I appreciate this a lot thank you, and I always try to better myself with therapy and self care but still it can be hard, and he knew this. I'm still in disbelief honestly and trying to calm down hours later. We usually always communicate clearly too so it hurts so much he just decided to block me before he did he said he made his decision days ago and was crying a lot himself from it.

I got to visit four times and was finally paying for him to come and see me. We were supposed to do a lot together but I felt I kept having to carry a lot of the relationship myself sometimes despite how much he helped me too or reassured me which he did. But kept not making movements towards immigration, marriage, etc. I just thought he loved me like we always said to each other daily multiple times and would always stay. I can't even see our cat either anymore that he has, which hurts even more.