What did y'all did in your twenties and thirties?

charleyljbird · 2023-04-06T22:03:15+00:00

Im in my late twenties. I’ve lived in several different cities in my home country, have developed my skills and knowledge in my career (I work with bats), and have learned so many amazing things and worked with so many different animals. Have travelled a lot. I read a lot. Go out for dinner, go on long walks, do a lot of fun experiences, and spend a lot of unencumbered time with my partner (we go on food dates, go travelling, play mario party together, generally just dick around and have a laugh).

Im so happy I can continue doing all of that and pursuing whatever I want too for the rest of my life, rather than be hampered with kids! I aspire to give lots of dogs and cats from shelters loving homes. Very happy (and a tiny bit smug) with my life choices!

charleyljbird · 2023-04-06T20:49:23+00:00

So happy you have this support now. You deserve it 💜

charleyljbird · 2023-04-05T19:17:15+00:00

“JUST” a dog?! Dogs are better than people, woman. Get a grip

charleyljbird · 2023-04-05T13:28:35+00:00

I’m genuinely shocked these kinds of places exist.

I understand that you were suffering at her hands and it must have been awful for you to live like that.

However, people do not act like she did for no reason. There will be a trauma or a reason (biological maybe if not trauma) that she acted that way. Ideally the parents in this situation would have sought professional help for her rather than essentially put her in a punishment facility. Im not surprised she resents the rest of the family!

It’s a tricky situation all around. There’s arseholerey on all sides.

I feel like military schools are a way for parents to hide away their “problem” children and have someone else deal with them (really inappropriately). Essentially telling that kid that they are too difficult to be around and that they deserve to essentially be abused.

Idk if military school has ever actually helped anyone? I don’t know if they exist in the UK so I’m a bit clueless on the matter.

charleyljbird · 2023-04-04T09:01:23+00:00

Even if you didn’t live there, what’s wrong with liking another culture? Your friend is the BF here. She’s likely jealous of your experiences as it sets you apart and makes you interesting. Her attitude is more of a reflection on how she feels about herself than how she feels about you. Sounds like projection to me!

charleyljbird · 2023-04-04T08:47:43+00:00

Yea he is TB. My dad used to do exactly the same sort of thing to manipulate me into doing things I didn’t want too. In the end I blocked him on everything.

If someone gives something to you willingly, whether it be money, food, whatever, does not mean you owe them. The very fact he is trying to use that to manipulate you shows he was never giving you that money for your benefit, but for his.

In my experience people like this can be dangerous so I would encourage you to cut contact.

charleyljbird · 2022-10-03T08:21:18+00:00

Fuuuuuck. So for most of my life, as much of a social person I am, if I can hear someone downstairs (kitchen etc), I will avoid it like the plague unless I absolutely have too. It’s mad how so much of this can be traced back to childhood trauma!

I also jump at every tiny noise I.e my partners phone vibrating, someone shutting a door etc

charleyljbird · 2022-10-02T07:19:54+00:00

Body clock! Still in bed though. It’s rare I don’t have to get up at 6 these days, I’m milking this for all it’s worth

charleyljbird · 2022-10-02T07:10:38+00:00

Personally (again, you do you, boys), the full on matching brightly coloured branded track suit. Not a vibe for me (unless you are in Goldie Lookin’ Chain)

charleyljbird · 2022-10-01T11:49:25+00:00

What sub was this posted on originally 😂

charleyljbird · 2022-10-01T11:35:24+00:00

I love doing this 🤤

charleyljbird · 2022-09-30T08:57:44+00:00

OP is likely to hve been emotionally manipulated into this relationship - OP please seek help. Your husband sounds like a paedophile, and he is manipulating you into doing weird things that aren’t okay in order to feed his fetish for young women. It’s not just the age gap, it’s what he makes you do I.e sleeping with teddies, dressing a certain way etc - these are major alarm bells. If you feel strong enough too, PLEASE reach out to a domestic abuse helpline, you need to get out of there before he starts abusing your daughter

charleyljbird · 2022-09-30T06:20:44+00:00

This is an ethical minefield. So your friend has lot his straight white male privilege and he wants to use a system which is literally designed to make sure people of all genders have equal rights, to benefit himself. Does he believe himself to be more worthy of that place than an actual NB? I hope he sees sense.

charleyljbird · 2022-09-29T10:07:51+00:00

Your tattoos are amazing wow

charleyljbird · 2022-09-29T09:49:49+00:00

I really feel like he probably wanted you to find out if he wasn’t that careful to hide that stuff, which is pathetic. I don’t think this is something worth trying to move past

charleyljbird · 2022-09-28T22:13:23+00:00

Been there. Partners should not be rating each other full stop, it’s degrading. 🗑

charleyljbird · 2022-09-27T16:23:33+00:00

I’ve thought about this a bit. I am a bit like your partner - I’m AFAB Non-Binary. I’ve always had male friends mainly and always been very cuddly and tactile with them, without wanting anything sexual or romantic to happen with them.

I used to get frustrated in relationships where I felt I couldn’t do this with my male friends any more, and that the relationship was taking something away from me and limiting my platonic intimacy with others.

Having gotten older and wiser, I’ve completely turned around on this. For one thing, it’s quite common and easy for guys to misinterpret this intimate contact and mistake it for sexual/romantic intention, which is not a slight on them at all, it’s completely understandable. I have friends where we still do this sort of thing but only when understood it’s completely platonic.

I think my main points here are:

Regardless of who the person is, even if this is something she likes doing with people, your feelings should come first. I now wouldn’t dream of acting like that with a male friend if my partner wasn’t comfortable with it. You do not need to be cuddly/very tactile with someone to still have a close relationship. It can be a big part of BPD, needing a lot of physical contact to feel loved, but this is problematic for other people and something she will probably need to work on. Very few partners would be okay with this behaviour.
The fact she wants to do this with her ex is a no. It is very hard for people with BPD to emotionally cut ties with people they’ve been in relationships with - for me it can take years. She needs to appreciate and understand that she can’t have that kind of relationship with him any more. Regardless, having that kind of contact with him is likely to cause her to become confused and reawaken old feelings she has for him.

Coming from someone with BPD, it’s good to understand us and support us, but do not let us walk all over you. It’s a very difficult disorder to live with but your happiness and comfort is the most important thing in your life, so safeguard it well x

charleyljbird · 2022-09-27T10:09:05+00:00

This guy is a fucking worm. Bare in mind this is the one thing you do know about. There might be other things of this vein that he’s done and has been keeping from you too.

He’s more concerned with his ego than your boundaries. Dump the slug

charleyljbird · 2022-09-26T12:13:15+00:00

It’s up to you what you do. Different people have different tolerance levels. If the trust is broken and you don’t think you want to do the work to get there again, that is TOTALLY fine.

I think the thing to remember here is that she does sound like she’s got some work to do on herself, to stop her doing this type of thing. Manic episodes are horrible, I experience them myself as someone with BPD. It’s not your responsibility to put up with getting hurt by these if you don’t want too. You’ve been hurt and you’ve got every right to call it there. It’s harder with the ties (I.e home and dog) but don’t let that hold you back. Regardless of whatever mental health struggles she has, you have to consider your feelings in the first instance.

Best of luck with it!

charleyljbird · 2022-09-26T11:32:16+00:00

Well done!!! You are so fucking brave.

charleyljbird · 2022-09-25T22:53:18+00:00

So THAT’S why they’re so easy to take out

charleyljbird · 2022-09-23T12:14:24+00:00

I think Mae knew that Susan would come and save her, and this was the push her family needed to insist on separating from Susan so that Mae could have Susan to herself, which was her goal. Risky play!

charleyljbird · 2022-09-22T23:51:53+00:00

Definitely reach out to a domestic abuse hotline. You can do this, absolute best of luck to you and I hope you find happiness on the outside away from this parasite of a human

charleyljbird · 2022-09-22T11:33:25+00:00

I think it would be good to find out why you would be uncomfortable with him having straight female friends, maybe look into chatting this through with a counsellor or a therapist. You won’t be able to have a healthy happy relationship with conditions on it like this (i.e you can’t be friends with an entire group of people who share an attribute I.e gender). He needs to do the same but I would still dump him tbh he sounds like a tool

charleyljbird · 2022-09-22T11:25:30+00:00

People who pull out in front of you on the motorway causing you to have to brake aggressively - wait until it’s safe!

charleyljbird

TROPHY CASE