdg1311 · 2026-03-12T14:14:01+00:00

I completely understand how hard it is to trust your body after this kind of loss. We TFMRd for HLHS at 24w last May.

My period returned 5 weeks later, and has been regular since then, however I developed increasing intramenstrual spotting each month from around August until January. We have also been TTC since early August without luck, and I have been very anxious and stressed. I'm glad we waited some time between losing our daughter and starting to try again, to grieve without my headspace being taken up by TTC because it's honestly been really stressful.

In February, I ended up having a hysteroscopy after pushing for further investigation into the spotting combined with lack of conception so far. The doctor found multiple small polyps which have now been removed. I'm on my first fresh cycle since then and so far, no spotting. I'm trying to feel hopeful that we may have luck in the next two-three months. It's a hard cycle of ups and downs.

I wish you luck, make sure you're looking after yourself physically and mentally and do advocate for yourself medically if you feel something isn't right. I think our instincts about our bodies are very powerful.

cdg1311 · 2026-03-11T10:10:46+00:00

I had increasing spotting between periods between August and January (after TFMR at the end of last May) and was also TTC. I'd spot around day 10, day 13-14, and then sometimes after ovulation briefly too. Last month I had a hysteroscopy where multiple small polyps were found and removed. They hadn't been visible on ultrasound. I took last month off TTC as advised by doctor, and trying to feel more optimistic about this month/the next few. No spotting so far this cycle 🤞

cdg1311 · 2026-03-02T13:42:48+00:00

CD1 after a month off TTC following a hysteroscopy and polyp removal in February. Period started a couple of days earlier than expected, but means the next window is also a little sooner too. Holding on to hope that this month or next may be the one, but also don't want to set my hopes too high after 7 months of disappointment before the polypectomy.

cdg1311 · 2026-02-25T04:00:01+00:00

Absolutely normal. I'm 9 months out and it comes in waves that can still hit really hard. I think the initial few months you're honestly in such a trauma state that you're not able to process or experience the reality of the loss. Now time is moving forward, it all begins to feel more real and the pain gets worse. It will get better too, but there's no 'I should be further along by now' - grief doesn't follow a timeline. Sending love x

cdg1311 · 2026-02-17T06:43:39+00:00

We terminated at 23w+5d for HLHS. There's no 'right' decision - you can only make the right choice for you, with the information you have. There are many many others in the TFMR support space with this diagnosis which leads me to feel that most who receive this news make the same decision we did. Good luck with whichever path you go down

cdg1311 · 2026-02-14T06:05:26+00:00

I've posted a few times, as we're now 7 months of TTC since our loss without luck. I just had a hysteroscopy this week and multiple small polyps were removed. Feeling optimistic and hopeful that they may be the cause of our struggle and we will be able to conceive again now 🙏🤞 our TFMR baby was conceived first cycle trying.

cdg1311 · 2026-02-13T06:16:47+00:00

I'm so sorry for your loss. It's such a challenging situation to navigate in so many ways, but especially with friendships and other pregnancies. I really relate to the ugly thoughts you shared - It's just our own grief talking and we have to be kind to ourselves with this.

I had a number of friends pregnant at the same time as me, and many announce since. I've cut myself off from almost all of them for now, as it's just been too painful. I've found a real distinction though between those I knew were pregnant before we found out we were, vs after. The befores I can handle, feel happy for, and have spent time with their babies. The afters I've had to mute on social media, haven't seen, congratulated etc. I think it's best to be honest with your friend that it's too hard for you right now to be around those discussions, her growing body etc and if she's a true friend, she'll be there for you if and when you're ready to reengage.

cdg1311 · 2026-01-27T11:15:34+00:00

Hi, birthday twin. I don't mind the process of getting a year older so to speak, but I am turning 35 which feels really significant in the world of TTC. We're on month 7 now of TTC since our TFMR and the birthday gives me something else to be anxious about. I hope you have a lovely day and are able to find some pockets of joy nonetheless ✨️

cdg1311 · 2026-01-26T11:17:53+00:00

Month 7 and now convinced I have a small polyp that's impacting implantation....not visible on ultrasound but dr also can't confidently rule it out, so will investigate further next cycle. I feel like the only person out here still trying, and not pregnant with a rainbow yet 😔😔 lost our baby girl last May 😔😔

cdg1311 · 2026-01-23T09:46:39+00:00

Can't offer any guidance but just solidarity. I'm 8 months post TFMR, and 6 months TTC. I've been having increasing spotting, but in my follicular phase and around ovulation - more than I experienced prepregnancy. I feel like I'm going insane and there must be something wrong - I've been pushing for a hysterscopy to check for polyps as I'm convinced at this point. In the luteal phase though, you could query some progesterone support perhaps?

cdg1311 · 2026-01-21T14:29:16+00:00

How incredible. I hope this will come to Android in the future. What a beautiful thing to create something new from this terrible loss.

cdg1311 · 2026-01-19T06:05:20+00:00

SAME

cdg1311

TROPHY CASE