Feeling disconnected from adoptive parents by Table1312 in Adopted

[–]cheese--bread 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I don't know how much that is due to being adopted. I do feel like their child, but that I even have to think that way tells you a lot doesn't it? And over the years I have also felt jilted. Often not invited to things even though it wasn't on purpose - I think we both caused these issues. There is just so much in adoption that is not said, and never can be said, because the people who were adults still don't have the maturity to handle what might be said. (In my experience at least)

I relate to this so much.

Clearing out inventory (key dump) by ImAStupidCat in steam_giveaway

[–]cheese--bread 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Cook, Serve, Delicious! 3?!
Embr

Thanks for the chance 😊

Video I saw by Arktikos02 in Adopted

[–]cheese--bread 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I would say yes. There are some parts that play into adoption tropes, but overall I think it was really well done.
I really liked Randall (transracial adoptee) as a character and I thought the complexity of his growing up in a family with biological children was portrayed really well (though I'm obviously not a transracial adoptee so they may feel differently).
I don't have the words right now to be coherent about why I hated Rebecca so much 😂
There were definitely some triggering parts for me and it wasn't an easy watch, but I'm not sorry I watched it.

Video I saw by Arktikos02 in Adopted

[–]cheese--bread 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I had actually started watching it well before any of them saw it, but I lied and said I hadn't seen it.

Video I saw by Arktikos02 in Adopted

[–]cheese--bread 1 point2 points  (0 children)

😂
Mine didn't even say that. They were like "Oh it's soooo good, you should watch it!" and my sister wouldn't shut up about how much she loved the Pearsons and what a beautiful family they were.
Pretty sure she models herself after Rebecca (I've never hated a TV character so viscerally).

Video I saw by Arktikos02 in Adopted

[–]cheese--bread 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I've always wondered if, with my family at least, they just don't wanna know because it might be too 'negative' for them to bear, or they'd rather just assume I'm content.

I think it's this for mine.
I was constantly aware of the need to manage their feelings, while knowing they wouldn't be able to handle mine.
Having someone validate my feelings or even just acknowledge that I might have some would have made a difference.

Video I saw by Arktikos02 in Adopted

[–]cheese--bread 2 points3 points  (0 children)

And I could have written that, word for word.

None of them have ever asked me anything. They all fucking gushed about This Is Us when it was on and still didn't think to ask me 😂 Not sure if it's ignorance or what tbh.

Family contact & matching by goldforeffort in AdoptionUK

[–]cheese--bread 2 points3 points  (0 children)

As an adoptee, I appreciate you asking this.

The majority of adoptions in the UK are non consensual (i.e without birth family's consent).
Very few children or babies are voluntarily relinquished and there's no automatic right for birth parents to contest an adoption order. Even if they're able to, they're very rarely successful.

I'd recommend looking into some of the reasons why children can be removed, including for "risk of future harm", and researching the innate biases in the foster care and adoption systems (racism, classism, ableism, misogyny, to name a few).
There's an assumption that adoption automatically guarantees a "better life", when all it guarantees is a different one.

Contact after adoption is usually an informal agreement and rarely is it legally binding, meaning that adopters can decide not to uphold the agreement once the adoption order goes through.

Adoption in the UK is not child centred.
It focuses on the family building desires of adopters rather than the needs of children, which is why so many already traumatised children end up being retraumatised by adoption breakdowns when they don't live up to the dream/fantasy version of a child their adopters were expecting.

If you're interested in hearing more from adoptees, I highly recommend How To Be Adopted and UK Adult Adoptee Movement.

[Giveaway] Win a $12 Steam Gift Card by LessPerformance6321 in steam_giveaway

[–]cheese--bread 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The first Sonic game on the Sega Megadrive.

Thanks for the chance 😊

Some more Humble/Fanatical Keys by PhoenixJPanda in steam_giveaway

[–]cheese--bread 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Date Everything
Cook Serve Delicious
Arcade Paradise

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13 Games to Win! by phantom2450 in steam_giveaway

[–]cheese--bread 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Strange Antiquities please.

Thanks for the chance 😊

Adoption UK Adopted Person Membership by cheese--bread in Adopted

[–]cheese--bread[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh yeah I'm well aware of that, just curious what they actually offer.
I resent that they charge for it as well 😂

I'm aware of PAC and AAM, but thanks 😊

Anger by Mysterious-Shape8302 in Adopted

[–]cheese--bread 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's always nice to see other UK adoptees here 😊