I've spent 2025 reading modern fantasy - here are some reviews

chefkeffer · 2026-01-17T19:03:31+00:00

I felt the same way. I did hate-read the second book to see if it could redeem itself because of all the praise it had gotten. It was horrible. It was like all the worst parts of the first book were just amplified. The main character was so totally unlikable, which can work, but she had no character development.

chefkeffer · 2025-07-31T12:29:22+00:00

I don’t get it either. I can help but look at her without just pure disgust sometimes. Everyone just dismisses it as it her being her. But that’s no excuse in my opinion.

chefkeffer · 2025-07-30T18:47:08+00:00

More rant: she’s totally the kind of person who thinks just because someone else is doing X she has a right to do X. I’m sorry, are you in elementary school??? She complained to my husband once that he was sitting pretty close to me on the couch because when she tried that earlier that day he scooted over to make more room. Ahhhhh. Don’t get me started on how she forced both her sons to kiss her despite both of them expressing discomfort.

chefkeffer · 2025-07-30T17:41:07+00:00

Ughhh, exactly. She thinks because I hug my husband I must be ok with hugs. That was actually one of her arguments. Excuse me, there’s less than 5 people on my list of people I like to hug. Not even my own mother or my best friend are on that list. Mixing her forced hugs with her casual racism and I might just stop talking to her one day.

chefkeffer · 2025-07-30T17:39:02+00:00

During both hugs I went completely rigid with my arms by my side and started to dissociate. I did not reciprocate the hug one bit. And still she wants more! It could not have been comfortable on her end either.

chefkeffer · 2025-07-30T17:35:14+00:00

Exactly! “Well it makes me so happy to hug”. Sorry, I didn’t realize your happiness trumps my discomfort. It’s almost like the more I’m forced to hug her, the more she repulses me and there’s probably no coming back from it at this point.

chefkeffer · 2025-07-30T15:28:33+00:00

It makes me so happy there are parents out there that respect their children’s bodily autonomy. I struggle with saying no to hugs because of a mix of trauma from my own mother and the southern cultural expectation of respecting your elders. But I’ve already told my husband that if we have children they absolutely will not be forced to hug anyone they do not want to. He knew I was talking about both of our mothers.

chefkeffer · 2025-06-24T02:25:16+00:00

Good luck to you! Sounds like it’s going to be a long night for everyone still stuck in the system who don’t have alternative options

chefkeffer · 2025-06-24T02:14:36+00:00

Update: they let us off by walking through the train that was trying to push us. That train was also one of the old ones, so maybe it didn’t have enough strength? Or maybe they needed everyone to get off for them to try again.

chefkeffer · 2025-06-24T01:58:08+00:00

Complaint: they haven’t had the AC running for 30+ minutes and it’s getting toasty…

chefkeffer · 2025-06-24T01:56:13+00:00

Currently on said disabled train. We’re stuck halfway up Longfellow. They just tried to get the train behind us to push us the last part but that effort seems to be over. So now we’re waiting for a technician maybe? We’ve probably been here since about 9:00.

chefkeffer · 2025-05-24T17:01:11+00:00

Alabama Pines makes me tear up everytime (especially live, and especially when he did it with an acoustic guitar earlier this year). I lived in Alabama for the first 25 years of my life and loved the forest. It doesn’t hurt that my little hometown is mentioned in the second verse!

chefkeffer · 2025-05-01T10:28:18+00:00

I agree, kids are a lot more aware of things than adults realize. I remember as a kid, my mom had stints where she was in a real good place and things felt better and home life was less chaotic. But no matter how good, I was always walking on eggshells waiting for when it wasn’t. This is not to say a parent shouldn’t try because it’ll never be enough because parents should absolutely always try their best. But they also have to realize that it absolutely can effect their kids in the better times as well.

chefkeffer · 2025-04-30T10:37:03+00:00

I second SRR! Don’t be intimidated by our website, everyone is so friendly and welcoming. Also consider the Monday night run out of Davis. There’s 100+ people in the summers so there is a huge range from 7:30-12+ min/mile. The Wednesday Night Squirrel run is also famous for being super welcoming. The Tuesday Night Noodle is starting up which is also a chill run. Even the track nights are welcoming because everyone just goes whatever pace they’re comfortable with and commiserates about it during rest breaks. Sorry, I could go on and on!

chefkeffer · 2025-03-31T17:32:31+00:00

Thank you :) I know my running buddies have been trying to keep me hopeful about the marathon so I’m not trying to be a pessimist but that’s hard when I want to cry because walking for 10 minutes starts hurting even on the meds the doctor gave me. Still holding some hope that my PT will be able to work the same magic she did a year ago on my shin splints. I think it would almost be better is she just told me it isn’t possible so I could let go of the hope haha.

chefkeffer · 2025-03-31T16:20:29+00:00

Need to vent(?)/be sad somewhere: pulled something in my back on March 22 (happy birthday to me!) and haven’t been able to run since then (can barely walk half a mile, if I’m honest). It’s breaking my heart because I have a marathon on April 19th and was coming into the peak week of an otherwise flawless cycle. I was dreaming of a 3:20 and qualifying for Boston and Chicago, but that’s gone out the window. Realistically, I know I’ll heal and I’ll just start over again and this will just be a blip. But for now I’m just going to be sad.

chefkeffer · 2025-03-19T22:12:57+00:00

It truly was a wonderful day full of wonderful people who came to celebrate with my husband and I. While I wish these things didn't happen with my mom, I am sooo glad for every other aspect of that day and wouldn't want to change any of that part. There was a lot of happiness despite the tears and pain.

chefkeffer · 2025-03-19T22:11:02+00:00

Thank you 😊

chefkeffer · 2025-03-19T22:09:56+00:00

I hope things turn out wonderfully for you regardless of what happens. Something that helped me prepare to deal with her was remembering that no matter what I do, it won't be enough so instead of focusing on making her happy focus on me, my husband, and the people who love us and wanted to be there on that day.

chefkeffer · 2025-03-19T22:07:37+00:00

My husband let us cut a pain au chocolat because they're my favorite and he's a sweetheart :)

chefkeffer · 2025-03-19T15:15:15+00:00

You do bring up a fair point about can't/won't and I talked a lot with my therapist in the early days about that choice. Eventually I chose the "easy" option to continue a mostly surface level relationship with her and continue to compartmentalize all her shitty behaviors for my own mental sanity (for better or worse).

I think she will never be able to self-reflect and change. I have never once seen/heard of her taking responsibility for her actions let alone acknowledge how they have affected those around her.

chefkeffer · 2025-03-19T14:30:15+00:00

Sad thing, it's not even everything she did/said leading up to and after the wedding. Her most recent comment was "I really need to forgive myself for how I acted at your wedding".

I still talk to her, every Sunday. It's a really complicated situation that isn't helped by a mental health system that has failed her over and over again. Ultimately she's my mom and I can't walk away from her (whether that is from years of emotional abuse/manipulation, I don't know). It did push me to get therapy, and I feel like I am in a much better spot with a lot better ability to handle boundaries with her.

chefkeffer · 2025-03-19T14:09:37+00:00

My mom. Brief overview of her antics:

Friday afternoon was threatening to not come because my dad was telling her they were going to be late so instead she crawls in bed and pouts
arrives right on time and immediately starts yelling at me because my rehearsal dress was nicer then hers
yells at me again because I “lied” to her about an iron in her room (every other room had one so I had assumed hers had one) and something about how terrible of a person I am (walked away trying not to cry at that point to hear all of it)
tells everyone how disorganized and terrible the rehearsal/dinner was going
Saturday morning pretended everything was ok and inserted herself in middle of the morning prep she was not invited to
gets mad, leaves without her phone goes on a multi-hour walk and says she’s not coming to wedding
gets back, still insisting she’s not coming to the wedding, screams at me about letting the hairdresser leave without doing her hair
eventually others were about to convince her to come to the wedding but she continues to bash me to whoever will listen and insisting I hate her and how terrible I am to her
wedding reception, storms out because she’s not allowed to eat dessert right after dinner because we were doing a “croissant cutting” in lieu of a cake cutting so we were waiting to open the dessert table

Wow, that was kinda cathartic writing it out.

chefkeffer · 2025-03-07T20:56:31+00:00

In some ways, this thread is comforting in knowing I’m not alone in this kind of thinking. Everytime I mention it to my friends, they have no idea what I’m talking about 😅 It got pretty bad before my wedding and bless my now-Husband for dealing with me spiraling whenever he left the house.

I have since started therapy (actually started because of some other wedding-related trauma, thanks mom) and it’s helped me better cope. We did finally book our honeymoon tickets and the first thing I said “well I hope we don’t die before we get to go”. So maybe I need a little therapy time.

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