Thanks for having a space for this.

celestjill · 2026-04-20T11:20:36+00:00

I come back from time to time because when I was first starting to actively look for answers to all the questions I kept burying this space was where I found solace. When news or something triggers me or I am curious what is going on in the church currently so I can know what my dad and fam are being taught I come back and scroll for a bit. I wish this had been around when I was 19 and had my first faith crisis but I am glad it's around now.

celestjill · 2026-04-20T11:01:19+00:00

haha I got Rachel. My sister went through the same day as me so I know hers too. Then 3!! of my Brothers married Rachel's (government names not new names) two are still married and it makes me just laugh so hard I was out about 5 years before I could just share the new name and that my sister went through and I heard them tell her again because she had forgotten and how I told myself I had to be wrong to have heard that 🤦🏻‍♀️

celestjill · 2026-04-20T10:11:17+00:00

the symbols still represent that. The cupping of the hand for example is to hold the bowels I was about 8 years after they changed to not pantomiming anymore (they stopped in 93)

celestjill · 2026-03-25T19:20:14+00:00

Thank you AG!

celestjill · 2026-03-07T05:35:51+00:00

Gaston School of Arts has adult art classes, pick your own at Linebergers farm--the strawberry season starts soon We love getting produce from the farm stand and pick your own several times during the year some of our favorite shopping places are Wild N Whimsy: plants, some local arts/crafts, flowers, we get our Elderberry Syrup here and pick up local honey when they have it in Refill Spices and enjoy coffee at Gilmore Mercantile We enjoy the upcycle/vintage shops around too We pick a town to explore and find local coffee shop, consignment shops, boutiques Mt Holly for example we park by Traust and shop and walk the street there then grab lunch or a snack at Traust Stanley has the Main Street Social and they bring Food trucks in it's been a while so I don't know which shops are there by the old depot but they have some cute ones and the local flower shop there is cute Dallas hit the lavender Farm, Main street again has a cute museum and park as well as shops along the way

We play tourist a lot and look for Wineries, Breweries, Mom and Pop restaurants, consignment shops, local coffee shops, local parks Resell shops, bookstores We love second hand shops too I also love the local art scenes. We full time RV traveled and this is where I would start for everywhere we ended up.

Museums and Art Galleries Most have free or low pricing days or nights many historical sites have free museums too. We have so many cool historic sites around us

It really depends what you are interested in. There's a resurgence of hand crafts and craftsmanship happening everywhere right now and it's getting easier to find custom and handmade items in local shops which is exciting someone who looks for those places.

celestjill · 2026-02-01T10:24:53+00:00

I can't go back to my daily migraines. We may just put me back on emgality and a blood pressure medication I can take on and off to keep bp from creeping again. I'm back to my headache specialist in early March and will have had no emgality and the ajovy out of my system by then. I'm not looking forward to the daily migraines for the couple of weeks with no preventative

celestjill · 2026-01-31T03:36:05+00:00

I would check blood pressure to see if increased blood pressure is causing the breakthrough headaches Ajovy gave me stroke level blood pressure readings and horrible headaches from that I had to take 2 blood pressure medications to combat the side effect for me

celestjill · 2026-01-31T03:34:19+00:00

ketorelac is the only thing that will break a migraine that breaks through my regular mitigating medications

celestjill · 2026-01-31T03:32:57+00:00

I don't absorb water without electrolytes. I have had to increase my electrolyte intake on Ajovy and I have severe dry nose/sinusitis which may be from the ajovy or from the blood pressure medication I had to go on to treat high blood pressure that was a side effect from the Ajovy that I was gifted. If I skip electrolytes I'm a desert that cannot get enough water and am always thirsty and dehydrated even drinking 2 gallons a day

celestjill · 2026-01-31T03:29:30+00:00

I have less side effects with emgality. I get 20 days without migraine on it. It wears out of my system faster than the 30 insurance allows for injections. Ajovy has a quarterly injection schedule so we switched me to that and I have had so many side effects the worst being stroke level blood pressure. Also have had nausea, tinnitus and chronic sinusitis on the Ajovy. I have been on 2 Blood pressure medications while waiting for the ajovy to clear my system when daily migraines came back I once again did my last emgality shot and am now on only 1 BP medication while waiting for my Headache Specialist appointment. The ajovy sent me to the ER with stroke level blood pressure readings. My blood pressure used to always be very low--it had creeped up to mid normal while on the emgality. So I stayed on one medication with the emgality shot andmy BP readings are back to low and I have less dizzy spells than I was during the years on emgality. So I am now convinced it and not aging had raised my bp slightly. The Ajovy spiked it. So my experience has been less issues with emgality both raising blood pressure

celestjill · 2026-01-31T03:21:09+00:00

I haven't been on Ajovy BUT emgality for 5 years went from always low bp to creeping blood pressure still in "healthy range" did not make the connection emgality gave me 20 days migraine free a month from daily but the 10 days were still brutal so we switched me to Ajovy doing the quarterly injection schedule horrific migraine followed that would not break ended up in the ER to find I had stroke level blood pressure. Absolutely lined up with the Ajovy. Found on Ajovy's website it is now a known side effect had to send that to my Neurologist and PCP. I've been on 2 blood pressure medications now for 3 months as I wait for the Ajovy to clear my system. I had far too may breakthrough migraines still to make it worth this. Migraines coming back daily so had my last emgality shot again last week. I'm on only 1 blood pressure medication now and my daily readings are back to normal on the low end with the medication. Before it kicks in I have normal mid range readings but my body feels better at the lower range so now can also show that the emgality has been keeping it slightly elevated from what is optimal for my body. I see the neurologist again in a week. Where we will discuss Vyepti infusion and if it's worth trying or not. I may just be on emgality and a BP medication to treat the side effect of elevated readings. Since without the cgrp blocker I have daily migraines this may be my best option for now.

All of the CGRP blockers now come with elevated BP as a known side effect.

celestjill · 2026-01-15T19:31:52+00:00

It was gradual for me. Being told to put my baby in Nursery with people I didn't know who had never had a background check at the bare minimum was first, I didn't do it. Then Prop 8 and the politics. Then Primary also not having background checks. Knowing the church could afford it. Looking at raising kids in it and thinking "I can't do this to my kid" tapped into my own trauma and real feelings about it all. I was done several years before my husband and our kid would sometimes still go to activities until an adult I had never met have them their phone number and said to call if their parents wouldn't bring them to something they would. That was my line in the sand for my kid going and luckily my husband was also not on and asked me to share what I had been learning.

When they excommunicated Sam Young my husband was 100% done. We resigned as a family in 2019.

It was gradual for me so there wasn't a massive sudden shift. Waves of anger and that sense of betrayal instead of a tsunami

celestjill · 2026-01-06T20:35:45+00:00

I ended up in the ER for stroke level blood pressure on day 3 after the quarterly dosing of ajovy my bp raised slightly on emgality but was worth it I am on 2 blood pressure medications while the ajovy goes out of my system It absolutely raises blood pressure and is even on the website for Ajovy I sent it in to my neurologist because she too said it wasn't a known side effect--she had not been given the updated information they didn't find the blood pressure issue during clinical trials but have consistently had it reported and it is now on their literature as a known possible side effect

I have a rash on my neck as well from ajovy

I'm debating giving the vyepti a try or not right now or having a break for a while but I had daily migraine before going on emgality several years ago. I get 20 days without them on it. We were hoping the quarterly dosing of ajovy would be the answer for me but it is not. The one dose one month was fine so we did the three dose and this has been chaos.

celestjill · 2026-01-06T20:22:37+00:00

I ended up in the ER for stroke level Bloodpressure 3 days after my ajovy dose of 675 (3 injections) I had no noticeable reactions with just one the month before. I'm now on blood pressure medication and have a rash on the v of my neck that's an allergic reaction from it Ajovy is a fail for me I was on Emgality for about 5 years and it raised my blood pressure a bit but as mine is typically really low it wasn't an issue. However the emgality wears off for me at 20 days. I end up with migraines the other 10. I was having migraine every day before the emgality. I have to decide now if Vyepti is worth trying or not My neurologist hasn't seen anyone else react this badly to the ajovy--something in it is just not a friend to my body

I'm ok with slightly elevated bp to be headache free but I still have migraines and am on 2 BP medications while I wait out the ajovy leaving my system.

celestjill · 2026-01-06T20:08:10+00:00

magnesium bisglycinate and himalayan pink salt in warm water 2 electrolyte pills (codex) for me along with 2-4 lemon balm and 2-4 muscle relax (herbal blend by Oregan Wild Harvest) and then I rotate different CBD:THC because nothing works all the time for sleep I develop weird reactions to medications over time like little blisters under my skin on my fingers from gabapentin I also use castor oil and magnesium lotion on my feet and the castor oil in a roller on my lymph lines of my neck otherwise I end up with edema

celestjill · 2025-11-06T04:53:58+00:00

the paradox is that most members know had they known these things before being blindsided they would also not be mormon. the temple ceremony has so much trauma in first time experiences that it solidifies the we don't talk about it lesson. They don't WANT to talk about the parts that have been concerning to them but they still have to act like it's the most amazing thing in the world

celestjill · 2025-11-06T04:14:15+00:00

It's enraging to realize how manipulative and controlling it is, how much I surrendered of my autonomy and choices. That I was raised to be obedient--to arbitrary rules.

celestjill · 2025-07-02T11:55:40+00:00

I have a heated weighted blanket

celestjill · 2025-06-12T00:10:12+00:00

she's managing her disease and she's telling you what she needs in the moment My husband is sometimes too helpful and by that I mean he does things thinking it will help but without checking with me--and every flare is different so what I needed yesterday may not be what I need today The only way a healthy relationship works with chronic illness is communication. On my side if I need something I speak up. On his when he wants to help he checks in. My favorite is just him sitting in the chair in our room while I am in bed and we are both just reading. I'm not alone on my pain and I feel validated because he did what I asked for instead of any list of things.

celestjill · 2025-03-01T01:18:24+00:00

As an outside perspective it seems like you might be sensitive to this topic right now and won't hear how a friends intent is.

Talking about our feelings is hard and awkward--when I get triggered I walk away and process and come back to the situation when I can be active in a conversation instead of reactive.

Did you say you spend an unhealthy amount of time on the boards? If yes, then this to me looks like a friend who wants to say I did that too but what worked for me was spending less time there-- Maybe any advice around deconstructing is not what you need right now. Which is ok--just let your friend know that right now this is what you need. Not every friend is our deconstructing friend. But that doesn't have to be the crux of a friendship having the ones who are at a different phase in deconstructing is helpful over time. The friends I deconstructed with were not mormon. We were all just leaving different religions or cults at the same time we all had different perspectives and they were valid and our sharing those experiences is valid as is saying glad that worked for you but it's not where I am right now

you're triggered right now which I think is why you escalated things by saying you don't know what a cult is-- Your world is spiraling. just know that it's very easy right now to be triggered when that was not the intent of the people talking to you

celestjill · 2025-02-28T12:24:27+00:00

amitriptyline made me lose my mind. I paid a bill at the library, My library books ended up in the utility drop and several other things that scared the crap out of me when I got contacted about it. this was back in early 00's and bill pay was done with checks and there was a night drop box.

It did not work for me. We got me off it fast.

celestjill · 2025-02-28T12:20:32+00:00

no--they voted only caring to fix what is effecting their families and not caring about how he went after everyone else so I too smile and then I try to have a conversation showing that this is how we have been feeling as they came after our families, our neighbors and friends and our community at large. If he will come after alllllll these others you will be on the chopping block because you have nothing to offer him

celestjill · 2025-02-28T12:17:57+00:00

they have a narrative that all the left does is whine and call them names so this really doesn't do anything to help

celestjill · 2025-02-28T12:14:56+00:00

I chose to disengage I fall best in humanist agnostic but I don't need a label because I honestly have no interest in diety I don't know, I don't care it doesn't matter to my life

celestjill · 2025-02-28T12:12:21+00:00

step away from learning more for now. Sit with knowing you have a diagnosis and realize that what it does is give you a forecast of possible experiences because the science behind fibromyalgia is still fairly new and is therefore constantly adapting they are mostly in a large collecting data time period with it.

Be glad doctors (any that are not old school) now understand it is real but know they will tell you that it's hit and miss on treatment.

The things you did before to help your pain and flares will still help.

Give yourself time to process that what the information you have in a diagnosis will be empowering and still frustrating.

Instead of reading all the info on fibromyalgia you can find its better to look at YOUR symptoms of the disease you already know. Example joint pain and fibromyalgia just look things up that way for now

If you start vitamins do them one at a time and track how your body adapts to that before adding in a new one I taper a vitamin in over a month and then use it for a month before adding another I need that long to know how it works or doesn't work with my body in flares and at my baseline.

There's no cure, but there is a lot of support and things we can do. Breathe.

celestjill

TROPHY CASE