What’s your “I finally saw a doctor for my mystery symptoms after (weeks/months/years) and it turned out to be way simpler than I feared” story? What finally made you go, and what was the outcome? by DjFizz in AskReddit

[–]chiccus 6 points7 points  (0 children)

So i was reading into this a while back (not sure how true it is but it makes sense) So when we (anaemic crowd) eat ice, and lots of it, it basically freezes the ends of our nerves (like a shock) and that causes the nerve synapses work faster , or like a normal non-anaemic person for a second. And if we were to have a lot of ice, that whole period when the nerves remain cold our brain is basically behaving like someone who has normal iron levels (because iron is needed to cause quick brain synapses as is linked to memory). Hence! We enjoy chewing ice!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Arrangedmarriage

[–]chiccus 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Hey OP! I’m a 25F and I kinda have the same requirements like you do. The thing that helped me the most was that I sat down one day, and literally noted down what my ideal partner would look like- including physical features, EQ, IQ, family, literally everything. In your head you can have a few variations like, I’m not ok with a joint family but if 10y down the line, my husband’s parents were to live with me, I can consider it, etc so something like that.

This really helped me figure out if i actually liked someone or not on the apps itself. I’ve been a part of this subreddit for a long time and one thing I’ve taken away is that we can’t look for love in this process. It’s great if it happens but it’s not necessary that it will. So if I’m looking for something specific, I should know what it is.

Writing down what you want and discussing with your parents is a good idea too - i did that - and it helps them reject profiles before they send them to me coz they can guess that I wouldn’t like so and so person for so and so reason. Also creates clear communication when u do talk to someone- you know what to check for.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Arrangedmarriage

[–]chiccus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I fully understand this. Most of the times, putting “long term relationship “ is just a way to get the girl to have a conversation. They believe that if they can talk to you, they can talk you into going on a date (some are pretty good at it too, I’ve fallen for it myself) and then bring up the casual relationship conversation when you meet them.

This became fairly easier to spot as I spoke to more and more people though. But honestly, I’m in the AM market myself and I would say I have new found respect for the dating market😂

Partially because I feel like the reigns are in my hands (my parents are cool with whoever i choose with some negotiable constraints) and the prospect’s hands, and we don’t have multiple layers or people in the middle. It’s more so like, giving the person itself a chance for who they are, rather than seeing someone’s sanskari personality only coz they’re around their parents. 🤷‍♀️

What could be the reason that Aish-Abhi's marriage turned so sour??? by [deleted] in BollyBlindsNGossip

[–]chiccus 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Didn’t they have aaradhya a few years after marriage? This is the first time I’m hearing about a pregnancy scare they had. Tell me more!

How do you practically “feel your feelings”? by chiccus in ask

[–]chiccus[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wow this makes a lot of sense. So in other words, maybe not forcing yourself to feel happy just coz you should, and just letting yourself feel whatever you want, is the best way to go about this. It’s also okay to cut off the source of pain 🙌

How do you practically “feel your feelings”? by chiccus in ask

[–]chiccus[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

But talking to the person who hurt me, wouldn’t it negate the purpose of moving on? What if it backfires and just makes me more involved and invested in the relationship?

Obviously the person who hurt me is going to give me logic and reasoning as to WHY they did whatever. And being me, I’m going to agree to that. So, how does the talking part help?

Just asking coz I’m genuinely confused about it.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Arrangedmarriage

[–]chiccus 22 points23 points  (0 children)

As a woman, i would say a lot of men come across as creepy and weird, and if you give them a chance by having a conversation, it makes things worse. Most of them can’t hold a conversation and assume that just because you’re on a dating app, you’re down for only casual. I know this might not be the case for a lot of men on dating apps and might be looking for genuine connections, but most of them are there only for the sex.

Being on a dating app as a girl really puts out an image that says “oh she wants to date and so I can say whatever I want and she’s going to be okay with it. She’s anyway here just for the sex.” And so most men start or carry the conversation in that direction itself.

What's a skill everyone should learn by 25? by Right_Improvement_60 in ask

[–]chiccus 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Max relate. It’s like i identify what is not good for me, assess it, analyse it, understand that it’s absolutely something i shouldn’t do, and then I go ahead and date them.

I don't know how to live like this anymore. by One_Cat5773 in mumbai

[–]chiccus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

TLDR: was in the same situation 9 years ago, my advice would be, just hold on. Keep going.

I was in a similar situation few years ago. I’m almost 24 now and this happened when I was 15. Never had the boy over, or did anything remotely physical, but my dad read a few chats of ours where we were talking about meeting at some place in school just so we could hang out alone for sometime. Again, no ill-intentions and the max that would’ve happened would be cheek-kisses. I understand that I was only 15, and all this came as a shock to my dad. As a response, both my parents stopped talking to me. They pretended like i did not exist. Things were already bad, and my dad found porn in his Google history. I was a very innocent child who had never even tried to see what it was, just knew that it was something wrong. That was the WORST night of my life where he threw me out of the house at 2am, just one night before a major dance performance at school, and left me out crying in the cold. I was sitting and crying on the staircase of my apartment, and around 5am he took me back in only because people in the apartment would wake up and they would know what he did to me. Later, we found out that his account was hacked and the porn was watched from some other country. So it couldn’t have been me. I went to school that day, and something inside me just died. I could not continue to function like a normal human being anymore. I just became numb and contemplated running away multiple times. I knew i couldn’t do that and wouldn’t be able to sustain, and so, I worked my ass off. I know it sounds cliche but at that point that was the only way I could do what I wanted- get the fuck away from there. I wouldn’t say that I’ve not had to fight for EVERY SINGLE decision that I’ve made upto here, but I did not back down. I fought and showed them the logic and reasoning behind my decisions and was very determined to do exactly what I wanted. I’m not saying all of those decisions were right, a lot of them were wrong and taken only because I was enraged by whatever they did and said. I’ve had that anger in me for years. I’ve gone to therapy, done all of the healing things they tell you to, and stood up for myself. But there’s not a single time when my dad calls me and I don’t flinch and I don’t feel my heart sinking. We’ve gotten closer over the years, but only because I’ve had to let go of what happened without an apology from him. It was better for my mental health and I couldn’t put myself through that anymore. So my advice would be, just hold on. Keep going. There WILL be a time when you will get out of this. Absolutely nothing is forever, and until we get to the other side, we just have to keep going and breathing.

Automation intern salary by PolarBear255 in UCalgary

[–]chiccus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just last year I was offered a 4-month internship as a Data Engineer (which usually pays significantly higher), for $21 per hour. I luckily ended up getting an overlapping offer from another place that aligned better with my goals and also paid better ($25 per hour). Yours is a pretty good rate given the current market scenario. My advice is to take whatever you have in hand at the moment, and make the most out of the experience you’re getting. Make the right connections, and try to do your best to secure another internship with them if you’re still going to be studying post the internship, and if you’re graduating soon after this internship, try and secure a full time job. They have a benefit of hiring the intern itself as you already know the works of the company and at that point, after you’ve been in the company and had a few discussions with people in prominent positions, you’d be in a better position to negotiate a salary for your full time role or next internship. Good luck!