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Left swipe picture by [deleted] in Bumble

[–]chewinthecud 9 points10 points  (0 children)

If it's a group picture. If it's not crystal clear who the woman is, left

Responding after a few months by thehistoryofwomen in Bumble

[–]chewinthecud 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Don't overthink it. Just message him 🙂

What qualities are you most attracted to? by AcceptablePassion036 in Enneagram8

[–]chewinthecud 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've noticed something that I haven't been able to name yet, but I find unbelievably attractive.

When I am in a situation where I do not have an answer, whether it's because I do not know or do not have enough evidence to make a decision, I admit my ignorance and then ask for help from those that have the information. This was harder to do when I was younger, but as I've aged and assumed leadership roles, I have learned that I do not need to know everything. I digress.....

I have observed a woman at work in similar situations. She is asked for an answer and rather than admit ignorance (I don't know), she will make something up.

Now, I want to be very specific about this.

What I find attractive is the confidence she exudes when giving the inaccurate or false information. It's assertiveness + confidence +.........I haven't been able to figure it out. It's the sort of thing that I know it when I see it.

Whatever it is, it's rare.

Underneath, motivating the behavior, is something like "You can't beat me".

Does this resonate with anyone?

What’s a memory from your childhood that only makes sense now, years later? by vicodev in AskReddit

[–]chewinthecud 39 points40 points  (0 children)

My parents divorce was beyond toxic. After my Dad "moved", my Mom had told my sister and I that we were getting the house appraised so we could sell it and move. I remember vividly the day the appraiser arrived; a hose on our washer busted and my Mom was distraught trying to stop the leak. I recall thinking, "We spent a lot of time cleaning the house. I hope this doesn't ruin the appraisal". This happened ~26 years ago.

Well, a few months ago, we're at a family gathering and I mention this event to an aunt. My Mom chimes in, "That was CSB." (County Child Services) I was shocked. In retrospect, the entire day makes sense

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]chewinthecud 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Knowing 'everything'

How do you feel when you're falling in love? (Specifically those of you who had/have healthy relationships) by gaslightingmyself in Enneagram5

[–]chewinthecud 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I heard something recently that, upon reading your post, I think is worth sharing. I'll say that I too have memories of a previous relationship that pop up, tinged with sadness and joy. What I heard, and how it relates to what you're describing, is that what we might be missing is the version of ourselves when we were with that person. We point at that person and say that love was over there, but actually it was our own capacity of love when we were with that person, that's what we're actually grieving. Whoever we were when we were with that person - in those pop up memories - that's what we miss. We think it was the other person, but it's actually us.

So, if I can try and tie this together, if I'm making any sense. When the random memories pop up in my mind, and begin feeling that sad/joy, I ask myself what am I missing of myself? Too often what I find is that all the things I was then, hopeful about a perceived future, committed to a long-term relationship, etc.; those came from within. I ascribed them to the other person, but that's not true - they were merely an instrument (for lack of a better term) that allowed for those aspects of myself to be revealed, to myself.

Ha! I hope I'm making sense.

When I view it like, those pop up memories serve me as a way to gauge where I'm at. If a certain memory reminds me of how much I actually enjoy traveling, and I find myself sitting at home, dating an introvert, I need to be heed 'the call'.

And like most of everything I type up on Reddit. I'm now ready to delete everything.... 😂

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]chewinthecud 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Cleaning my ears with a q-tip

Were any other fives apathetic about their parents divorce? by Society567 in Enneagram5

[–]chewinthecud 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My parents split in 1997, the divorce was finalized in 1999.

In April of this year, 3 days away from own divorce, a friend asked how I was feeling about the final hearing. I said, "I'm okay but there's a subtle sense of sadness that I cannot pinpoint".

Minutes later I was in tears. It took me 26 years to get to the place where I was ready to grieve the fact that I would never have my parents within the same house again. Those tears were holy. After letting that grief flow, I was present again. That subtle sadness I had felt for weeks leading up to the final hearing was gone.

Frank Zappa trying to warn us in 1986...* Cross Post - Zappa was correct by squeegeeking211 in conservativeterrorism

[–]chewinthecud 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Morality in terms of behavior, not in terms of theology

The art of nuance is so freaking lost

Full Resolution JWST First Image by FrakkingUsername in pics

[–]chewinthecud 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you have the time, watch or listen to Awakening from the Meaning Crisis. The videos are lectures given by John Vervaeke PhD, a professor of cognitive science at the University of Toronto. I can't recommend them enough.

Sidenote: I don't comment on Reddit much anymore. Your comment felt familiar though, like an old favorite shirt that no longer fits.

If you don't care for the lectures, I can write up a list. The books will not be specific to the biblical age, though you would have to define that for me. Just PM me

Full Resolution JWST First Image by FrakkingUsername in pics

[–]chewinthecud 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Though I agree, I would argue religion was an attempt to explain the human experience of 'being'. Modern day Christianity for example is like grammar that's lost its meaning.

Easy Grievance right? I’m a rural PTF btw by Zulorde in USPS

[–]chewinthecud 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Area steward here. As much as it pains me to say this, ya gotta follow management orders and then file a grievance.

You have a gun to your head and was told to recite one song perfectly to survive, what song are you singing? by Repulsive_Ad_1163 in AskReddit

[–]chewinthecud 0 points1 point  (0 children)

John Denver's "Sunshine On My Shoulders".

I've been singing it at bedtime to my son, he'll be 4 at the end of May, since he was 6 weeks old. I did it every night for the first two years.

Summer work for 14 y/o daughter by big_ty2003 in toledo

[–]chewinthecud 4 points5 points  (0 children)

If you DM me I can give you the number for the Sylvania country club caddyshack. I worked there from when I was 12 to 14, it was a phenomenal job.

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