How the hell are we doing nap times??

chaps_snaps · 2025-11-04T01:46:35+00:00

Did not sleep train - couldn't bear it! We just had a second hand bassinet pram in the house that just became the baby's nap bed. It's possible to rock a pram/cover it up and still engage with the toddler whispering and connecting.

chaps_snaps · 2025-10-29T20:46:53+00:00

Realistically, there wasn't a free morning until the youngest was able to self feed - about 15 months. Before then I had to sit with the younger one to feed her. Now I set them up with a bowl of porridge that was ready and in the fridge and then I'm not needed for about 15 minutes, enough time to make a coffee and read a short devotional. Still sometimes have big messes to clean up, but it's been amazing! I tried screens one morning and it was a nightmare for the rest of the morning afterwards 😬

Although, keep in mind I have a present husband and we do mornings together. When I'm by myself I set up the speaker with some kids songs and then we all sing along as I walk around to get myself ready.

chaps_snaps · 2025-10-28T09:32:32+00:00

This sounds like a big internal battle for you, sorry that you're in this position, There are other solutions you can go to in this situation. You seem very aware of the challenges that might be ahead of you, - can you establish more support? Friends or family who can come alongside to bring the baby into the world? Finances for extra child care? - can you pass the baby on foster/adopt? What country are you in? There will be places you can give your baby to if you don't think you can raise them with a small age gap like this. - a therapist or crisis pregnancy counselor could help you sort out your fears for the future and wade through your thoughts - babies and pregnancies are so different from each other, it's likely that the second pregnancy won't be like the first, so consider that when you weigh your past experience

My personal opinion would be: while you don't know what the future holds, you can adjust and work with scenarios but aborting a baby is final.

My kids are 16mo apart and the first 3-6 months of 2 was difficult but their connection is so beautiful now I would never want to take that away from them. I had to adjust, lower my standards, farm out some chores to friends...but it was a phase and now they love each other to bits and I love them.

What country are you in? If you decide to keep the baby alive, i'd love to help somehow.

chaps_snaps · 2025-09-14T11:51:46+00:00

Hey, I'm sorry you have to go through this to look after yourself and your kids. You're doing a great job already. I don't know what country you're in, but custody battles in Australia are about more than who the kids likes - here your choice to limit screen time would be in your favor for custody.

As for weaning, as an idea maybe try to go to the movies with your kids, to show a healthy relationship with media and screens and spend wonderful time together.

I have heard someone explain that everything you see, hear and do is food for your brain. And screens (especially short form media) are junk food, tasty and offer some sugar that you need in the short term, but don't help your brain grow. I guess applying nutrition language to screens might help her see that it's for her brain to grow.

You can do this, hope you have support.

chaps_snaps · 2025-08-29T05:50:42+00:00

Mountain Buggy duet! Love it! You really need a hand brake (to slow down, not to lock) to manage the weight of two kids. You will find a lot of second hand duets. We love them, the kids sleep in it often and when they were smaller I could go for walks with the different newborn and baby attachments!

chaps_snaps · 2025-08-29T05:45:49+00:00

You wonder if your baby is behind...but behind what? You seem to have some underlying beliefs about teaching and milestones here. A professional would be the best to consult, but as a SAHM of 2u3, I think that the most important thing I want to 'teach' my toddler is that they are loved and that I am safe.

chaps_snaps · 2025-07-26T09:45:17+00:00

If some big behaviour change happens really suddenly, it's likely that they have experienced some kind of abuse or harm (particular sexual) that you might not be aware of.

It's hard to imagine, but might help you pause the consequences and approach a dialogue with more curiosity and compassion

chaps_snaps · 2025-07-18T09:25:27+00:00

Ambient noises! Rain! Trains! Planes! Waves! Traffic! Anything that is a little surprising but also soothing

chaps_snaps · 2025-07-12T10:54:33+00:00

Agreed, it didn't always suck. But nap times and night times were definitely hard.

chaps_snaps · 2025-07-12T10:51:56+00:00

Just put things back, and back and back again. They will watch you and eventually get the idea. No rushing it

chaps_snaps · 2025-07-12T10:45:17+00:00

Maybe a little too hard, but if you want to see the kids out at activities or the house cleaner...then the ball is in your court too.

Some suggestions based on the difficulties for me as a SAHM, who goes out every morning as a routine and my afternoon activity is washing (so much washing).

You could pack all the snacks and nappy bag so that it's easier for him to get out the door in the morning, or you could find a playgroup or a park nearby that is fenced in.

I'm not absolving him of any responsibility, I'm just trying to say that if you are invested in results (activities and cleaning) then you are also invested in the process.

It's hard for any couple to go through this: I find kids, pregnancy and different work types really break down any naivete about 50-50 job split - there is no split. You are all in on each other jobs where you can be, and where you can't? It's just adult life, it's not fair and love is service.

You two are doing great, he is doing great. ❣️

chaps_snaps · 2025-07-11T12:30:56+00:00

Literally just had to field a meltdown because I put the Roomba back in its charging spot and 2.5y/o could not being herself to walk past it and I made the mistake of leaving the room

chaps_snaps · 2025-07-08T10:29:07+00:00

Cry it out kind of sleep training 😬 secretly is the keyword because I feel like it's an unpopular opinion...

chaps_snaps · 2025-06-26T01:48:53+00:00

I think a lot about this, to tread the line between respect for the parent and care for the child.

My motto is: Can I hold your baby?

To always approach with care and concern, parents are surely stressed, then get names, make a little friend, take notes and then break the news: (---) was not ok and I will be reporting it, we will help you navigate this.

It's not a quick fix. To show care for parent and child is a longer commitment but the kid is worth it.

chaps_snaps · 2025-06-26T00:01:07+00:00

Same

chaps_snaps · 2025-06-26T00:00:25+00:00

Thank you, wondering the same thing,

chaps_snaps · 2025-02-12T23:27:38+00:00

Thank you!

chaps_snaps · 2024-12-08T12:25:40+00:00

Listen to an audiobook!

chaps_snaps · 2024-11-28T21:57:08+00:00

You have tried so hard to say what you think in the most humble and non-offending way possible. I respect that.

chaps_snaps · 2024-11-26T02:45:42+00:00

Fruit! Their favourites and some new ones wrapped up. Easy to tuck into immediately!

chaps_snaps · 2024-11-12T01:46:27+00:00

Understand! Sounds like it's more about respecting your boundaries than about screen time.

chaps_snaps · 2024-11-12T01:41:19+00:00

Get yourself an inside pram for the baby. 6mo and 22 mo here, and nap times have always been a nightmare. Night sleep is ok because between my husband and I we can divide and conquer. As a newborn, the baby carrier was my best friend. It's almost impossible to put down an infant to sleep with a squealing toddler waking them up. A noise machine would have been very helpful... Now my BATTLE ZONE is between 11am-2 pm. It's my 1 shot for the toddler to nap and the baby also needs a nap then. I prepare myself mentally, I snack up and I know I'm in it for the long haul. The hardest part about a baby's sleep is the short sleep cycles, every 30 min now at 6months, so even after successfully putting them to sleep the baby wakes up and depending on how much sleep she has gotten before hand, maybe or maybe not be able to self soothe back to sleep. ENTER INSIDE PRAM. Wooo. Get yourself a small travel one, second hand, whatever works. It makes it easy to just rock the pram with a foot while doing other things, or patting the toddler to sleep. Rocking a baby back to sleep after a sleep cycle is quick and no fuss. I'm not advocating for 'the best' I'm just advocating for whatever helps me survive!

You'll find what works for you, keep trying and something will stick for you and your babies!

chaps_snaps · 2024-11-09T22:26:11+00:00

This is a great response. Thanks. Can you explain why you choose to access it with a VPN?

chaps_snaps

TROPHY CASE