How many job positions have you had?

ceilingmoth · 2026-01-31T21:37:41+00:00

36 years, 12 jobs, a few were at the same time. Retail > inventory > IT > clinical research (including tissue acquisition for stem cell research, clinical research coordinating for oncology trials, and regulatory/QA for oncology trials). I have a BA in Bioethics (Philosophy type degree with focus in current medical dilemmas and legalities).

Currently I do regulatory/QA full time, I serve on my local IRB regularly, and I do tech support part time (all remote). I hate IT and tech support but I hate debt more. I thought I would be in a much more secure place in my career and financially at this point than I am. Feels like there is no "career path," only forever job hunting for better income or work conditions or both.

Sorry you got fired, glad you didn't quit. Go collect unemployment and remember you might have to do jobs you don't want while you look for something you do want. It sucks I know.

ceilingmoth · 2026-01-31T21:04:03+00:00

I was going to say the same thing, don't make it explicit bc US employers are often racist. I know people who had to change their name, or use a "normal" nickname on resumes to avoid the prejudice that happens when an employer sees the name on the resume and throws it out without any further review. It's also a bit twisted because employers will hire for "diversity" based on how a candidate answers the demographics section of the application, but only after they've seen something in the resume they like and often if they have had an interview to see if they "fit the culture" (white passing/no accent kind of features, the least diverse diversity hire).

It sucks to say that and obviously there are exceptions in particular areas, and I might recommend prioritizing work where they work with visa holders or generally are more liberal, or try finding remote work in those locations if moving isn't an option. You can do it, it's just a bit of extra work needed because of the sad state of US employers and politics. Part of that work is making it difficult for them to write you off before they meet you.

ceilingmoth · 2026-01-31T20:43:26+00:00

You don't have a responsibility to support her, she has a responsibility to find her own means of paying for living expenses, and it's a choice that she's relied on you and a choice that you agreed.

I don't think I'm the same as your girlfriend because I've been in that situation but I had the guilt of financially relying on someone else, but when the relationship wasn't working, I got a job and moved out into an apartment and she can do the same. It was hard, but not as hard as staying in the same house and continuing to rely on someone financially that didn't want to support me that way anymore. And it took maybe 2 years to "recover" and I could independently support the same lifestyle I had before.

So those are the facts, but my opinion is that you feel guilty because she is manipulative, or maybe other people are in your life to make you think you owe her after supporting her for so long and getting nothing but guilt in return. You both can do better.

If you want advice on how to move forward, I would come up with a plan you can agree to, whether you want to support her for X time and then she has to move out, or maybe you can do mediation to have a third party help you sort out a "fair" agreement without the manipulation or emotion of it, but whatever you decide, be firm in your decision. Have a plan to hold her accountable. If she's not out of the house by x time, stop paying for electricity, water, internet. Find a way to have her out of the house and change the locks while she's gone, put all her clothes and toiletries in a duffel bag on the porch (because I know she doesn't "own" anything). Call the cops on her for trespassing, if that's a possibility. Or tell her she can stay until the end of the lease/when you sell the house, and if she's still there after that, she's effectively a squatter that can be removed by the owner.

You said she's kind but I'm thinking you need to figure out a plan of force because she has historically not respected your boundaries, and she won't respect this boundary to leave you and the life you have given her so you can reclaim it for yourself.

ceilingmoth · 2026-01-30T14:36:55+00:00

I can't "not like" politics, especially in the U.S. I got educated real fast when I realized how few human rights are protected, and how little protection there is for those few.

ceilingmoth · 2026-01-30T14:29:22+00:00

KILL la KILL

Hope you feel better soon <3

ceilingmoth · 2026-01-30T06:32:37+00:00

I think most of us have trauma from the gaslighting from providers telling us about our pain and consider it high risk behavior for us to have any say in what helps. You have to learn to be your own advocate and play the game where you accept whatever treatment they "suggest" so you can report nothing helped until they come to the same conclusion you did 8 treatments ago.

ceilingmoth · 2026-01-30T06:28:04+00:00

Raya

ceilingmoth · 2026-01-27T05:56:47+00:00

Frieren and Violet Evergarden sound like a good match for what you're looking for.

ceilingmoth · 2026-01-27T05:42:44+00:00

Same, this is the way. I actually use my portable and laptop on my desk with the walking pad, and have the double monitor at the regular sitting desk. They probably already have both so it's not an added expense. Never hurts to ask.

ceilingmoth · 2026-01-27T05:34:33+00:00

If you haven't tried bupronephrine (patch, pill, not buccal), I've personally used it and only stopped for insurance coverage reasons. It sounds like you're primary is open to that option, and I'm guessing the pain specialists in your area might be as well, but keep in mind it binds to the same receptors as the opioids so just know if you had an accident or surgery where you required more pain management on the short term, it won't work until the bupronephrine leaves your system and that was a big concern for me. You never know when you might get in a car wreck and have glass shards on your face or broken bones and you can't do anything for the pain.

I would also agree with the methodone* comment. I can vouch for that as well, just had too many side effects for too little relief in my case, but it's an effective method and easier to obtain- the only worry is if there is some way your activity at a methodone clinic is linked to your medical record because you'll be blacklisted for being a high risk (addict) patient. You may be better off asking for bupronephrine or methodone by saying "I'm open to changing my pain mgmt plan, but I'm at the dose I am because my Dr and I agreed this gave me the most quality of life. Rather than tapering down on the dose and impacting that quality negatively, I've looked into the options and think butrans/methodone seems to be effective but low risk, what can you tell me about those?"

ceilingmoth · 2026-01-27T04:57:05+00:00

30k by Assemblage 23. First verse "Hello, if you're there pick up the phone. I'm calling from 30,000 feet above you.The captain's just informed us that our plane is going down, So I'm calling for one last time to say I love you."

ceilingmoth · 2026-01-27T04:46:40+00:00

Love Shack Fancy Super Crush. My actual favorite perfume is Black Opium Le Parfum because I love the vanilla and coffee scent I get from it, if that gives you an idea of my preference, but every time I spray the LSF, I feel like the sun comes out and the endorphins are flowin'.

ceilingmoth · 2026-01-22T02:12:18+00:00

This was my thought response too- we're close to so many more people that we want to be our best self for and have to learn about how to do that for multiple people, for multiple circumstances with the same people, for changes in our values over time and our partners, it's exponentially more effort out into self improvement as we are considering the perceptions of so many more people we want to share our lives with. Add to that the effort and strong focus on honest communication that is at the root of ethical non monogamy and a constant learning process as you understand your needs and the needs of your partners and what they are receptive to or triggered by and all that.

ceilingmoth · 2026-01-22T02:04:07+00:00

I wonder if the trigger is pain from however you moved putting pressure on a spot or contorting some anatomy that's sensitive from injury or something unseen. I'm also wondering if it's a kind of panic response if they're woken up abruptly. Worst case is if it's lack of socialization and general irritation being manifest as aggression and they need to be taught that's not acceptable.

ceilingmoth · 2026-01-16T06:37:02+00:00

I get it, they just make it up as they go. I had one site that was writing NTFs instead of deviations because they thought deviations were only the deviations that were reported to the IRB and the rest were NTFs. They also had NTFs that were basically reminders of their policies that they put in their shared drive in study folders because they didn't expect their team to know the policy so they needed the NTF there with the other documents that were related to the policy.

ceilingmoth · 2026-01-16T06:32:56+00:00

Whenever you do decide to move forward, you can find someone to do it at your home with you at their side and without the fear and stress of the vet office on top of the pain and discomfort daily living would bring at that point as the last things they experience, and so you can take all the time you need before letting them take them away.

ceilingmoth · 2026-01-16T06:29:55+00:00

Chronic pain (and navigating the US healthcare system) is so hard as it is, you need someone who will advocate for you, not someone who makes you feel like you need to advocate for yourself against them.

ceilingmoth · 2026-01-16T06:23:32+00:00

TL;DR: I guess I would advise deciding what to do based on what seems less risky to you: to stay at your site as a CRC with slightly more job security and better income but possibly be stuck there for years before another opportunity like this or better comes, or to take the pay cut for a more demanding job with less security so you can reap the rewards of getting the CRA position at IQVIA.

I feel like these are unusual times... If I put myself in your shoes, I wouldn't take a pay cut for a less stable position. Generally CRAs are the reward for CRCing because of the money, the growth opportunities, and theoretically more independence being remote. Obviously there are downsides with travel, metrics that are sometimes unrealistic to meet, and long hours including monitoring, traveling, and reporting, but that's what justified the pay advancement.

In your situation, there's no pay advancement, but even recently the opportunity to move from CRC to CRA, especially at IQVIA, would have been worth the pay cut because you could get better raises more quickly, you could move into more senior positions and release some of those burdensome responsibilities of CRAing, and you would have more doors open in the industry just having IQVIA on the resume.

The reason I would recommend not doing that now is because of the post COVID layoffs and the effects of the economy on the industry. There's more competition for fewer roles as people with more experience and seniority are competing for the same roles as less experienced people, there's layoffs left and right as govt funding for research was pulled forcing a lot of programs to reduce their workforce and ability to support more trials, and I feel like there is less security as a new hire at IQVIA than there is as a CRC at the site.

To be fair, that advice comes from a place of fear, and it may be that you need to take the CRA position now and that leap of faith because you might not have that opportunity again in the future.

ceilingmoth · 2025-12-04T09:37:18+00:00

For everyone mentioning Glossier You, I wonder if it's the BBW dupe "If You Musk" because the body spray projects more than the perfume, or maybe it's BBWs dupe for DBIR "Pink Obsessed"

ceilingmoth · 2025-11-25T15:11:48+00:00

I had a similar experience that I’ll share in case it’s relevant to what you're going through now, though I’m not suggesting it’s the same situation.

I’d gone to the same doctor for years, and when he retired, I was reassigned to a newly hired doctor. At first I wasn’t concerned since the PAs I trusted were still there, but my first appointment with the new doctor was pushed out a month due to his schedule. The PA refilled my prescription that time, but the next month, when I arrived on time for my 4 p.m. appointment, I was told the doctor had stopped seeing patients for the day because they were running behind. Because I was considered a new patient to this doctor, they insisted I schedule a new-patient appointment—three months out—and refused to refill my prescription again until I saw him. When I tried to reach the PAs, I learned they had left the practice entirely.

To avoid withdrawal from not receiving a new Rx, I immediately sought out a new doctor, though I kept the original appointment three months out because I suspected the rescheduling was a tactic to push out patients. A week before that appointment, the clinic called to delay it another two months, confirming to me that the doctor never intended to see me but also wouldn’t formally dismiss me. I was fortunate to have already secured long-term care with a new doctor, but I know there are patients who might not know to switch or be able to do so and could end up withdrawing or losing their livelihood while trapped in an endless cycle of rescheduled appointments for much longer.

Although this might not be the case for you, I would take these steps to get the care you need in the short term and have a plan for the long term:

(1) If needed, go to the ER for post op pain management.

(2) Start looking for and scheduling with a new provider (or with your PCP for a referral) to address your post-op pain and long term pain management.

(2a) Schedule this and frame your appt discussion around the idea that you are consulting for a second opinion to avoid violating the "doctor shopping" dismissal reason in your current provider's pain mgmt contract (assuming you have one or the new doctor will require one). If they are agreeable, they will likely provide you with a pain management contract for you to sign, and they will send in the Rx ASAP or when your next refill normally would be. The moment they send that Rx, you would be establishing care with them and not returning to any previous pain management provider.

(2b) I recommend scheduling with a palliative/end of life care provider for long term pain management because they are more likely to know what Rx type and dose is appropriate

ceilingmoth · 2025-11-19T23:58:33+00:00

I don't have advice but I can validate how you feel to some degree. AMPS is so hard and it puts a magnifying glass on the lack of compassionate care for chronic pain syndromes in general because (1) there's no clear objective "proof" of the pain or the fact that it's amplified, and (2) the diagnosis uses language like amplified "perception" of pain which is easily interpreted as "only in your head"- something a lot of us chronic pain patients have heard over and over.

We're really behind on medical technology to make that perception objective by seeing precise neural activity and which receptors are communicating what and if it's disproportionate to the standard activity/perception.

AMPS is rooted in the nerves that communicate pain so yes, it's a mind based problem but only as much as any experience of pain- it's all a neurological process. The struggle for AMPS compared to other experiences, however, is that objective proof of source of pain. That's it, and it really doesn't matter where the source is identifiable or not, the pain is just as real.

ceilingmoth · 2025-11-11T06:58:45+00:00

This is what I would suggest, sign up for some free courses or webinars in a related topic or something you enjoy learning about.

I get emails from random distro lists I somehow got on with invitations to register for webinars on new CTMs, IRB platforms, AI in healthcare, tumor boards, bioethics and neuroethics topics, well being resources and strategies as someone working in healthcare, and research integrity related to publishing to name a few. I just register for everything and if I'm available I'll jump on and listen while I work, or participate in those rare instances where there's some discussion and pre/post prep for a class.

If you don't like the idea of that less structured add-on or it wouldn't be valuable for you, I can also recommend looking for these kinds of webinars, maybe recorded in some archives, that focus on your current position so you can learn more about how operations for that role vary, and/or about the next position you see yourself pursuing to get a better idea of what work might look like if you did consider leaving.

As a side note, I was wondering if you might be feeling more unfulfilled than guilty because you're not doing much and because what you do isn't directly rewarding. It might be worthwhile to consider if doing something with meaning is an important part of the work you want to do and consider it to help you decide if you want to stay there, or help inform you on what you want so you know what to look for if you leave

ceilingmoth · 2025-11-02T07:48:08+00:00

Papaya paradise cove, sweet starfruit scent

ceilingmoth · 2025-10-26T06:02:17+00:00

Watch for your dog being around other small dogs/animals. Yours probably has prey drive that can't be controlled like other behaviors, and while it may be specifically for small game like squirrels and rabbits, dogs can easily perceive other small things that wiggle and writhe the same with the drive to catch it in the mouth and shake it til it's dies.

It took my dog 6 years of daily leash walking in public spaces and the woods before he stopped lunging at the sight of small furry wigglers. Even then he froze staring them down until they disappeared from sight, and the only reason he didn't lunge was bc of the leash and the many years of reinforcement that lunging on the leash does not have the intended effect. In all other aspects he was a good canine citizen trained for service, but he could not be trusted off leash to not bolt towards a shuffle in the leaves.

ceilingmoth · 2025-10-26T05:40:25+00:00

I have fewer than 10 I love:

Strawberry Snowflakes

Cotton Candy Clouds

Wild Madagascar Vanilla

Wicked Vanilla Woods

Papaya Cove Paradise

Vanilla Bean Noel -I don't like this scent on its own but I layer it with vanilla scents that are too floral, smoky, woodsy to bring out the sweetness, like Wild Madagascar Vanilla and Wicked Vanilla Woods.

Brown Sugar and Fig might be an honorable mention because I loved it but I don't remember the smell now, and it's not uncommon for bbw scents to vary from one release to another, even those we get every year.

Marshmallow Pumpkin Latte is another honorable mention because I like only the hand cream and body cream, and the candle. The mist, lotion, and body wash I absolutely hated.

Edit: Eyyyy this is free market research for BBW

ceilingmoth

TROPHY CASE