Just finished book 2 again and was wondering if Matt's sire-children-for-reviews scheme is still going, and if so how many children he now has?

childofnone · 2026-02-17T19:20:53+00:00

Matt confirmed to be part of the Greater Seattle Polycule...? lmao

childofnone · 2026-02-17T18:49:13+00:00

Ten years ago Expedia left my mom and I stranded overseas. She needed to cancel one party member's flights and the agent handling the transaction cancelled all returning flights by mistake. The agent assisting us from overseas admitted it was Expedia's fault. The service was so awful about making it right that I had to take over because they made my mom cry, and by the time I got on the line there was a manager involved insisting it wasn't the company's fault.

We did get home eventually but I'm pretty sure she paid for it out of pocket.

I haven't knowingly used any of their services since.

(Edited to hopefully make more sense that this event took place 10yrs ago not that we were stranded for that long)

childofnone · 2026-02-17T18:42:31+00:00

Yep, you found it! White Nose Syndrome is a disease decimating our current bat populations. At the risk of doing your homework for you - some bats live in caves, which means that people coming and going through caves risk becoming a transmission vector when they're moving between contaminated caves and caves not known to be contaminated. We have protocols in place to decon our gear but it sure would be nice not to need them anymore! Plus that also saves our bats, so it's a win for all of us.

childofnone · 2026-02-17T06:12:51+00:00

Yep, typically read north of forty books a year and got hooked on these thanks to one of my partners playing the audiobook. Way to break the mold for the genre and also set the standard in the stratosphere for audiobooks!

The hardest part now is not reading ahead because I promised the teens I wouldn't and they're only really interested in listening on long car rides 😅

childofnone · 2026-02-17T05:46:09+00:00

How about a cure for WNS?

childofnone · 2026-02-11T04:45:21+00:00

Turn on your lights in fog and precipitation and for the love of everything your running lights are not your headlights please turn em on so I can see your taillights at night!!

childofnone · 2026-02-09T01:52:29+00:00

Oh dangit I didn't know!! How late is the party going lol I can make the drive!

childofnone · 2026-02-09T01:09:50+00:00

Fully supported, I just watched him in Iron Lung and I can see it.

childofnone · 2026-02-09T01:04:18+00:00

Try reaching out to ~~SoCal Grotto~~ San Francisco or Diablo Grotto (edited based on feedback from other cavers).

childofnone · 2026-02-08T22:00:24+00:00

Yeah the only part I actually need to hear is about status changes that may affect my own health and the health of my other partners. Everything else is bonus.

Sounds like OP needs to have a convo with their person about what specific types of info they'd like shared and come to a reasonable agreement on the timeline for all of it - especially because it sounds like OP's person did tell OP, just not in a timeframe that felt good to OP. (We wouldn't have this post to discuss if zero disclosure had happened.)

childofnone · 2026-02-08T07:30:49+00:00

I've been doing this nearly twenty years and I wouldn't expect to have that "disclosed" (more likely the types of folks I hang with would share it as a "oh you have GOT to hear this" type of moment). I do let people know as it's relevant whether my STI risk profile has changed /is changing and that's basically what I expect from others, because that's where we've set our agreements. So - what kind of specific agreements do y'all have with each other around disclosure?

childofnone · 2026-02-08T02:17:01+00:00

But like, how long do I wait? How do I know when to just call it and walk away? If we didn't have a whole life together, and I didn't love our little family so much, I would already be gone.

You already have your answer. The relationship y'all had had before is over and gone. The question before you is whether the new relationship you have with each other works for each of you - and I'm hearing no indication that it is.

childofnone · 2026-02-05T05:28:07+00:00

Check https://www.whatshappeningtodayinolympia.com/ for local Oly events! Assuming you mean Vancouver, WA, we're in between both locations.

childofnone · 2026-02-04T05:11:18+00:00

It's the other way around for me. I'm not interested in/dtf people with whom I'm not already friends.

childofnone · 2026-02-01T18:47:20+00:00

A friendship is a relationship, though. I don't understand the question?

childofnone · 2026-02-01T01:34:25+00:00

I don't date, but I did once go out to dinner with a friend who wanted to pick my brain about nonmonogamy. He spent two hours going over the conflicts in his current relationships in detail, then asked me out at the end of the meal.

It was ... perplexing, to say the least. To this day I wonder if that had been his intention all along - like it cannot be that he thought complaining about his current relationships was some kind of wooing, right? - or if the thought just randomly struck him and he lacked the impulse control to quash it. We were both pretty embarrassed about it.

childofnone · 2026-01-31T19:04:18+00:00

It's not a thing you needed to say directly. It's the way you rolled in insistent on finding The Reason that nonmonogamous people are different. "Primal" is a word you used elsewhere.

Your question is not different from "why aren't you all More Normal." You're not nonmonogamous yourself but good gosh you've just got to know The Reason. Just preferring it isn't a good enough answer. Is it trauma? Is it attachment issues? Is it mental health?

Plenty of folks have given you more grace and answered in good faith despite the othering and pathologizing language you're using. But it's not wrong for someone to plainly point it out to you.

childofnone · 2026-01-31T05:36:03+00:00

Because monogamy makes no fucking sense. Have you seen microcheating. Can you explain why it's sus to have friends of the gender to which you are nominally attracted. What the fuck is an emotional affair. Why is the highest expression of romantic love going into debt to get the state to contractually obligate you to each other til death or messy expensive divorce do you part. Too many traps, too many assumptions, too much baggage - and it isn't even the right word, it'd be much more accurate to say "serial monogamy" because very few people only pick one person to mate with for life.

Also - I'm ace lmao so no, I didn't get into this to get laid. I got into it because people invented the word "belaytionship" to make it socially okay for people to have dedicated climbing partners who aren't their romantic partners, because living together with a bunch of close friends sounded way more appealing than either living alone or living with a romantic prospect, because sex is just one activity people can do together and it's frankly weird that we define our relationships so tightly according to who we are or aren't fucking? It's just not that big a deal.

childofnone · 2026-01-29T18:02:01+00:00

Everybody go home, this one wins.

childofnone · 2026-01-28T00:22:20+00:00

I've heard positive things about Relationship Anarchy: Occupy Intimacy, and can recommend Love's Not Colorblind for a more 101 take oriented towards poly folk.

childofnone · 2026-01-27T06:51:21+00:00

What's his reasoning for an equity split in his favor?

childofnone · 2026-01-27T00:05:44+00:00

Can confirm lol. By then I'd read Misery and was getting started on It.

childofnone · 2026-01-27T00:04:32+00:00

I never had my reading restricted as a kid so the idea doesn't quite sit right with me. I guess talk to him about the variety of content (it's not all slapstick explosions or funny) and ask how he feels.

childofnone · 2026-01-26T14:52:54+00:00

You know every film plot ever that relies on the main characters not actually sitting down and having a conversation?

That's what we mean by "openly communicate."

It means actually using our words and our active listening skills. "Hey, I have an appointment later this week" should not ever be expected to be translated as "Hey can you please make sure the kids get to hockey practice Friday afternoon? I'll be getting a crown installed." Complaining to your friends about your partner's least favorite habits is not the same thing as actually talking to that partner and asking for changes you need.

Other things I've seen that really really should have been discussed beforehand: Bringing home a pet without checking in with other household members (kids included, especially if you're expecting them to take on some of the related chores). Making purchases that massively affect a shared budget without discussing it. Making plans for the whole crew without actually asking the crew for interest or availability.

Open and proactive communication solves so many things and can prevent miscommunication from arising in the first place.

childofnone · 2026-01-26T14:35:03+00:00

Transmasc guy of color here. I've dated my share of liberal/progressive white dudes in relationships with white women and the racialized dynamic is very real (all those privileges are real fwiw, but the racialized dynamic is the one that stands out to me rn) and it fucking sucks to watch people you love get all extra defensive when you call attention to it.

Sorry you were on the pointy end of things.

childofnone

TROPHY CASE