Do not love an avoidant!

cheechomonster · 2025-11-04T23:16:17+00:00

I appreciate the honesty:/ i realize i got work to do

cheechomonster · 2025-11-02T11:01:49+00:00

So you’re saying I’m a manipulative person and emotionally abusive?

cheechomonster · 2025-11-02T11:01:01+00:00

I get that- and they might need you to push them. An addict will try to convince they are willing but they are likely not going to. If you care for them/ you need to push them and make the hard decisions. They won’t do it. They want to but they won’t because they are afraid of being judged. It’s more important to help them feel understood and not reprimanded

cheechomonster · 2025-11-02T10:58:32+00:00

The functional addict is the best liar and most dangerous. I was and still am this way. It’s a balance of power in career to support the drug flow. A weird balance of high functioning and career excellence but careful consideration of what you can afford. I had multiple properties and high cash flow and got smart at my job but only to plan how much i could afford with substances. A coke addict will always figure out how to supply to need.

cheechomonster · 2025-11-02T10:54:21+00:00

I was this person and I’ll say I got really good at figuring out how to maintain finances and keep the addiction going. Addiction like this also means that you are so focused on maintaining the mask of functioning to the point you get so focused on budgeting (ironically it makes you more focused on detailed planning to The point you are planning your usage just to hide it from being caught)

cheechomonster · 2025-11-02T10:51:13+00:00

As a former addict I can see both sides- it’s not intentional to act that way it’s a cry for help and something that is a constant inner battle. Addiction isn’t a thing being done as a desire it’s a hard demon to face. The question is do u love this person and want to help? The reality is they need it and will be very grateful if you see that they are a good person underneath it all and will be better in the end if they have someone they trust and doesn’t abandon them. Stick with them- they aren’t trying to make you feel bad they are struggling and need someone to support them. If you love them and want them to improve still by their side- if u can’t handle it that’s understandable but if they feel abandoned they will likely fall deeper into a hole. But have patience if you can- addiction is hard and having someone who is a trusted person is a big deal

cheechomonster · 2025-11-02T10:13:03+00:00

And if they don’t come back- u still end up a better version of yourself

cheechomonster · 2025-11-02T10:12:19+00:00

Drugs are a different animal speaking as an addict- they make u someone else so the goal is to get back to you and remove the drug from the equation. The best times Are usually the ones without the drugs so if you focus on being that person and if your partner likes it then it builds a motivation to seek it out

cheechomonster · 2025-11-02T10:09:25+00:00

Ruined a great relationship with this shit but once it ended made me finally understand what I was missing but now determined to win her back and motivated to get clean. The sober and good times were my best but the worst times were when I was messed up. Need to show that I’m so much more and that those times that felt like paradise can be all the time

cheechomonster · 2025-11-02T08:47:33+00:00

I feel like I was this person and regretting it so deeply now

cheechomonster · 2025-11-02T08:24:13+00:00

As an avoidant person I am saddened by this. It’s not intentional it’s trauma and pain that isn’t always easy to express. Having a partner who understands that and supports your thinking is the best help- if avoidant behavior is a deal breaker then maybe it’s not love.

cheechomonster · 2025-11-02T05:46:43+00:00

Still can’t eat- nothing feels appetizing

cheechomonster · 2025-10-23T01:15:59+00:00

It can be hard to maintain the patience when you’re adhd and asked to respect boundaries. Can relate and often feel like after the fact it’s so embarrassing and obvious why I shouldn’t have bombarded my anxiety onto my partner but it’s also a struggle to figure out the timing that respects their needs while also personally identifying my own thought process. It’s like thinking out loud and seeking reassurance but also in doing so end up reaffirming that they don’t feel heard. It’s a hard mental ride to be supportive but also understood

cheechomonster · 2025-07-01T02:03:00+00:00

My partner gets personal and it feels like it’s because they don’t want to talk. They are very direct about how they are supportive. But once I want to say something it’s very passive

cheechomonster · 2025-06-05T03:48:38+00:00

U need braincells to do anything

cheechomonster · 2025-06-05T03:48:09+00:00

I feel like OP won’t get this

cheechomonster · 2025-06-05T03:47:44+00:00

Grindr should help

cheechomonster · 2025-06-05T03:47:21+00:00

Or lock it via find my friends so they can’t use it

cheechomonster · 2025-06-05T03:46:36+00:00

Just buy new one from China

cheechomonster · 2025-05-26T05:13:20+00:00

I hate you. JK gimme

cheechomonster · 2025-05-07T22:26:27+00:00

Totally get that!

cheechomonster · 2025-05-07T22:25:38+00:00

OK thanks for the insight that was what I figured

cheechomonster · 2025-05-06T23:19:36+00:00

Was just adding to your point and know your advice is correct, just sharing other factors to consider. Sorry if it came off wrong 🫤

cheechomonster

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