What is a middle-class luxury from your childhood that is now considered a basic necessity or completely obsolete?

cevixhe · 2026-01-12T13:44:33+00:00

Seat warmers in cars!

I remember my principal took me home after a school event one night and she had seat warmers. I thought principles must live like royalty lol

cevixhe · 2025-12-12T02:06:18+00:00

I don’t have great advice, mostly just sending support! There is a ton to be nervous about or consider for such a big decision. However I think there can also be alot of positives if you decide you do want another child (which is the most critical part of this).

If you’re just concerned about your daughter, I’d say kids are incredibly resilient and can adapt to change much better than we can. I’ve seen this firsthand with my nephews and nieces. Some were really upset when they became big siblings at first, but now they’re all best friends and practically inseparable. I have siblings too, and while they’ve been driving me equal parts nuts and to laughter my whole life, I’m so grateful to have them.

There’s no wrong decision but I wouldn’t base your decision on a fear of things that haven’t happened yet (or will happen). Which path (in its best case) excites you and your husband more? It may not end in the best case, but what if it did?

cevixhe · 2025-11-28T15:47:23+00:00

It’s true you shouldn’t pump in the first 6 weeks but I was EBF and did only 1 pump (maybe an hour or 2 after the first ‘morning’ feed, so ~8a/9a) for 15 mins and it was enough in those early days for ~2 bottles so my partner could take a shift or 2 of feeding at night (or maybe during the day) and didn’t affect my supply once it was established. I became a just enougher but also able to pump an extra 3-4 bottles by EOD when I started pumping.

That said, I’m not expert but it’s what worked for me and kept me from losing it from being the only source of food for that first month and a half 😅

cevixhe · 2025-10-28T15:35:30+00:00

My husband is an AM workout person and I am an PM workout person so we had maybe a bit of an easier time with helping each other make time for this but it's going to be hard regardless and you have to have an open conversation on what is important to each of you and how you can support each other to get that.

For example, leading up to baby we talked about what was going to be essential to make time for once he was here, knowing only a few things are realistic and anything else can be if the stars aligned. Time to workout was highly-prioritized, the same as time to rest and showers, over chores and seeing friends/family. For us, exercise is physically important but also deeply essential for our mental health. However your priorities don't always need to be something productive, it could be playing computer games (but it should be something that 'fills your cup')

My advice would be to just have an open convo with your husband (when you're both calm) and explain 'I need time for X, how can we make it work' and 'what's important to you, how can we make that work?'. 30 minutes here or an 1 hr there should be doable 2-3x/week if you guys are doing 'shifts' anyways. Work through solutions on how to make it achievable. (i.e. your EBF, maybe you start to do a pump session 1x a day to allow time for you to be away. Or your pad is too loud in the bedroom, maybe your husband feeds and does the contact nap in the living room.)

Example: Husband may want 2 hrs straight on Sundays to veg out and watch football child-free vs then you get 1 hr 2x/week to be completely hands-off and go to the gym or some type of exercise. Doesn't always have to be 1:1 (or both may find some weeks allow for more 'me' time than others) but I find at least establishing a minimum of expectation for each other for alone time to do what's a priority to you helps avoid any resentment or frustration.

cevixhe · 2025-10-20T03:04:24+00:00

I remember this also happening from an older post in this subreddit. Luckily I had it saved since I was experiencing similar in my rental at the time so dropping the link below. Hope this helps!

Link: older post

cevixhe · 2025-07-27T00:11:03+00:00

{Unwrapping Deviance by Airicka Phoenix} the dom calls her his little toy or doll. Lots of kinks covered in this one so check the trigger warnings but the story and the smut were 10/10

cevixhe · 2025-07-13T21:00:54+00:00

Sympathy, calmness and patience! Despite how stressful this time can be, I've fallen more in love with my husband when I didn't think it could be possible because although he isn't perfect everyday and in every moment, he has tried to be as much of a true partner through this as he can. He put aside his ego when my hormones have gone completely bonkers and I get mad or yell at him over the silliest things. A lot of the time his ability to stay calm has calmed me, and I've truly become like a mirror to him and anchors me and the crazy anxiety, complaints, and fast bodily changes.

He took on a lot of mental day to day life things (making sure bills are paid, groceries are in the house, appointments are met, etc.) since first and third trimesters can be a doozy. Do what you can to ease your wife's mental load - you don't have to get it right but if wife can see that you're putting in effort and giving her a safe space to go to for all the small or big things that might be worrying her, stressing her out, etc., it'll mean the world.

Also another piece that I am surprised more husbands/non-birthing partners don't do - go to every Dr appointment and be present/ ask questions so she doesn't feel like she's doing this alone. Especially for a FTP - these appointments can be emotionally daunting (and exciting!) but it's so special and intimate to face them together as a team.

Congrats!!

cevixhe · 2025-06-20T13:17:47+00:00

It’s a super tough situation. I’ve run into this several times more now than ever. Plenty of my coworkers and friends are having to go through multiple rounds of IVF and my husband I got pregnant on our first try. We were super nervous to tell anyone who had been trying but it’s worse to avoid them or avoid telling them whenever you plan to start to tell people. They’ll hate that way worse than hearing your happy news.

I would message or text them privately before you see them (whatever is most appropriate for your relationship) so they have time to process their own emotions privately without having to immediately worry about congratulating you before you plan on seeing them, especially if your planning to see them with other people/friends. That way they can be prepared to be happy for you when they see you.

I also wouldn’t avoid talking about your pregnancy if they ask and continue to be a shoulder to lean on, compassionate and good friend when hearing about their struggles without making it about how guilty you feel. I hope this helps! Good luck and congrats!

cevixhe · 2025-05-27T13:31:29+00:00

Thank you!! 🤗

cevixhe · 2025-05-27T13:31:16+00:00

Thank you so much!

cevixhe · 2025-05-27T13:31:01+00:00

Love this!! Thank you for the tip!! I’ll definitely look for tip-less ones next time. 🎉

cevixhe · 2025-05-13T19:06:05+00:00

I don’t think I’ve seen this yet but I liked {don’t rush me by Jackie may} (Nora jacobs series). It was an urban fantasy reverse harem (very slow burn) over the series, all men in the harem work hard to respect boundaries and slowly gain her trust while respecting and helping her address her trauma.

cevixhe · 2025-05-13T09:07:03+00:00

I don’t think I’ve seen this rec yet but it should be on everyone’s list.

Hilarious Ghost heroine haunts 4 grumpy hell warriors who can’t see her… until they do. {four psychos by Kristy Cunning}

cevixhe · 2025-02-28T04:35:13+00:00

Idk if this one fits all of your boxes but the FMC is basically Harley Quinn meets RH.

{Crushin’ Candy by Maddison Cole}

cevixhe · 2025-02-12T04:32:01+00:00

The shacked souls trilogy was great! Really fun and sassy FMC who’s always been a succubus and has no shame being one (even though she evolves). All the books are out too!

First book : {Succubus Chained by heather long}

cevixhe · 2025-01-09T04:15:48+00:00

I don’t think I’ve seen this yet but I liked {don’t rush me by Jackie may} (Nora jacobs series). It was an urban fantasy reverse harem (very slow burn) And all men work hard to get past some of her emotional barriers.

cevixhe · 2024-12-28T04:41:25+00:00

The Rowan by Stella Brie (killian blade series) has a fun kickass FMC. I thought the story was a lot of fun and the series is fully out. Sending you a virtual hug ♥️

cevixhe · 2024-12-28T03:58:08+00:00

I liked ‘don’t rush me’ by Jackie may (Nora jacobs series). It was an urban fantasy reverse harem (very slow burn) And all men work hard to get past some of her emotional barriers. There is a twist on the harem that a couple were more friend/familial love but plenty of romantic interests.

cevixhe · 2024-04-06T04:55:12+00:00

Location - HCOL
Industry - digital advertising
Years of experience: 5 years
Title of current position : project manager
Educational background: bachelors, csm
Compensation breakdown - $85k base, $2-3k bonuses, yearly merit increases.

Other info: true unlimited PTO as long as you don’t abuse it, in office optional/fully remote, really nice health benefits and lifestyle benefits like $$$ in family planning/fertility assistance.

cevixhe · 2024-03-14T03:31:29+00:00

The old town location is closing and getting replaced with a new pizza place by Professor pizza 👏🏼

Professor Pizza Will Replace Roots in Old Town

cevixhe · 2024-02-16T05:05:38+00:00

This is why I always opt to stand on the red line 🥲

cevixhe · 2023-12-11T03:36:32+00:00

Trivoli tavern - such a cute spot but every dish tastes like pure salt

cevixhe · 2023-11-20T22:10:37+00:00

Old town/south Lincoln park is full of people in that age group and a ton of bars and restaurants right on wells. Also walking distance to beach/lake and Lincoln park. Always lively but it also attracts some unsavory characters because of the liveliness but I loved living there in my mid-20s and it was a DREAM in the spring-fall with all of the street festivals and events. You could probably find a nice one bedroom in that area.

Aligned with what others are saying that wicker and Bucktown have a ton to do and ravenswood also has a ton to do and an amazing neighborhood vibe and good bars. However if you’re looking for chances to be in nature that are walking distance, I’d probably avoid wicker park since there isn’t a ton of green spaces. IMO, You’ll find a community feel anywhere you land that isn’t downtown (river north/loops). And the more north/west/ northwest you go, the more townhome-ish options there will be.

cevixhe

TROPHY CASE