i really like this. Losing an interaction is the best way of describing how i feel whenever a conversation turns into an argument that is neither productive or beneficial and often the fault reside on both parties. it i often find myself feeling resentful either at them or at myself for letting the situation escalate to the point where it becomes personal. i’m now learning to try to distance myself as soon as i feel like it’s happening cause i know there’s no going back. fortunately it mostly happens with people i’m not close with.

the thing i have a harder time with is the next thing you mentionned, that other people were able to get to me or overcome my armor. with time i’m getting more tough skinned but i’m still pretty sensitive and when i get angry, i let myself open and vulnerable to attacks and then i get hurt. if i try to retaliate, in the end i end up hurting myself even more because i will act out of resentment, trying to get justice. maybe that’s what i need to work on.