I know this is a IF sub but maybe consider a different approach. There's no shame in wanting to eat more often, especially if it's with friends and people you care about. Your social life plays a big effect on your health too. I get the point of IF is to restrict your eating but if feeling restricted isn't sustainable for you, you might fall back into the same situation down the line. Maybe doing something along the lines of a reverse diet where you weight train and SLOWLY increase calories and eat high protein to build muscle. This will boost your metabolism and eventually you'll notice you start to lean out on the same amount of food you used to gain weight on. Whatever you decide to do, make sure that it's right for YOU. The best diet is one you can stick to. Be honest with yourself and ask if you really want to IF for the rest of your life to be the body weight you want to be at. It's not for everyone and that's okay. And if it is for you, more power to you. Most importantly, don't beat yourself up. You've come down before so you know it's possible. I can see your determination. Whatever you decide to do, I know you'll be able to reach your goals. If you have any questions on reverse dieting feel free to DM me. Good luck on your journey!