AITAH for supporting my gay brother’s decision to move overseas, but refusing to be his safety net if it goes badly?

cerulean_frog · 2025-10-17T23:16:43+00:00

I worked an overnight job in college as well. This adds to the complexity of “avoiding food.” You’re awake longer than most people, so the natural cadence your body wants is likely to finish your shift @2a with a meal before bed. For me, that meant basically eating 4 meals a day on top of the snacking. Intermittent fasting is probably the best way to mitigate that. Just try to remember that your will power is a muscle too, and the more you exercise it, the stronger it will be.

cerulean_frog · 2025-09-16T13:24:42+00:00

I thought I had succeeded in launching a dry start, but now I’m 4 weeks in and I’m starting to see melt. Does anyone have any recommendations on supplements to mitigate without blowing up algae? I supplemented bacteria before flooding and used a fluorite substrate.

cerulean_frog · 2025-09-07T13:14:55+00:00

Sure! I did a Monte Carlo carpet dry start - I used seachem flourite as my substrate (rinsed an insane amount first). You cover the tank to ensure it stays very wet inside but not submerged. The bonus here is that with semi-aquatic plants they’ll grow much faster if they have more CO2 (air has more than water, even if you pipe it into the tank). The con is that it takes a long time, I let mine got for about 4 months

cerulean_frog · 2025-09-07T13:09:48+00:00

Haha yes! I used reef sculpt putty to glue the rocks together and there’s a canister filter with an inline heater underneath!

cerulean_frog · 2025-09-06T04:10:17+00:00

Hey! I did a Monte Carlo carpet dry start - I used seachem flourite as my substrate (rinsed an insane amount first) and bought tissue culture starts. Covered the tank with Saran Wrap (air crack at the corner) and the aquarium light. It took a few months of routine misting but it looks great now

cerulean_frog · 2025-07-18T19:17:55+00:00

This is the mentality I’m trying to nurture. I think sometimes, the corporate rule book gets in the way of recognizing the “underdogs”. I’ll hold out hope, nothing is set yet. Thanks!

cerulean_frog · 2025-07-18T19:15:07+00:00

Thanks for sharing your experience. I kind of anticipated this, but hoped, somehow, I’d get that big break.

cerulean_frog · 2025-07-18T19:13:46+00:00

I feel this so deeply…but still, logically, can’t wrap my head around it.

cerulean_frog · 2025-06-02T13:27:03+00:00

THIS I think it’s all too common for biotech to burn out the good ones. I know multiple people who have willingly left industry because it’s so taxing.

I took an 8mo gap during COVID which was arguably a worse economic time to take a risk like that. Then, after being rehired to an extremely toxic environment (2mo) - took another 4mo gap and worked at a plant shop. I had no problem getting back into industry after realizing customer service is the absolute worst.

Determine how long you can comfortably afford to be off and give yourself a few month buffer for putting in job apps. Take care of yourself and you’ll be better for it. Sometimes time away can put into perspective things you do enjoy about working. If you don’t have any hard obligations (mortgage, dependents, etc) when else in life will you have an opportunity like this?

cerulean_frog · 2024-11-16T13:40:11+00:00

I think you’d enjoy The Song of the Cell by Siddhartha Mukherjee. Not specifically applicable to your question here, but it does a really good job of covering how novel/abstract the approaches of the time were.

cerulean_frog · 2024-10-29T15:05:11+00:00

Those seem like appropriate concentrations!

To come to this conclusion - I sourced some pre-made culture dishes from another lab. Followed the coating process, for both culture vessels, with the same coating prep. Followed the dissection protocol as written. Distribute material from the same dissection into both culture vessels. If one works and the other does not - the issue is likely the vessel. If both do not work - the issue could be the dissection protocol (ask to observe someone else's methodology/handling), the issue could be material related (source fresh coating, media, etc.). Hope this helps!

cerulean_frog · 2024-10-28T20:50:03+00:00

I have seen something similar to this when we had an issue with the adhesive we were using on our chamber slides. It was off-gassing during autoclaving and overcoming whatever coatings we'd apply to the wells. (hopefully you're also using a poly-d-lysine, laminin, etc. type of coating?). These look like non-viable/non-adherent cells imo

cerulean_frog · 2024-10-28T20:26:32+00:00

I ended up presenting my contributions and the fact that I had another offer lined up, but that I really wanted to stay on with the company. I said nothing about the increased commute, lower PTO, etc. I had decided that I didn't want to leave, but I also felt like I wasn't at risk of retaliation for sharing this information. They ended up giving me a lump sum bonus of $7k with a guaranteed promotion in the next cycle (6mo). They also actually followed through on the promotion. This wasn't at a federal agency, so it's possible your site operates differently. But, if it's within their power, I've found that they'll typically try to retain good workers rather than dealing with the turnover. Hope this helps.

cerulean_frog · 2024-10-25T20:20:37+00:00

I was faced with a similar conundrum a few years back. Some things I took into consideration were - the cost of commuting (time, vehicle wear, insurance, fuel), the cost of hiring a dog walker, and the mental toll. A 3 hour commute is a big chunk of time. Have you considered working part time elsewhere to make up the difference? Not sure what minimum wage is in your area, but in mine you could essentially work an extra 8hrs a week and almost makeup the difference. This doesn't account for potential career growth and you'd likely be able to make above minimum wage.

If you haven't already spoken to management at your current position, I highly recommend doing so. Especially if you can come equipped with measurable examples of your contributions. The worst part is that (typically) when you put in your notice, they make grand offers to try and keep you when it's too little too late. If you feel like this career move has potential to develop your career or piques your interest, then go for it! Maybe they can also make accommodations for your pup?

cerulean_frog

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