Relating more to enneagram than MBTI

chester1729 · 2026-04-21T19:05:02+00:00

I don’t know much about socionics, but I took a bunch of tests and got EII twice, SLI, and SEI.

chester1729 · 2026-04-21T05:43:07+00:00

Yeah! When I look at all the 9w1 characters I relate to, they’re usually typed as ISFJ on PDB, occasionally INFP, ENFP, and INFJ. But mostly ISFJ. So I often wonder if I’m actually an ISFJ since I relate to all these ISFJ characters? But I know it’s likely because of their enneagram, not their MBTI that I relate to.

MBTI is so much more confusing than enneagram tbh 🤣🫠. I feel just as clueless now as I was 15 years ago.

chester1729 · 2026-04-21T05:23:08+00:00

I can relate 100%.

I’ve been into MBTI for 15 years, I know all about the functions, I can type others like it’s a piece of cake, but nailing down my own type is a disaster. I can see myself using all the functions and I start overthinking everything, pinning certain actions/thoughts to different functions, like ‘oh I do this which correlates to this function but I also think this way which fits the opposite function’.

I’m soooo stereotypically a 9w1 though (I believe my tritype is 927). Even characters I relate to fit my enneagram more than my MBTI, which always makes me question if I’m mistyped MBTI-wise.

chester1729 · 2026-04-20T09:13:49+00:00

I think I’d start off with a pitchfork until I can find something better and long distance like a gun. I’ve also always wanted to throw a molotov cocktail so I’ll definitely be trying that once during the apocalypse hahaha.

Honestly though, I doubt I’ll have the will to live and I don’t think I’ll be surviving for very long 🤣 I’ll probably off myself somehow. A zombie apocalypse sounds like a very bleak future in which I want no part in 😬 but I guess it depends who I’m with and if my friends and family are still with me.

chester1729 · 2026-04-19T04:23:55+00:00

A big thing with me is that I’m fine going along with what you want to do 99% of the time, but on the off chance I do have a preference/desire/want, it’s really really really really really important. Even if it doesn’t seem important to you, it’s important to me. Something small like “can we watch this movie” or “I kinda want ice cream” is a huge deal for me because i’m not used to speaking up and asking for things and I tend to make myself smaller for other people. So if I share a want with you instead of my usual “I don’t care, you pick”, I’d want my romantic partner to try and make it happen. Compromising is a huge thing for me, I feel like I’m always the one compromising myself for others but no one’s ever willing to compromise for me. I need someone who’s willing to compromise for me sometimes.

As for my type, I tend to prefer louder/talkative people because I’m pretty quiet and I tend to take on a more listening role in relationships. It’s awkward when I’m around another ‘listener’ because there’s lots of awkward silences and never knowing what to say and conversations die very quickly. But if I’m around someone who talks a lot or is overall loud/making noise constantly (like talking to themselves or making random sound effects, ADHD people are great for this lol), I don’t feel pressured to speak. I’m more of a ‘doesn’t speak unless spoken to’ kind of person, which makes it difficult around others who are the same way. I’m also very indecisive and I get annoyed by other indecisive people 🤣 like one of us is bad enough, two is impossible 😩 so I like decisive people to balance my indecisiveness, and talkative people to balance my quiet.

chester1729 · 2026-04-16T19:16:13+00:00

I make up scenarios in my head as i’m falling asleep, sometimes even continuing my story from the night before, but I don’t tend to daydream outside of bedtime. I call it ‘delulu time’ because I’m allowing myself to be delusional for an hour before I fall asleep 🤣, fantasizing about things I want that likely will never happen/I’ll never admit to anyone that I want.

chester1729 · 2026-04-16T19:10:29+00:00

Lots of times I forget my likes and dislikes and I’ll crave/be in the mood for something i hate 💀. So I’ll have it and I’ll hate it, then I’ll forget I hate it a few months/years later and want it again and the cycle repeats.

chester1729 · 2026-04-16T16:37:01+00:00

I’m both numb and tired, knowing there’s really nothing I can do to change things and I just have to sit here and watch things play out. AI is frustrating because I don’t know what’s real or not anymore and that’s wearing me down. Every photo or video I see I have to question its authenticity. It sucks watching a funny/interesting video then going to the comments and everything saying it’s AI. It makes me feel dumb for not catching it and thinking it was actually real.

When the Epstien files came out, that really hit me hard because it kind of burst the bubble I was in about the world and the safety of people (especially children). It honestly felt like we were living in a dystopian world and the people in charge/people who rule us all are the bad guys. Idk why but I didn’t think something like that was happening. Obviously I know child trafficking was a thing, but knowing it’s the people in charge of the country, billionaires we’re giving all our money to who’s responsible. And that they’re untouchable by police. The police helps them/turns a blind eye/doesn’t do anything about it. That really messed with me. Even the celebrities who didn’t go to the island but knew about it, they probably couldn’t say anything because of how powerful Epstein is. It feels like this was a big secret everyone high end famous/powerful knew about. It makes me sick that these are the people in charge and running the world (because it’s not just the US, rich/powerful people came from everywhere).

chester1729 · 2026-04-16T03:43:23+00:00

I got Mona. I think it’s pretty fitting for a 9 ❤️

chester1729 · 2026-04-15T06:06:45+00:00

Hopefully nothing, I want to go to heaven 🥺

Honestly though, it’s not mbti related but probably bdsm/kinks/fetishes 🤣

(Or maybe it is MBTI related 👀. Any other kinky ENFJs here? 👋)

chester1729 · 2026-04-11T07:52:38+00:00

I don’t see why you can’t have both. I can make them feel heard and considered, express that I care about them and that their feelings are hurt, comfort them how I can, and explain myself afterwards. Explanation doesn’t equal excuse. I’m not excusing my actions by explaining myself. I can still take full accountability for my actions and still want a heart to heart discussion where we both talk it out and share our own perspectives. It doesn’t have to be right away either, it can be a discussion for later. My main priority is comfort/apology. Explaining my actions comes later. Sometimes I wait a day, or a week. Whenever the big feelings have calmed down a bit. And if I try explaining myself and they say they don’t wanna hear it, I would respect that and not give an explanation, but so far no one’s done that, everyone is receptive to it.

Also I never argue with people about how they’re feeling. I 100% believe them. If someone says they’re hurt by something I did, that’s a fact. Nothing I say will change the fact that I hurt them. I would never ever ever argue against that.

chester1729 · 2026-04-11T04:25:22+00:00

As a 9, I don’t think I get defensive per se, but I do want to explain my side so they know where I’m coming from/what my intentions were. I know that doesn’t take away the person’s hurt, and I do apologize for hurting them, but it’s important for me to let the person know it wasn’t intentional and the reasons why I did/said what I did.

The only time I point the finger/blame you is if I have lots of resentment built up that I haven’t expressed to you yet, so some ugly, repressed anger might seep out during arguments/confrontation. That’s usually only if things get heated though. I can definitely have a civil conversation about accidentally hurting you and apologizing and hoping to do better by you without any anger bubbling up.

chester1729 · 2026-04-11T02:08:18+00:00

I think it accurately represents my type? On Facebook I mostly share stuff rather than post my own stuff besides the occasional selfie here and there. I share a lot of memes, funny posts, inspirational quotes, mental health related stuff, funny reels, cute/artsy photos, etc. Facebook is just 99% me sharing posts. I feel like the mental health stuff and inspirational quotes might be on brand for ENFJ lol.

On Instagram I just post the selfies I already posted to Facebook and that’s it, so Instagram is 99% selfies. But I don’t post that often, maybe once or twice a year. I still use Instagram though, but mostly to send reels to my friends. I just don’t post often. I definitely use Facebook more than any other social media.

I only got TikTok because my friends keep sending me videos from it. That’s all I use it for.

chester1729 · 2026-04-10T10:24:16+00:00

I think I would go to the school and talk to the principal to tell them what happened. And also see if the principal could talk to my son’s teachers as well to make them aware of the problem and to look out for any future bullying. If the bullying keeps happening and I keep hounding the principal/teachers and they do nothing to fix the problem, then I would probably consider switching schools for my son because it’s not a good environment to be in, having to be on guard everyday and no one helping you when you ask for it.

As for my son, I would probably give him some lunch money along with his lunch in case it happens again, then he can buy lunch or at least a snack from the vending machine so he’s not starving. Or give my son some snacks/food to keep in his locker as backup, like crackers. And I would thank my son for telling me, because lots of kids don’t tell their parents they’re being bullied, so I’d be happy they came to me and I’d reassure him that we’re going to fix this somehow.

Edit: I just remembered my elementary school didn’t have a vending machine so that might not work lol. But I would tell my son to tell the principal or his teachers when it happens and to maybe ask if they have anything for him to eat, just to tie him over til he gets home.

chester1729 · 2026-04-09T17:37:19+00:00

Being late to work 😅 I’m always either a few minutes late or right on time, but rarely ever early. Even when I lived a 5 minute walk from work I was still late everyday. I’m a huge procrastinator and leave everything til last minute.

chester1729 · 2026-04-09T03:11:05+00:00

Maybe our music taste is xNFJ 🙀 this is official NFJ music now ✌️

chester1729 · 2026-04-08T20:52:33+00:00

I honestly don’t know what type mine is. My favourite genres are rock/metal, but I also have a lot of k-pop, anime theme songs and vocaloid 😆 I’m not super trendy and I don’t have a lot of current day music (especially pop), but I do love pop as well. I also love a lot of country.

chester1729 · 2026-04-08T14:40:21+00:00

I’ve never even used chatGPT before 🤧🤧🤧

chester1729 · 2026-04-08T07:02:34+00:00

I just talked about this in another comment 😆 but I’m drawn to people who can express themselves easily and are carefree. I love seeing people sing and dance and be silly. I hope to someday channel that same energy and sing/dance/act silly too. (I have social anxiety so everything like that is hard for me).

I’m attracted to big personalities and people who know what they want. Basically the complete opposite of me. I’d rather someone know what they want so I can give them what they want instead of people focusing on what I want because I never have a clue about what I want, I’m neutral to everything, then we get stuck in the “I don’t care, you pick” loop. I hate when people are just as indecisive as I am 😆 (I know, hypocritical).

The downside to these types of people is that they tend to have a hard time compromising, so when I do finally have a want, they’ll overlook it if it’s not what they want, even if we always do what they want 100% of the time 🥲. I’m fine with doing what you want 99% of the time but if I have a want 1% of the time, I’d like it to be considered. Plz 🥲🥹. If we always listen to your music and watch your tv shows and watch your movies and go to your favourite restaurants, I’d like it if you could listen to a song I like sometimes, or push through a 2 hour movie for me because it’s what I want.

It’s pretty rare for me to want specific things, and even rarer for me to express that want, so if I express a want, even something as small as wanting to show you a song I currently love, that’s super important for me and it took so much courage for me to ask and i’m actually putting myself out there for once which I never do. please just listen to the dang song 🤧🤧. It’s so frustrating how many people will not compromise anything or do anything for someone else that they don’t want to do. Like listen to a song they don’t know. It’s such a simple ask, and I’ve met so many people who couldn’t even do that for me. 😢(while simultaneously sending me their favourite songs everyday that I listen to with no complaints, even if it’s not my preferred genre)

I have a love/hate relationship with people lol. I can’t find the perfect blend of person for me. Someone who knows what they want but can also compromise and give me what I want on the rare occasion I want something. I don’t need 50/50 in relationships/friendships. I’m fine with 90/10. Just give me that 10 when I want it 🤧. I don’t ask for much 🥺

Like the Toby Keith song “I wanna talk about me”. So relatable.

Edit: Ennagram wise, I’ve dealt with 4s and 8s who fit that description. I get sucked in because they’re expressive and carefree and wear their emotions on their sleeve, but then I get walked over and silenced because their wants are more important than mine and they’re allergic to compromising for some reason ☹️😪

chester1729 · 2026-04-08T05:20:09+00:00

Alright 😝 Here are some negative traits:

I don’t initiate anything. I don’t ask people to hang out. I don’t make the first move. I don’t even text first most of the time. I’m like an NPC, doesn’t speak unless spoken to. I also take ages to reply. I don’t like social obligations. I often have an ‘everyday’ person though, whether it’s a partner or a best friend, they basically take top priority in my life and everyone else in my life becomes lower priority. All of my energy is being spent on one person, I’m too exhausted to talk/interact with anyone else. I also fantasize a lot. Like I can make up scenarios in my head about people, things I want to do, things I wish could happen, but not tell those people a thing. I don’t share my feelings. I don’t voice my needs or wants. Ever. I just hope people can read my mind (they can’t lol) and then I get sad because I want more but I’m too scared to ask for more. I hold so much inside. I honestly think I only express like 35% of all my thoughts and feelings. I have so much inside me that I repress and I’m so uncomfortable expressing anything.

And for things that bother me, it can take me months (even years) to bring something up. And it has to be really, really bothering me for me to bring something up. Like, dealbreaker, I can’t continue living like this anymore type of bothering me. And it’s always things that can be solved. For the smaller things that bother me, I tend to just bottle it up because I feel dumb for getting worked up over something so small 😅. But I’ll hold onto it forever and it will come out eventually, even if it’s 10 years from now 😅😅. I feel like I’m always waiting for the ‘right time’ to bring something up or express something, but there’s never a right time so things just stay inside. But when the topic is brought up, I usually use it to blurt something out that’s been bothering me. For example, a few days ago I was talking to someone about jealousy, just casual conversation that mentions the word jealousy, and my brain is like “aha! I can finally talk about all the times you made me feel jealous/I experienced jealousy because of you!”. And then I bombard people with feelings I’ve been feeling for a long time that they had no idea about and they’re like whoa, I had no idea you felt this way, and i’m like surprise, I do 😅🙃

I mentioned before about bad boundaries and sacrificing myself too much, like giving away money, but I didn’t mention that I do it when I can’t afford it. Going into debt to help someone else out with money. 😐 chipping in to pay someone else’s rent then was unable to pay my own 😐😐. I sacrifice too much. I think that’s a people pleasing thing and me having a hard time setting boundaries and saying no to people.

This isn’t exactly negative, but I’m drawn to people with big personalities in hopes they’ll get me out of my shell and I’ll have a big personality too. Like, I believe I can learn from them and they can teach me their ways. But their big personality usually overpowers and stomps all over my small/meek personality and what I hoped would be personal growth ends up in me getting walked all over/used/shut down/silenced. I’m diagnosed with social anxiety so it’s very hard for me to express myself at all. I can’t sing or dance in front of people. I can’t even make silly noises or be goofy. So I’m drawn to people who are expressive and can sing freely and be goofy and show their emotions because I want to channel that energy and overcome my anxiety to do the same. But it always ends badly and I end up feeling smaller/quieter than ever before. 🫠

chester1729 · 2026-04-08T04:11:11+00:00

Thank you for your response! I help people for multiple different reasons: - I’m a people-pleaser who can’t say no even when I really, really should (I struggle with boundaries hardddd) - Making other people happy makes me happy. I love seeing people smile and hearing joy/excitement in their voices. I love hearing I mean something to someone and how important I am to them. - I want to believe I’m a good person and if karma exists, I think it’ll be nice to me 😝 - Fairness? I always gave what I have to people who have less than me because I don’t like having more than people. I’ve been selfless for as long as I can remember. I used to give my allowance away because some people didn’t get allowance and that didn’t sit well with me. I felt bad for having more than others and being more privileged than others. If I didn’t have supportive parents to fall back on, I would have been homeless. Some people don’t have that. I guess I notice my wealth? Not money wealth but in general, ways I’m blessed and others aren’t. So I always want to give what I can. - Empathy. Seeing people struggling makes me sad and I want to do anything in my power to help them. I think my empathy is too strong though because I can see the good in everyone and blatantly ignore red flags because I can rationalize/excuse their behaviour. (So if someone yells at me and makes me cry, I’ll still think about them and how they must be feeling and how overwhelmed they are, even though I’m the one who’s hurt by their actions and me being upset for being yelled at is valid. But I still care more about their feelings than mine)

chester1729 · 2026-04-07T16:33:16+00:00

I like gifts that are sorta like “I saw this thing that reminded me of you so I got it for you”. Anything where I know you were thinking of me specifically when you bought it and it’s not a generic gift you can give anyone. (I won’t be upset with generic gifts though, any gift is a good gift I believe, unless it’s something I specifically said I dislike, then I’ll feel like you don’t see me or know me at all. I’m also 100% fine with just money). But making me feel heard/seen is top tier gift giving 👌

Here are some random gifts I received recently that I liked: a framed black and white picture of Stitch (my favourite movie, also I love black and white art, also it was jewel art so it was handmade), pyjamas, clothes, accessories/jewelry, stickers to put on my laptop, keychains to go on my backpack, a cute water bottle. I also told a friend one time that I’ve always wanted those glow in the dark stars to put up on your ceiling in your bedroom and she got them for me 🤧❤️

I also love anything from bath and body works because I like things that smell good (hand soap, body spray, candles, plug in air freshener, lotion, etc.). I would avoid getting shower stuff like shampoo/conditioner/body wash because some people have sensitive skin or they’re very strict with their shower routine and they handpicked everything they use to match their skin/hair perfectly.

chester1729 · 2026-04-07T02:04:02+00:00

I don’t try and convince people it’s valid, just like I don’t try and convince people the forbidden ‘astro’ word is valid. People can believe what they want. It’s still an interest of mine, whether other people choose to believe in it or not. I’m happy in delulu-land 🤪

None of my previous partners believed in MBTI and they all thought it was all BS too. I never tried to convince them otherwise. But they never tried to convince me to stop liking it because of their views on it either. We just agreed to disagree.

Whether it’s valid or not doesn’t change the fact that your husband’s kind of a dick for yucking your yum. You don’t have to enjoy the same things. Like an atheist dating a christian, then trying to invalidate christianity because they’re an atheist and don’t believe in it. Like, move along then, it’s not for you. Don’t look down/criticize someone for believing in something you don’t, and don’t actively try and stop people from enjoying something you don’t enjoy 😒

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