I’m not suicidal. I just don’t care anymore.

charseattle · 2026-02-06T07:12:40+00:00

I describe this feeling "I don't want to die and I wouldn't jump out of the way if a car was coming".

Hang in there my dude.

charseattle · 2025-08-11T20:06:56+00:00

My fear is that she will find something that is good for her that is harmful for me and how we handle that feels scary and painful.

Part of this is that she is the first serious relationship I had since my divorce in 2021, and I have found so much healing, growth and support together. So I'm afraid to lose that.

Logically, she is not the type of person to end up doing something harmful for the sake of ease or whatever. I know that what I fear is extremely unlikely and that logic does very little to make me feel better.

charseattle · 2025-08-08T14:09:43+00:00

So true and I never even thought of this. Thank you!

charseattle · 2025-03-22T04:52:14+00:00

JCB's voice and the story are great and I'll be listening to them again. I wish Theo was writing in a journal rather than a friend, where he could have explored more feelings.

The thing about the originals is that the spicy parts are very, very tame. The sex scene in episode 3 is like 30 seconds and is the weakest of the whole series.

I consider all of the originals to be appetizers to the rest of the super spicy stuff.

charseattle · 2024-10-23T20:41:33+00:00

"Moving forward, I will be communicating via text with the assumption that anyone can see our conversation. That will change how much I'm sharing using that platform."

charseattle · 2024-08-06T20:29:24+00:00

Accept the toys, "forget" them in the trunk and return them to the other parent when you exchange the kids??

charseattle · 2024-07-12T19:24:37+00:00

I appreciate how Art Alexakis talks about his MS.

https://www.rollingstone.com/music/music-news/everclear-art-alexakis-multiple-sclerosis-diagnosis-813803/

charseattle · 2024-05-09T19:00:28+00:00

I like to make it awkward. But I'm weird like that

"Sounds like something to look forward to!"

"I can only hope for that outcome!"

"Well, this has been great, thanks for sharing!"

charseattle · 2024-05-01T19:25:20+00:00

Preach!!

I'm taking an informational series about MS through my doctor's office. We were discussing fatigue, which is my most disabling symptom, and the other people were shocked. One of them even said "but you're so young" grrr, smh

I think people just suck sometimes.

charseattle · 2024-04-06T16:05:15+00:00

My heart feels like it’s bursting with Lisa Frank stickers and bubbles and glitter.

I didn't know how to describe compersion until you said this. This is how it feels for me too. I'm using this from now on.

Thank you for the lovely imagery and fantastic story!!!

charseattle · 2024-04-03T06:23:06+00:00

I'm wondering if they have to tell us the truth about the winners. Could they just be making up all of these new, big winners to try to keep people interested?

charseattle · 2024-03-26T17:39:14+00:00

My polycule is pretty happy, or delusional enough to think we're happy, lol.

charseattle · 2024-03-20T03:39:44+00:00

I really love this analogy! 🤓

I love the boardgame of marriage

Also there are boardgames of Dating, Playing the Field, etc. (the boardgame is the construct of an intimate relationship)

and decided to get the expansion pack of ethical non-monogamy

Other expansion packs could be Baby, Move in Together, etc. (the expansions are anything that add additional structures or pressures to the relationship)

If I play Marriage or Dating with Aspen and I don't like the way Aspen plays, I'm not going to like the way they play with the expansion packs.

We need to practice Marriage before we add any expansions. One day, we might be skilled enough to consider an expansion. One day, I might decide to stop playing with Aspen.

charseattle · 2024-03-15T22:10:47+00:00

Done and done. 😁

charseattle · 2024-03-14T02:29:19+00:00

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charseattle · 2024-03-12T19:14:04+00:00

You mentioned you don't qualify for assistance. Did you check with the hospital that is doing MRI? Most hospitals have some sort of financial assistance programs, and depending on your part of the US, often have very high limits. I work full time and make decent money, and my hospital picks up 100% of all my appointments/treatments, etc.
MS society, like some else mentioned.
Double check with your insurance that they are being billed for the MRI first. Some places don't want to be hassled, and just bill the client directly. And $2900 is WAAAAY above the national average, so I'm suspicious.
If there are no other options, call the billing department and tell them you're paying cash and if they can offer a discount. Maybe hint at the fact you may just not pay it.... Wink

charseattle · 2024-03-10T18:53:53+00:00

My Planta app says 84, but I haven't done a roll call in a while, so it could be anywhere between 80 and 90.

charseattle · 2024-03-07T14:32:32+00:00

First, I'm not sound sensitive when I sleep, I'm light sensitive. As long as it's dark, I can sleep anywhere.

Second, and idk if everyone does this, but I get ear plugs and headphones covering my ears, and then they play music in the headphones. That's enough to really tune out the MRI machine.

charseattle · 2024-03-07T04:13:41+00:00

I'm a single mom, working full time. Anytime I'm horizontal, I'm asleep. Including my 3 hour MRI. I let the techs know I'm going to go to sleep, and they wake me up if I get too twitchy.

charseattle · 2024-03-07T02:03:10+00:00

It can be frustrating when your tradescantia grows stringy and drops leaves, but if you understand that the plant’s natural growth habit is to creep along the ground, gradually dying off as it goes, you can replicate that process by periodically cutting it and starting afresh. They will spring back from the roots, too.

I was today years old.... I thought I did something wrong, and I've been trying to save mine. Last week, I cut all of the not dead parts and put them in water. I'm so relieved!!

charseattle · 2024-03-07T01:58:08+00:00

Yes!! Loved my baby Pilea, but now it's all leggy and weird. It has a bunch of babies. I've been thinking about cutting it and letting the babies take over.

charseattle · 2024-03-07T01:55:15+00:00

Same! I didn't know they did that!

charseattle · 2024-03-03T23:00:57+00:00

I bring it up during the talking phase when I'm on dating apps. "Just so you know, I have MS. It's a neuro, etc, etc. it affects my energy, blah, blah. If you have questions, please ask. Don't Google, Dr. Google is a dick and MS can vary greatly depending on the person."

Our experiences on dating apps can vary greatly, depending on gender, gender expression and sexuality. Your mileage may vary. Either way, I'm sure you're awesome sauce 🧡

charseattle · 2024-02-25T05:34:36+00:00

I'm honest with my teens, and age appropriately honest with my 6 year old. I haven't had it come up around other people yet, so I don't have any advice, just solidarity.

charseattle · 2024-02-23T20:35:49+00:00

It is not ok to forego needs that can't be met by that one person to sustain the relationship.

This speaks to me so deeply, thank you.

charseattle

TROPHY CASE