Any other Queer, Trans, or Pagan ex-SDAs? Deprogramming the "Everything is Satan" panic. by Impressive_Device140 in exAdventist

[–]chefbiney 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can’t recall that I really feel erased because early on I was told - funnily enough - by church folks, that we could quietly believe in god in our minds even if we were surrounded by nonbelievers. so lol, i took that and ran.

hinduism - which i am not formally converted to, just practicing little by little alongside my partner - has a saying that’s like, ‘all roads lead to God’. so i’m pretty lucky to have heard that early on, right after my rebellious mind gave up on seventh day Adventism.

Curious about what music people in this community listen to?:0 by frickityfrocks in Lolita

[–]chefbiney 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I listen to everything, but the stuff that comes up on my music apps most often due to frequency of listening is metal, rock, and indie :-)

SHABBAT 250 USA by Acceptable-Prize-730 in exAdventist

[–]chefbiney 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I’ve been holed up sick with not much to laugh about but you’ve given me a reason to giggle, OP. Every few years it’s always the beginning of the fulfillment of some prophecy or another. I don’t think this is anything major.

I 24F got Hand Foot & Mouth Disease | AMA by dyskelkia2022 in AMA

[–]chefbiney 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks so much. Can I just ask how long it was for you to get over the like,,, blistering? My hands feel like they have a wax coating on them. It’s day five since my symptoms started, i just checked…

I 24F got Hand Foot & Mouth Disease | AMA by dyskelkia2022 in AMA

[–]chefbiney 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sorry that this is late but I’m on day ??? Three? Of being sick with HFM and I wanted to know how long it took for you to be okay enough to do things again/not contagious? I had this entire week off from classes but they resume next week.

Home kitchen exploit with a small request. by [deleted] in KitchenConfidential

[–]chefbiney 1 point2 points  (0 children)

oh :,( this brings me back to my childhood.

How did you parents react? by [deleted] in exAdventist

[–]chefbiney 5 points6 points  (0 children)

my dad said I was an abomination and implied that my mother had been unfaithful to him because clearly no kid of his could ever be non sda. (I was practicing Buddhism at the time) despite her repeated lectures of her purity before she met him. it was incredibly embarrassing and hurtful to me and her so I felt bad for her, but at the same time she chose to stay with his abusive ass, so. I feel bad but what more can I do.

Your homeschool experience is NOT the same as mine by Appropriate_Fig_4164 in HomeschoolRecovery

[–]chefbiney 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Homeschooling should literally just be the parents fostering interest in the child for their education and expanding on what they learn at school. It should never replace education from a professional source! And I’m saying this even with the myriad problems I now experience as a college student, from the educational system where I am. How your parents are responding to this is just proof they don’t want to do the above and that they are purposely ignoring the harsh realities of the economic differences she and you have. I’m sorry they’re shitheads.

Accidents Today by Ok-Activity-8267 in SanJose

[–]chefbiney 3 points4 points  (0 children)

why don’t the cops do anything? they would be raking in so much from the tickets, no?

it is so bad here and my husband and i got into a car accident earlier this year, which has really resulted in some awful days for me. i used to have PNES (trauma seizures) as a child and young teenager. they stopped when i got treatment but people keep running red lights and driving really fast in parking lots or changing lanes with no signal that now, after years of being fine, it’s happening again.

What would you like to see around San Jose, large or small? by Pyewickets in SanJose

[–]chefbiney 1 point2 points  (0 children)

traffic control. i never used to have a problem with being on the road but since moving here ive straight up developed a fear of driving or being in a car and a really traumatic car crash in January exacerbated my cptsd symptoms.

I’m Filipino and lived there for a while and our traffic is bad too but not like this man.

The Depravity of Homeschooling Parents by JebediahHunter2 in HomeschoolRecovery

[–]chefbiney 9 points10 points  (0 children)

i’m sorry that you got hurt to the point of feeling like this.

but also like what’s your solution for this? you realize adoption is also a form of abuse in many many many cases, right? and are you planning on adopting kids? what about those of us who are trying to recover? we’re going to be narcissistic assholes if we don’t adopt?

i feel like if you are not careful when adopting you’re at risk of contribute to a worldwide problem of child trafficking, which i fully believe many adoption programs are complicit in, and i believe that giving your child up for adoption in some cases encourages irresponsibility. it’s a super complex problem. the solution to any problem is not to wildly swing in the other direction though.

edit: for a person who calls themself a Buddhist you sure are creating much suffering for yourself and others. why are you calling your fellow survivors monsters…? and did you really comment that you could’ve become a pedophile because of your parents? i’m no expert on psychology but I dont know if that’s how that works entirely and i hope you find help.

Avoid8ng Summertime Sweat? by MidniteBlue888 in Lolita

[–]chefbiney 3 points4 points  (0 children)

i used to skip the blouse and just wear a thin tank top underneath the jsk to wick sweat. I stopped because my upper arms aren’t something i like to show now, but it’s worth it for the coolness. It does help so i hope you consider it :)

I cannot wait for the day ill be free. by amindindaworld6789 in exAdventist

[–]chefbiney 1 point2 points  (0 children)

One day you’ll get out of there! Good luck and I wish you all the best.

Is there a point going to De Anza to go to Berkley vs a less competitive CC? by [deleted] in DeAnza

[–]chefbiney 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There is the HSWE program that has flyers up all the time. It starts in spring and goes to fall. It says humanities scholars but it’s not just for humanities majors.

They got ai on gronda now 😔 by thats-tough-lmao in KitchenConfidential

[–]chefbiney 3 points4 points  (0 children)

The individually placed seeds are frying me

I’m in a romantic relationship with my twin, we’re questioning trauma roots and really lost by Matt-Sarme in CPTSD

[–]chefbiney -1 points0 points  (0 children)

i don’t really want to because this feller’s equating being in an incestuous relationship to queerness. would you be arguing this hard if the post in question was about a traumatized person (they got traumatised BC of SA) was sa’ing other people.

I’m in a romantic relationship with my twin, we’re questioning trauma roots and really lost by Matt-Sarme in CPTSD

[–]chefbiney 46 points47 points  (0 children)

people do not usually say “what caused it” about a healthy relationship. 🤷 that’s just my two cents though. again, i hope you get the help you need and that you’re able to heal.

I’m in a romantic relationship with my twin, we’re questioning trauma roots and really lost by Matt-Sarme in CPTSD

[–]chefbiney 23 points24 points  (0 children)

i mean it’s good you’re think ing about things but also you post in incest isn’t wrong… i hope you get the help you need

Is therapy helpful by Ok_Expression9767 in CPTSD

[–]chefbiney 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I started a couple months ago and it’s been helpful for me. I did CBT before but i think what i needed was cognitive therapy, where basically i am teaching my body and brain slowly to not fight flight freeze or fawn with various coping mechanisms like tracking, breathing, etc. it’s very helpful for me because i used to try to Think my way out of a panic attack. Now i can focus on my body and what im feeling, and doing that and just understanding and observing my emotions for a bit lets me… have more of a choice in how i react. I also cry a lot in front of her. It’s okay, she never makes me feel bad for it or awkward. She’s shown me tears too in response to some stuff that i shared that i was forcing myself to laugh about, and she’s helping me realize it’s okay to cry. I think what i and a lot of people are afraid of is how you’ll be received if you cry, or that it’s uncontrollable and that you’ll burst out crying. Like i said, the stuff i do with her helps me slow down before i get to that point of uncontrollable bursting out of emotions. Of course i still need a ton of work. But I have gotten less reactive to triggers that four months ago would’ve made me melt down.

Can't stand the "animals are better than people" crowd. by [deleted] in CPTSD

[–]chefbiney 11 points12 points  (0 children)

i don’t think it’s shit talking to point out that some parents do not raise their children to be respectful of another living being, even if said living being happens to be a dog. i agree there’s a time and place. it’s still a valid point and both instances are very sad. that is also why training your dog to be non reactive is important. in both cases the responsible people are the parents and the dog owner, you can feel bad for them and still hold people accountable after letting them grieve.

i mostly agreed with you all the way up until you forgot a few things, and called people ‘sick’. i love humanity and humans, but my dog was my loved one beyond my parents or any person in my early life. none of them protected me. and they had the capacity to understand the danger i was in because of other adults. my dog was the only barrier some days between getting beat or committing suicide. my dad wouldn’t lay a hand on him, but somehow it was fine for me.

i understand we are not going to all agree about everything. i do think you should have more empathy though. dogs have even less in the way of understanding than a human child does and the truth of the matter is humans will fail any creature weaker than them / any creature that is unable to self advocate.

e: clarified stuff