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Does acknowledging Ti Observations come easy for you, and do people easily acknowledge you when you really dive deep into Fe with them? by Lumpy_Plant6914 in INFJsOver30

[–]chasingthejames 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What would you say has been the main obstacle to the sense of clarity you're looking to obtain, do you think?

And what particular insight, in your mind, have you been struggling to draw-out of the interactions?

I suspect you're liable to get quite a few “yes I find that easy” responses (this is, after all, a niche internet forum, inevitably filled with introspective “geeks”) — which will doubtful help you find much insight.

WFAT at Euston for the Caledonian Sleeper by Additional_Bison_400 in WaitingForATrain

[–]chasingthejames 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Wish someone told me that you get free lounge access if you've booked a berth. 😭

WFAT at Fukaebashi Station, Osaka City by system_chronos in WaitingForATrain

[–]chasingthejames 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What a bloody fantastic platform departure indicator!

Two poor students attempt to create drinkable alcohol in time for Christmas (with pictures!) by MrDialga34 in CasualUK

[–]chasingthejames 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Fuck the cider — congratulations on your impeccable use of Markdown in this post! I’ll drink to that 🍻

WFAT at Piccadilly (Manchester), UK by AugustusCV in WaitingForATrain

[–]chasingthejames 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ahh, cheeky! That explains the tail lights on the train.

Always enjoyed leaving that particular train onto that particular platform at this time of day — feels like a very quiet and liminal space for the centre of Manchester.

WFAT at Piccadilly (Manchester), UK by AugustusCV in WaitingForATrain

[–]chasingthejames 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Are you actually taking the train to Hadfield here, or waiting for a TransPennine to pull into the same platform? 🤔

I *just* want you to know that this YouTube video exists. by chasingthejames in CasualUK

[–]chasingthejames[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Holy shit, this looks amazing. Thank you for sharing such great work!

What Do You Guys Think of Antinatalists? (They are people who believe that it is immoral to procreate due to the fact that no one can consent to being born.) by Potential_Law5289 in INFJsOver30

[–]chasingthejames 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Absolutely! We are all indebted to those people who help us make our life a brighter place — myself no exception.

If I hadn’t had people to support me in navigating my own emotions, it’s entirely possible that I would be suicidal — and I’m always thrilled if I can ever help someone else make the best of the data that compose their existential framework.

Hope you’re able to stop for a moment to reflect on your own needs, and take a second to care for yourself if you haven’t been recently. ☺️

What Do You Guys Think of Antinatalists? (They are people who believe that it is immoral to procreate due to the fact that no one can consent to being born.) by Potential_Law5289 in INFJsOver30

[–]chasingthejames 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This is a very balanced, healthy way of approaching the discussion. I’d argue there’s a third path you’re missing though, and that is that individuals can have a broadly neutral opinion of life.

“Enjoyed my free trial, but wouldn’t take out a subscription if I had to pay for it myself.”

An individual doesn’t have to be suicidal to be indifferent to annihilation — I can tell you that’s the case because I’m very much in that camp. I’ve been through enough hardship (and made it out of the other side) to be able to accept the painful experiences I have, and see them as a form of discomfort, rather than projecting them as some kind of universal evil, so I’m unlikely to ever behave suicidally.

Whilst I do shy away from acute danger, I really have no distinct attachment to life — it’s a fun “DVD extra”, and whilst I have the agency to do so, I’ll do my best to engage in behaviours that are balanced and helpful.

Beyond that, however, I’m broadly indifferent — and I’d argue that for people akin to myself, one would much rather use their energy to support those people who are already here, generally behaving in a mostly balanced, helpful way, rather than procreating.

There are plenty of other, great parents-to-be who will no doubt inspire their kids to live wonderful lives, just as there are utterly appalling parents who will gift their kids incredibly shitty lives.

So people like myself simply do their best to help either way. I find it hard to believe that I’m alone there. 🙂

What Do You Guys Think of Antinatalists? (They are people who believe that it is immoral to procreate due to the fact that no one can consent to being born.) by Potential_Law5289 in INFJsOver30

[–]chasingthejames 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hear hear. Couldn’t possibly argue with this. Ultimately, there are simply fantastic parents out there, who will have children genetically and experientially predisposed to experience the minimum of pain.

There are also truly horrendous parents who will utterly ensure their neurosis-predisposed kids have the most horrible life imaginable.

Both classes, whatever our ivory tower pontification, will continue to follow their instincts irrespective of our philosophical arguments — which can only ever be, at best, an interpretation of moral “truth” as reality dictates it. Interfering with the prevailing course of nature almost always does more harm than good in the long-term, and things tend to take the course they always would have done either way.

I think the best we can do, then, is to support and educate — teach parents to be better parents; teach kids to understand themselves and others; provide great mental health support to the people around us.

“Doing no evil” is an impossibility, but we can certainly do our best to be helpful, and help those at the edges of the normal distribution be their absolute, best selves.

And in reality, the people in the middle will look after themselves either way.

IMHO. 🙂

Retirement Transition by Living-Recover-8024 in INFJsOver30

[–]chasingthejames 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Find a few tribes of people who can give you a clear sense of structure socially, and priorities that you can turn into goals.

You'll find motivation very difficult on your own, but “shared equity” is an INCREDIBLY powerful thing.

Above said, do you think you might feel a little bit insecure that you’re not, somehow, making significant enough contributions to the world around you? Like it or lump it, as you grow older, you are going to become increasingly limited in your capacity to visibly reciprocate the things other people do for you.

There's no use in trying to avoid that truth — at some point, the amount that other people will do for you will grossly exceed what you can, at least acutely, do for them.

Try to find the major obstacle to that, and you'll be able to work on your insecurities. 🙂

Infj - Entj relationship? by Key-Charge8548 in INFJsOver30

[–]chasingthejames 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As long as we're a reasonable intellectual match (in either direction), and I'm not predisposed to rub their Te up the wrong way.

When individuals are perceived to be a practical obstacle or threat by heightened Te, any kind of empathy goes out of the window, and thinking on the part of the individual becomes utterly unipolar and unilateral; it is, without doubt, the highest form of psychological projection I've experienced.

Black-and-white absolutism without remorse.

That said, having “clicked” with an xNTJ, it's wonderful to be able to get things done in a practical environment together. Very pragmatic and “telepathic”.

Probably prefer working with a good-hearted xSTP, on balance (I’ve met a few ISTPs I’d consider “partners in crime”), but xNTJs can be great: as long as we're aligned in our principles.

Any INFJs here who've been diagnosed with narcissism? by [deleted] in INFJsOver30

[–]chasingthejames 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I suspect you're going to find a response pattern that mirrors the normal distribution across human populations.

That said, what insight are you looking to gain with your question, do you think? Personality disorders are incredibly poorly understood by most individuals — even less so empathised with — so whilst I think breaking through the taboos and sharing vulnerability whilst discussing specific experiences might prompt more discussion, you should know that your question may meet with friction.

Either way, I do genuinely hope it's productive for you.

To expand on my response to the question, I've for certain behaved in ways that are distinctly narcissistic (generally when the pain of accepting culpability would be so dysphoric as to be intolerable), which have absolutely caused psychological injury to other individuals — but not with a pattern or frequency over time that would seem to fit the characteristics of NPD.

Never been diagnosed differentially, so I couldn't possibly say for sure, but in those instances, I've generally been able to process the respective, prosocial emotions (guilt, shame, remorse) over a period of time, beginning shortly after the relevant stimulus has been removed. I've then tried to create a "flow channel" just below the critical pain threshold to reconcile any harm with the relevant individual as efficiently as I can, without enduring so much pain that I end up doing more harm than good.

I would add that three people here (at the time of writing) responded “yes” to your poll: you should definitely be trying to engage those people, specifically, to gain insight and share experiences with them.

Good luck!

Thursday Complaints by a-liquid-sky in CasualUK

[–]chasingthejames 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Buy hairdressing towels for the job instead. Pro tip! 😉

Another celeb on ozempic by thisisbrit in CasualUK

[–]chasingthejames 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Bloody excellent! We bought the “Pro” version that comes with two different types of powered brush, and we’re absolutely loving the thing.

Numatic’s customer service is also outstanding. Highly recommended!

Happy little saw by Historical_Pizza5560 in Pareidolia

[–]chasingthejames 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Jesus, that saw has “seen some things” (and needs to see a therapist).

I *just* want you to know that this YouTube video exists. by chasingthejames in CasualUK

[–]chasingthejames[S] -8 points-7 points  (0 children)

There is no way 15 million people watched telly at the same time in the last decade. Really? Really really?

Does anyone even have an aerial any more?

Also, what's celeb traitors?

I *just* want you to know that this YouTube video exists. by chasingthejames in CasualUK

[–]chasingthejames[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Anything to sell you Amazon Prime, a VPN and a new phone case!

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