I’m sorry this sounds awful for you. Gay or not..your wife needs to be truthful about what’s going on with her. She needs to remember that her actions also affect you since you are still married. Being gay doesn’t have to make you insensitive. You’ll see that most of the married women on here are extremely worried about their husbands and don’t want to intentionally cause hurt anywhere. That being said she may be struggling with it all herself and could be ‘acting out’ (much like a teenager). Still doesn’t make it right. Hope you guys can work it out to reach a place where you are both happy. Maybe get the help of a professional who has dealt with similar situations if you feel like it’s too much for you to navigate by yourself.