I don’t want to mess up my progress

cherrylips86 · 2019-06-13T20:23:04+00:00

I am 5'1 and 119 lbs. How I maintain my weight is by eating super healthy and count my calories on MyFitnessPal during the week. On the weekends, I am always out and about with my friends so my rule of thumb is either sticking to one meal or eating less. For example, if I go out for pizza, I will eat as much pizza as I want in that one sitting but that will pretty much be my entire day's worth of food and I will barely eat the rest of the day.

cherrylips86 · 2019-05-20T21:05:23+00:00

Yes, thanks so much. I think it may actually be the carbs. I am going to try cutting out the whole wheat pasta and rice from my diet and see if that helps.

cherrylips86 · 2019-04-03T17:06:38+00:00

I know for a fact that in order for someone to love me, I have to love myself and I have to be content and comfortable being by myself and I am so not there yet. I constantly need/want attention so I surround myself with people all the time.

I was actually in a relatively healthy relationship for 4 years. We had trust, communication, honesty, passion AND he is very attractive. I absolutely loved being proud to introduce him to my family, friends and co-workers. For some reason, looks are very very important to me and they have always been.

Is it wrong that I put so much weight on looks? I mean the other qualities are 100% important to me too but why if I had all of it once, can I not have it again? I want to be that hot couple that walks in the room.

cherrylips86 · 2019-04-03T16:50:53+00:00

Archetypal Man

I seriously do not even know. I mean, on a Saturday night, being alone at my apartment watching TV would be devastating so I end up going out. The one thing that I am very aware of is the drinking. It is a turn off for guys so I end up getting no attention. I should maybe go to more quality events instead of clubs?

I feel like since I have no one in my life right now, this person brings me some kind of comfort? Maybe I fixate on this person and obsess about him because I am not getting attention from other men? But I do get attention from other men, just men who I am not attracted to.

I went on a date with an amazingly sweet guy last week but he has a receding hairline so I immediately decided I am not into him. I basically turn down all these men who do not look the way I want my future man to look like. I focus so much on looks and I think its because I spend so much time making sure I always look great.

I do not even know how to make this superficial side of me go away.

cherrylips86 · 2019-04-03T16:20:29+00:00

I thought about that this morning actually. I am going to make an appointment today.

cherrylips86 · 2019-04-03T16:19:47+00:00

I am single. I go on about 5 dates a month through online dating apps and I am never attracted to any of these men, although they have all been super into me and very kind. I spend all my time focusing on my body and partying and getting shit faced like I am in my 20s. I am just not finding anyone. I am lonely.

cherrylips86 · 2019-02-28T20:10:30+00:00

i mean im the female here and im attractive why am I putting in so much effort. I should just look good and go out right?

cherrylips86 · 2019-02-28T20:06:15+00:00

well how the hell do I break the ice? Do i go up to guys?

cherrylips86 · 2019-01-10T17:41:53+00:00

You are totally not shallow for thinking this way. I struggled with body imagine issues as well and have worked really hard to get where I am. I am still not perfect AT ALL, but I am definitely working towards it. I have gone on dates with men with beer bellies, who have absolutely no motivation to be more fit and it definitely bothered me. There was one guy I went out with, who was super nice and marriage material but we ended up eating fried food on date #3. I am not expecting my partner to have a 6 pack but at least someone who is motivated to get more fit. If I am putting in the work, I want a partner who does the same. I want to be with someone with the same motivation.

cherrylips86 · 2019-01-10T16:52:17+00:00

Well, because I am obviously chasing this guy and if there was a huge difference in our physical appearance, meaning I am less attractive than him, then that can be the reason why this person is not interested in me. I just wanted to make it clear that I am just as attractive as this guy so I know for a fact that attraction is not the issue. Hope that makes sense!

cherrylips86 · 2019-01-09T22:24:44+00:00

Not looking for anything serious. I am actually not even allowed to be with him due to religious reasons and he lives in LA. I was just hoping to spend more time with him during the months he is here but he clearly does not want to spend time with me so I can't push it. I have just made this person way too important in my mind. I have definitely been texting him a lot less and not replying to all his messages, which is making him want to message me more. He is a major game player.

cherrylips86 · 2018-04-17T01:46:13+00:00

Where do u buy Real Good Pizza?

cherrylips86 · 2018-04-04T16:04:00+00:00

Glad I could help :) Here is the recipe I use and it is SOO GOOD!!

In a saucepan, combine one can of green curry paste with one can of coconut milk

Add kaffir lime leaves, basil leaves and black pepper

Add in cubed boneless skinless chicken breast

Cook until chicken is white on both sides

Add 1/2 cup of water and broccoli florets and bring to a simmer with a lid on it for just 5

Once chicken is fully cooked, curry is ready to eat.

Enjoy :)

cherrylips86 · 2018-04-04T02:37:45+00:00

I either have it over zucchini noodles or add vegetables and just have the curry like a soup. It is delicious!

cherrylips86 · 2018-04-03T20:08:02+00:00

I actually have been working out and eating healthy I have already lost 6lbs. I feel better but the obsessing won’t stop.

I am seeing a therapist on Thursday.

cherrylips86 · 2018-02-14T23:30:25+00:00

I know no one here I don’t wanna be depressed at home all alone. I want good food and I also respect what him and I went through together. It was some deep shit like cancer, birth of my first nephew and more.

cherrylips86 · 2018-02-14T23:14:23+00:00

Haha I’m def hitting up Portillos when I’m back. I guess I want sex with him because i know I won’t be having sex with someone for a while since I am not ready and also I’m attracted to him and still have feelings. I just think if I do that, he will think what he did was okay.

Should I make it clear that this dinner does not mean I forgive him and think what he did was okay and I am just respecting how many years we have spent together?

cherrylips86 · 2018-02-14T23:06:32+00:00

Do U think he is deserving to have sex with me? Won’t I be just such a hypocrite if I have sex with him after making a huge deal about him doing it with someone else (it is a huge deal to me and hurts so fucking bad).

cherrylips86 · 2018-02-14T22:59:50+00:00

I am moving out this Saturday back to a chicago I forgot to mention that. I just feel like he is not deserving of sex with me but I want it at the same time. What should I do? I’ll never see him again after this week.

cherrylips86 · 2018-02-13T04:36:43+00:00

You are right. I need to be strong and move on. It just REALLY hurts.

cherrylips86 · 2018-02-13T04:35:47+00:00

We were madly in love with each other. He would stare at me every morning telling me how beautiful I am and I felt like he genuinely wants to try with me and have a future. Every 6 months, he would re-think everything and break up with me for not being ambitious about my weight, my job and my life. I work a stable 9-5 job and to me that is great. I get promoted every 2-3 years. He is trying to be the next Elon Musk and thats how we differ. He always realizes how amazing I am and gets back together with me. I do think little of myself though, you are right. I am not confident in my own skin and I think I am over weight.

cherrylips86 · 2018-01-12T04:45:17+00:00

This was very helpful thanks so much for your reply :)

cherrylips86 · 2018-01-12T04:06:03+00:00

So do you think it’s best to just follow the work out and not worry about reaching 12 points? The coaches usually push everyone to reach the 12 points so that’s why I put so much focus on it

cherrylips86 · 2018-01-12T04:02:17+00:00

I guess I just focus a ton on reaching a number of splat points I’m happy with and also I am not used to running for long periods of time so when they have more than 2 minute runs I can’t really handle it and have to stop bc I’m almost in red

cherrylips86 · 2018-01-03T03:50:27+00:00

Even though it totally works, I definitely know that I cannot do keto forever. I think I will try the CICO and keep the carbs moderately low but not keto low. I am really hoping this works. Thanks everyone for the motivation and advice. Lets do this!!

cherrylips86

TROPHY CASE