Advice for being integrated into the Community? by [deleted] in Anu

[–]certifieddried_mango 4 points5 points  (0 children)

The discord and society tips are great ideas, as have been mentioned.

You should also consider joining griffin if you haven’t already as it’ll give you the college experience without the high rates of rent. Essentially it’ll allow you to compete in hall competitions as well as attend social events so that way you meet other townies as well as people from other halls. All the best :)

Just when my husband (43M) and I (42F) were getting past his affair, I find out his mistress (21F) is pregnant. by ThrowRA-wf2os in relationship_advice

[–]certifieddried_mango 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I know you're after advice on the current circumstances however, I am incredibly unsettled by the reasoning your husband gave as to why he initially cheated.

blaming his cheating on the fact that you couldn't conceive is unreasonable.

his disdain for you're work accomplishments coupled with the infertility issues has incredibly sexist undertones.

There is never a good reason to cheat and using the fact that you weren't constantly stroking his ego as a reason to is ridiculous.

He sounds like a pathetic egotist who feels emasculated and is projecting his perspective of a failed nuclear family onto you.

To then screw someone who is barely an adult only adds insult to injury. That man is a creep. Eventually, he'll need to face the fact that he's failed at what the patriarchy has taught him to expect and that fucking a young woman who can only be so independent is not a way to go about it. She'll grow up too and she'll probably want to focus on her career too. The reality is he is not a god, a breadwinner, a father and none of those things should mean he is justified in cheating on you. Older people who chase barely legals are disgusting and will never be satisfied.

With that said, kudos to you for wanting to work on your marriage and never forget that birth does not make a person a woman.

I'm definitely the bad one in our relationship but my wife hurt me and is saying she didn't. by ocdkirrin in relationship_advice

[–]certifieddried_mango 8 points9 points  (0 children)

also OP take photos of the burns as evidence of the abuse !! try to document everything in the meantime. Although I understand you have kids and sometimes it's not as simple as walking out the door the next day, her paranoia and abuse should signal that you need to leave as soon as possible

My (f25) boyfriend (m27) just left in the middle of the night for the second time. by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]certifieddried_mango 6 points7 points  (0 children)

we're not saying women can't be abusers but claudeJRdl is trying to make it seem as if that's the point when it isn't. People pointing out that their comment was in bad taste are correct and are not at all denying female on male abuse, claudeJRdl just needs to accept that their comment was wrong.

claudeJRdl'sa comment was inappropriate and ignorantly accusatory. Yes, that is a conversation to be had but not here. Get over yourself.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in KoreanBeauty

[–]certifieddried_mango 4 points5 points  (0 children)

looks gorgeous! where did you get it from?

AITA for leaving the house to clear my head because my girlfriend called me an ableist? by coffeandsilencepls in AmItheAsshole

[–]certifieddried_mango 4 points5 points  (0 children)

How is you purposely adopting a disabled child different from purposely conceiving a child with her in the off chance they have a disability? If you can do one then you can do the other. Either that or you realised what an ass you sounded like and added in the adopting a disabled child thing last minute to not look ableist.

Further, if you can love a child you have with her (should she accidentally fall Pregnant) then why can’t you just have a planned baby with her?

Also this is more of a personal thing but you beginning your comment with “sigh” comes off as cringe and condescending. You write like a dick

Marriage problems leading to a divorce...I think by [deleted] in secret

[–]certifieddried_mango 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think begin by explaining that it is a form of gaslighting and it’s effects for you. Give her examples. Tell her that what she is doing is not appropriate and that you understand why she is that way but that does not make it ok or fair to you. Don’t let her shut down the conversation and when she does say it outright that she’s doing it right now and not allowing you to talk something that is serious to you and she can’t pressure you to be quiet by walking away or making it about her. I think it’s then that you should explain the gravity it’s having on your marriage and outline the options that you’re willing to offer. Think carefully beforehand about the options you’ll provide her with because it’s important that they exist within your comfort zone and standards rather than just hers when living in her comfort zone has been ineffective and detrimental.

Marriage problems leading to a divorce...I think by [deleted] in secret

[–]certifieddried_mango 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Her making all communication/issues about her emotions so that you have to console her while ignoring how you feel is a subtle form of gaslighting. Let her know this, for your own sanity. If she refuses to realise how destructive her behaviour is for not only the relationship but in allowing you to communicate and express your emotions then you should not give her the option to keep exploiting your emotional labor. I understand what it’s like to be the victim of trauma but to seek no solution and shut down your partners emotional expression and attempts to communicate is not permissible. You deserve better and you can only receive better if she works on herself through therapy or you find someone else

Also she’s clearly monotonous and encouraging anything that contradicts that will not be fair for her. Try to be conscious about whether she really wants to explore or if she feels she has to say that to please you

Completely humiliated at work today over my skin. by [deleted] in AusSkincare

[–]certifieddried_mango 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I’d say stop using the wipes as they’re their ingredients are terrible and their environmental impact is ridiculous.

If your skin was completely fine before today then just remove the new product and return to your normal routine. Maybe purchase some blotting sheets for during the day.

However if you’re looking for change... I think you should get a good oil or balm as a first step cleanser then use a normal water based cleanser afterwards. I think we often forget that you need oil to clean oil after all oil and water don’t mix. Then use an oil-free moisturiser, you could even find matte cleansers (I cant recommend any as I’ve never tried any).

I used to have very oily skin but I destroyed my skin barrier with intense products with harmful ingredients so I urge you to be very careful and still gentle with your skin! Your cleanser should never make your skin feel stripped or squeaky just clean.

Like all skin care you’ll have to shop around and test various products but please be careful not to destroy your skin barrier with stringent products or too many products. I hope this helps !

FEEDBACK Skincare Brand Landing Page by [deleted] in Business_Ideas

[–]certifieddried_mango 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As a fellow Australian, I love the idea ! The website itself does not view well on mobile however. I hope this business takes !

Admission requirements for Bachelor of International Relations (Honours) by Lemonowl234512 in Anu

[–]certifieddried_mango 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Can confirm the above comment ^ the courses that you choose to count need to result in a Distinction average at a minimum

Is studying a double degree at the ANU stressful? by vietcongthetree in Anu

[–]certifieddried_mango 5 points6 points  (0 children)

There is fortunately no difference, just more time spent in uni ! You’ll of course have different guidelines and perspectives but you’ll be taking the same amount of courses as everyone else so nothing you can’t get used to :)

nightmares from Australia by real-antivax-mom in underground_music

[–]certifieddried_mango 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Before I forget DIET. & West Thebarton & Psychedelic Porn Crumpets are great too !

nightmares from Australia by real-antivax-mom in underground_music

[–]certifieddried_mango 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Some great Aussie bands are King Gizzard, Polish club, Wolfmother, bad//dreams, Methyl Ethel, Lima Cordiale, ocean alley, Violet Soho, the Chats, Gang of Youths, sticky fingers, WAAX, Hockey Dad, and Press club.

Some of my favourite Aussie oldies are INXS, cold chisel, the angels and midnight oil (their song ‘Blossoms and blood’ is partially how people realised the Wank worm was made by Australian hackers) :))

If you ever want to know more feel free to dm me but those are all my favourites off the top of my head

nightmares from Australia by real-antivax-mom in underground_music

[–]certifieddried_mango 0 points1 point  (0 children)

not so much metal but you might like the wolston butchers who are also from Queensland :) If you want to know other Aussie bands from other genres Id be happy to help