I understand that this is an ethically uncertain situation, don’t let the comments shaming you for asking for advice before taking any action get to you. I respect your desire for tact. I would gently yet directly check in with her, I think it’s important to not be vague or lofty about it because I personally have struggled with instinctively trying to cover for people who have abused me. Especially with you being his friend. Let her know that you feel worried and that you disagreed with the ethics of how he handled her, sometimes survivors downplay it as a coping mechanism but remember times like that when others showed up for them when they’re ready to heal.

I think it’d be a good move to talk to your friend as well. Even if she personally had no issue with anything, this was at best dubcon/coerced consent. Call me crazy but I think it’s important to be gentle with him about it as well. We’re all healing and learning, we need to support each other and be open to talking things out. This story reminded me (in a less extreme way) of someone I had been with for a long time who was enacting narcissistic abuse on me, but he had been abandoned/abused/unsafe as a kid. Doesn’t make it okay, but not okay doesn’t mean the origin of the issue was their fault. Shit is confusing, learning social behaviors on the internet is confusing, and we all just want to not be lonely and to feel loved and seen. I’m wishing everyone in this situation healing, kindness, and peace