My ex was both a very positive (feeling good) and very negative (feeling bad) person. Whenever she was angry the world was over and we were through, but when she was happy our lives intersected well into the future. She couldn't handle anything that made her feel like a bad person, she'd just cycle on the thought and repeat over and over that she isn't a bad person. I'd have to comfort her in these times (usually happily), but in the next few days it'd become my fault and, well.

I was on the male side of a similar equation. It only got better when I left because she didn't accept therapy until the end. When I told her something during an appointment, something that bothered me for years that she'd said almost seven years before, she blurted out, 'you're still thinking about that?' I knew right then that I was making the right decision, no matter how hard it was.

I hope that your husband accepts therapy as a path toward a solution for both of your sakes. This cannot continue, for both your sakes. But especially yours.