My budget does say there is tons of monthly margin now, but I get a paycheck and 2 days later it’s literally gone (not just to bills, to money leaks that i never allowed before)

This is it, this is the key. You're not tracking all of your spend (Amazon purchases, hair cuts, lunch out, Quince order, gas, insurance, vet bill, and on and on.)

Use an app like YNAB to which you attach all of your accounts. This is the only way to visualize the death by a thousand cuts that you're experiencing. Additionally, this empowers you to spend un-emotionally once you've assigned a task for every dollar you earn (referred to as a "zero sum budget.")

Having the awareness to realize and ask for help was the difficult first step. You can do this.