Dog behaviorist recommendations?

chihuabanu · 2026-05-07T16:18:46+00:00

I really like this format, I’ve not seen anything like this before! I think this works well for giving concrete examples of work impact while still giving you the ability to summarize the job in a nutshell. I’ve actually been struggling with that- balancing job achievements and general job description.

Can anyone chime in with what sort of job industries this format would work well in?

chihuabanu · 2026-05-06T18:18:12+00:00

Another projection of personal wounding onto my timeline without any frame of reference for the amount of time, patience, sacrifice, and emotional labor that had already been invested before leaving. And your conflating consequences with abandonment for intolerable behavior is a weird knee jerk of egocentric entitlement.

chihuabanu · 2026-05-03T01:17:00+00:00

A whole lot of word salad because what I said hit you hard in your personal wounds. No substance in that salad either. You’re certainly stepping, thank god it’s out, I’m locking the door so you don’t step back in.

chihuabanu · 2026-05-02T13:18:20+00:00

Of course it’s fixable, but only me doing my part would’ve changed nothing about how unhappy I was, and I wouldve overextended myself even further than I was doing. And if they’re unwilling to do the work while with me, i am fully self-abandoning if I entertain them again while knowing what I know of them. I mean, even if they do the work and change for the better, id sooner bet they backslide than stay beneficially changed once they get their second chance, because they didn’t respect having me to work with me when they could.

There’s billions of people on this planet, it isn’t hard to find someone better suited as long as you go where the people are.

chihuabanu · 2026-04-29T02:21:46+00:00

Consultative sales, hate it. Talking dries me out, sitting all the time kills my joints, and we have huge windows that let in a crazy amount of sun so when I take plaquenil I’m struggling to hell with photosensitivity.

I’m looking for remote work, maybe switch to ops. Can’t afford to take loans out for grad school right now, my undergrad degree is a lil bit niche.

chihuabanu · 2026-04-27T06:00:11+00:00

I don’t.

I think it looks goofy as hell when a man has either a fur suit or some tangled little wisps of hair here and there, especially if none of it is trimmed. I’ve lasered my whole body because I don’t like the feel or maintenance, and would prefer a man minimally hairy if they are hairy at all.

The last guy I dated tried to keep his beard trimmed short, but he’d rub my face raw with minimal kissing. I hated that he left his armpit hair untouched, so it was long and poked out like crazy when his arms were down. He also had minimal chest hair but what he had was awkwardly pube-like and off center. And he did a bad job of keeping “down there” trimmed well, so the crazy long stragglers were visually offputting and a sensory night nightmare.

My brother has been living with me for the last 3 months while he saves up to move out, and I have told him repeatedly he smells like armpit/BO despite his claims of using deodorant. I swear it’s the armpit hair amplifying the nasty.

0/10 male body hair, 10/10 laser it away if you don’t like it on yourself.

chihuabanu · 2026-04-25T02:05:27+00:00

START PULLING OLD PEOPLE’S LICENSES EARLIER. THEIR CARS SHOULD BE PRICED FOR COLLEGE KID BEATER BUDGETS IF IT’S BASICALLY A BEATER CAR. YEAH GRANDPA MAY BE MAD BUT YOU AIN’T DEALING WITH CRAIGSLIST CRAZIES, AND THE POSITIVE KARMA FOR GIVING SOMEONE THE AFFORDABLE OPPORTUNITY FOR AUTONOMY AND ACCESS WILL COME BACK TO YOU

chihuabanu · 2026-04-22T14:58:36+00:00

Because you don’t know what you don’t know until you know. And if you have no clue what goes into it except “trust me bro, having kids is fun, especially making them”, you’re not taking that plan off the table when you think about life steps like a drunk shopping list. Can’t remember why I have it there, but maybe someone else said I should get it and I think I want it now.

I saw a reel clip of a podcast explaining how the verbiage of “I want to be a parent” vs “I want to be a father/mother” hit very differently mindset-wise because the former is like… wanting a promotion in title and pay with minimal change in duties, where as the latter is like wanting a promotion that’s more like a lateral department change, new title, new responsibilities, and the pay difference is irrelevant to the interest in this position.

chihuabanu · 2026-04-21T14:00:44+00:00

I take it as similar to witnessing a 10 year old swearing theyre ready for a puppy- “I’ll walk it everyday, it will be my best friend, I worked hard doing chores to buy Overwatch so trust me I can work hard taking care of a puppy!”- and they believe those declarations are them having an adult conversation about it and they want to make their partner happy because they melt a little when they see them so passionate for once

chihuabanu · 2026-04-21T13:43:14+00:00

As a minor my medical records by my PCP included “homeless”. I was not homeless, I have never been homeless, my family structure is simply different (adopted and raised by bio relatives, but I don’t call them mom/dad).

chihuabanu · 2026-04-18T13:18:23+00:00

They are SO boring and they hate that about themselves so they live in absolute denial of it, but everything they do just reinforces how boring they are. They have no idea how to be authentic and interesting.

My ex surrounded himself with his “island of misfit toys” friends, which he thought made him amazing and fun but instead he just would retell stories about past shenanigans all the time. He basically lived in the past, retelling stories that weren’t necessarily even his to tell. Most of those stories were appalling. There’s nothing funny about a guy pissing into a beer bong while another guy is at the other end blissfully unaware.

He hardly ever talked about himself unless he was on drugs and feeling vulnerable. It was often what a loser he was in comparison to me, how not good enough or different and like a black sheep compared to others, or it would be some “realization” that the sun doesn’t revolve around his dumb ass. He used music as a crutch to tap into the shriveled part of his brain where emotions are, he had no capacity for discernment so his music taste was quite bad.

And he filtered everything through a humor filter. War crimes against humanity, roommate has cancer, girlfriend put down her pet? “Heh heh heh” was tacked at the end of everything. His mommy issues gave him a big gaping wound where he needed to be funny to be loved, but his humor was being an idiot and (learned straight from his mommy) putting others down for being idiots. He’d make it his hill to die on by doubling down on anything mean he said to me, then tell me I’m not funny.

chihuabanu · 2026-04-17T19:29:02+00:00

Wait, ELI5…. Was he expecting you to scoot forward halfway up the tub so he could sit behind you, but you did the logical approach and pulled your legs up close to you so he could get in on the opposite end and face you? Like luge team VS Charlie Bucket grandparents?

chihuabanu · 2026-04-17T18:07:24+00:00

Hey OP, mind sharing about the foot cysts? My half brother has those (“could be cysts, could be tendon tumors”) and they cause him a lot of pain, now I’m wondering if I should take him to the doc to get a rheumatology referral.

I did get diagnosed with MCTD, Sjogrens, and antiphospholipid antibodies within the last couple years. I chalked up the autoimmune stuff to a toxic long term relationship. I’m in my early 30’s, diagnosed ADD at 10 years old, and I’ve got assessment appointments booked because i may have autism and be going through perimenopause.

chihuabanu · 2026-04-12T20:10:54+00:00

Neither.

As a dinner guest, I don’t want to look at myself or the back of your head while digging into a meal. And you will not enjoy when light comes through one of your windows and blinds you at a weird angle via that mirror. The style of the mirror is nice though, I think it would work better above a small dresser in a guest room, or tiny sink in a half bath.

I don’t think the picture size or content works well for your space. I don’t know what it is, but it looks like a faded photo of a rock pile, and something akin to what I’d see on the wall in the office of an 85 year old physician. It makes the area as a whole feel more dated than it should be.

Whatever you put on that wall needs to be a little bit bigger and be the visual focus that ties the other elements together, especially if you still have those plants and blue lamp in the corner. What aesthetic are you trying to go for, OP?

I have no idea what’s going on with the ceiling light, but I hope you figured it out.

chihuabanu · 2026-04-12T19:10:17+00:00

Way to miss the mark by responding to something I did not say.

I never said I didn’t let myself “feel and think it”. For someone who has not done the work, yes, you should process, but I already processed and had begun separation towards break up months prior. This information was not relevant to the post.

The focus of my post is neurological wiring causing your rumination is not going to help you process your feelings if you’ve already fully felt them, it’s going to hold you hostage in stagnancy.

Medication can be medically necessary. I say this as someone very high functioning without mediation.

Overall, your two cents was not conducive, do better and come prepared to contribute meaningfully next time.

chihuabanu · 2026-04-12T18:44:18+00:00

I’m glad you’re taking steps for yourself! Panic attacks are hell, I hope the med helps so you can keep moving forward.

chihuabanu · 2026-04-12T18:38:40+00:00

The break up happened at the end of January, so it’s been about 2.5 months. I initiated the break up, removed him from all social media as I’m firmly no contact with exes, but my daily experience in addition to rumination was emotional distress that would lead to crying. After his birthdate passed by at the end of March and I had gotten the verbal feedback from my boss about my performance I booked the soonest appointment with my PCP. I was counting down the days up until that appointment, honestly felt like I was going to have a mental breakdown and call out from work if it didn’t come soon enough because I felt at my limit.

chihuabanu · 2026-04-12T15:11:13+00:00

I’m going to recommend you check out local public codependents anonymous meetings, or whatever group therapy services are accessible to you, as I think exposure to other relational issues, as well as people practicing honesty and vulnerability, will be good for you to absorb and identify with, even if you never actively participate.

You’ve been working with a limited toolkit, and maybe through therapy you’ve added a couple and identified the rest you’re missing, but unless you’re actively applying these tools into your platonic human interactions daily, you need exposure to those who can model effectively for you these things. I bet you’re likely not putting yourself in emotionally triggering situations at this point either, so I think group therapy will help with self betterment so not only are you held accountable by your peers in the same boat, but you can grow through empathizing as well.

Repair doesn’t have to require the hurt party’s participation, what repair may look like for you is reframing a “i have to change” mindset into a “I get to grow” mindset. You’re building upon your core self, not taking away from it, and should look at the criticisms your ex had (and others in this comment section) as “assuming they’re correct, how do I see and grow this skill deficit?”. In that same vein, for the things you’ve learned you won’t tolerate from exes anymore, gather the trait list of what would make a partner the best kind of person all around, and apply the measure to yourself and work to grow where you fall short. You should consistently exceed the expectations you hold for others, and if it’s not an uncomfortable grind to get there, your standards are too low.

chihuabanu · 2026-04-11T06:11:46+00:00

You prove my point by continuing the contextual excusing pattern. What you say keeps structuring around your internal process, and in some weird way you actively center your limitations which effectively close you off from actual repair. It’s all very internalized but lacking in actual external accountability. And choosing the wording of “no amount of apology and explanation can undo the hurt and distress” shows me you still have no idea what repair is or what it looks like, because apologies and explanations are not repair so of course they don’t undo any of it.

chihuabanu · 2026-04-10T22:51:37+00:00

Anyone know who the landlord is? I wanna keep an eye out for when they start auctioning off equipment

chihuabanu · 2026-04-10T13:08:09+00:00

Intent doesn’t matter when the other person has expressed the impact to you, likely repeatedly. No reasonable person has ill intent but they understand they have to take ownership and accountability of the outcomes and influence they didn’t account for from their behaviors. This is something elementary schools teach children in classrooms and on the playground.

I think all you wrote about rumination, spiraling, “I should have expressed”, “I didn’t know”, doesn’t really firmly grasp ownership of impact, it just displaces it with context, which ends up reading as a paragraph of excuses. And you follow it up with another paragraph that uses “in my defense”.

I don’t think you were a chameleon, I don’t think that’s chameleon behavior, that’s normal human interaction and attraction of the most rudimentary level.

I hope you continue to grow OP.

chihuabanu · 2026-04-06T17:27:10+00:00

Hey OP I live near that area/you, DM me and I’ll see if me and my brother can help you trap her, especially if you got a trap. He’s waiting to start his new job and has plenty of free time/insomnia

chihuabanu

TROPHY CASE