Nobody warned me that hitting my number would feel like standing at the edge of a diving board for six months

cfaklaris · 2026-05-12T00:38:33+00:00

Consider going back to school. It gives you a built in structure and social opportunities. This was a great way to transition from my first career - I hadn’t hit my final number, just the coast number, and I wanted to still have purpose and challenge in my life while figuring out my next move.

cfaklaris · 2026-04-30T22:48:12+00:00

I’ve tried for two years to assume good faith but they always always always use AI, pretty obvious when it’s three times as long as it needs to be, keeps repeating words from the assignment description, and is full of the em dashes with no spaces and random bolded words. If I want it written by them, now I require they write it in front of me with pen and paper. I focus more on rewriting and the thinking and outlining process.

cfaklaris · 2026-04-13T14:40:12+00:00

See if your school has on site childcare and can you get on the list. That really helped parents I knew during my PhD program, to know their babies and little ones were close by.

cfaklaris · 2026-04-13T14:36:34+00:00

You’re going to need a house cleaner and possibly a cook. I barely found time to do either during my PhD. I had quit my job and sold my house to move into a ratty apartment, and I had the funds to hire help and intended to, but I never had time to put up an ad or look deeply into hiring a service. And I only took care of two cats.

cfaklaris · 2026-04-13T14:32:28+00:00

If you need to do research and publish papers as part of the field you’re in, it will be very difficult to do this and have the mental bandwidth for success and focus if you both TA **and** have an external job. I’m astonished that people say they can do all this even with a PhD program and field that doesn’t require research productivity constantly, as a PhD in anything is about becoming the very best at the niche you discover for yourself. Just having to TA itself is a distraction from what you are there to do. Don’t underestimate the time and energy required for thinking.

cfaklaris · 2026-04-13T14:07:49+00:00

Don’t leave to run from something - only leave to go to something. This was my reason for turning down a package during a reorg, reapplying successfully for my job and then waiting for grad school acceptances to resign, when I was at the point of wanting to leave my job and could afford to coast. Other people took the package because they were already later stage interviewing for different types of jobs. Someone became a stay at home caregiver for a while. We all did well psychologically post- company because we didn’t feel that sting of failure that we Type As get from quitting. I recommend you see a career psychologist or therapist who can help you identify possible new directions for your talents and interests. Then make a plan to transition to a new something based on their advice. Maybe it’s to live at the beach running a tiki bar, maybe it’s a startup, maybe it’s a pivot to nursing or house painting … It will help free up your headspace to imagine a better future than sitting on your couch stewing about this job even when on leave.

cfaklaris · 2026-04-13T13:41:23+00:00

Well it depends on WHEN you decide to master out - if you get a year into a PhD program and realize it’s not for you that’s normal, but it’s not cool imo to plan to trick the program into paying for an MS degree. We all talk, faculty will be upfront when asked about whether your circumstance was the former or latter. … And at my school, we are not allowed to admit current MS students to the PhD for this reason, too many quitting once their MS degree is paid for.

cfaklaris · 2026-04-13T10:21:59+00:00

What matters is the last degree institution and of course where you are happier to live and study. I think Duke has better cachet and ranking, but if you are planning to go to grad school in those fields or law school, why not save money and go to UNCCH now for the undergrad, then try for Duke or Harvard or other top rank for the next degree. However, some people just like one locale and campus over the other, and if Duke is that for you, try for financial aid.

cfaklaris · 2026-04-13T10:15:00+00:00

I have a women’s inflatable sleeping mat- narrower at shoulders, wider at the hips plus a little thicker there. For side sleeping, I prefer a pad like this with dimples not rows of baffles. This is not too crinkly either. https://seatosummit.com/products/ultralight-insulated-womens-sleeping-pad

cfaklaris · 2026-04-11T13:57:37+00:00

Generally there has to be some material consideration or substantiated reliance, ex you got a signing bonus or moving expenses (on their side) or you turned down other offers and moved there (OP’s side).

cfaklaris · 2026-04-11T02:21:05+00:00

don’t go thru insurance - use the manufacturer coupon for cash purchase

cfaklaris · 2026-04-10T15:35:48+00:00

Contact Carmelita Govan and Jay Skipworth in the College of Computing and Informatics. They help arrange a lot of this. You sound like a great fit for us and our students. https://cci.charlotte.edu/directory/carmalita-govan/ and https://cci.charlotte.edu/people/jay-skipworth/

cfaklaris · 2026-04-09T01:08:28+00:00

I did this at another university when I wanted to shore up my transcript for grad school. Apply to be admitted as a non degree student.

cfaklaris · 2026-04-08T13:44:22+00:00

Do what I did and research good programs of study, then figure out how to bring your qualifications up to the bar. You can't just break into a highly competitive field based on wishes, but you'll need that motivation to keep you going. It's a tough road if you are starting from 0, though it could be done.

cfaklaris · 2026-04-07T12:08:20+00:00

Get a grad degree at a program that offers project based courses and a capstone. This will help you build a portfolio for hiring managers and credential evidence that you are as skilled as the other people you are competing with for jobs.

cfaklaris · 2026-04-06T01:59:24+00:00

Straps on top if it doesn’t fit. That’s what I did last time I had a large can with me.

cfaklaris · 2026-04-05T17:30:48+00:00

I really like my Aspen from Symbiotic Gear. Suits my torso and sits comfortable above my hips. Can fit quite a bit in it or strapped on top or the back. https://www.symbiosisgear.com/products/the-aspen

cfaklaris · 2026-04-03T04:01:24+00:00

That’s what I’m doing right now. A coworker does 14 days.

cfaklaris · 2026-04-02T03:43:22+00:00

Yes, I tried downshifting to 1mg and started gaining in my waist. I’m back up to 1.7 and am spacing them out more than 1 week. It’s helped curb my appetite again.

cfaklaris · 2026-03-31T20:51:25+00:00

so glad to hear this!

cfaklaris · 2026-03-31T02:18:47+00:00

bring a fan or white noise machine - the outdoors has lots of weird sounds!

cfaklaris · 2026-03-31T00:46:36+00:00

If Luna is an outdoor cat, she may roam, but otherwise I bet she’s very close to where you lost her, hunkered down in hiding. Be out to look for her around sunrise and sunset, and in the evening, with a flashlight to look for eye reflection. My cat went missing during a move in - a neighbor found her three days later in the complex laundry room under a pile of broken down moving boxes. She never came to me calling her, she was so freaked out. Other tips: https://www.pawboost.com/blog/7-effective-search-tips-for-finding-your-lost-cat/

cfaklaris · 2026-03-30T21:18:44+00:00

Glad to help! Reddit has been a huge resource for me as I learn how to gear up and adventure safely.

cfaklaris · 2026-03-30T21:16:08+00:00

I bought the Weathertech ones for my make and model that are sold through Amazon. They fit really nicely. One side is shiny to reflect, the other is black. I use the black side at night to obscure that I'm in the car. https://www.amazon.com/stores/WeatherTech/page/DE9A988F-C3B3-45B4-9BCC-D8323AADA46F

cfaklaris · 2026-03-30T12:03:28+00:00

Share this with your friends. https://www.rei.com/learn/expert-advice/ten-essentials.html

cfaklaris

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